Ended up here after things Erupted..Help!

2

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  • redheaded_womanredheaded_woman USASilver Member Posts: 4,739
    @brianc - any advice for him on that last post about anxiety?
    "Fuck yesterday, make tomorrow awesome." - Tennee
  • BrianCBrianC Oshawa, ONGold Men Posts: 3,138

    I'd like to hear little more about the feelings of anxiety and fear that you have mentioned. Anxiety is a bit of a specialty of mine, but I need a lot of details in order to give you any useful advice.

    It is worth saying that anxiety is a behavioral issue, and with the right training and habit-building, you can completely eliminated from your life. I'm going to link you to a thread on the basics about anxiety:

    http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/1240/anxiety-disorders

    Excessive porn use and masturbation can cause serious adjustments to brain chemistry that have symptoms similar to social anxiety, generalized paranoia, and attention deficit disorder. I would be curious to see if cutting it out doesn't remove a number of these feelings.

    All men are great men, most fail to see the greatness in themselves.

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  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    edited February 2014
    @BrianC- I don't think I really fall into many of those categories. Some of the descriptions fit but I think you are on to something with the porn. I had an uncle that lived with us for awhile when I was about 12/13 and I moved into his room when he moved out to live with a girlfriend. He left a treasure trove of porn mags in the closet. Every night I would practically rip my Wang off to this vast collection.Here it is 20 yrs later and I am still at it. I smoked weed for a majorityof that timetoo. I really only have anxiety when faced with thoughts like my wife wanting to leave or cheat. She gave me an ultimatum a couple months ago and I was a nervous wreck for a month. Now when I read primer and start putting 2 and 2 together as far as who is triggering the dopamine, I get a sinking feeling that almost cripples me. I think Onietis is a huge factor too.I have looked at porn 1time in the last week and am trying to kick it. I quit smoking weed about 6 months ago.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    Something new happened..as wierd as it sounds Ive been checking my wifes panties fir about the last six months. This morning when she left for work her panties (in the hamper) were all wet and it wasn't the usually pantie stain look. It was on the front by the elastic band and in the bottom part by where the pussy goes. That has not happened before. If she banged herself it would have to have been laying right next to me as I slept. We have two little kids that wake up easy..yesterday she text me that she needed me to give her some good loving. She ended up working really late and was dead tired when she got home and didn't look anywhere up for sex so I figured Id play it cool and not seem disappointed.I didn't initiate. So Im confused whether or not maybe my recent mapping has awaken a fire or the fact that she didn't wake me is bad. Not wanting to wake the kids to get one off is what im hoping. The wet panties is new behavior at least on the days when she leavesbefore me. Her period ended about 8 days ago.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

  • al2682al2682 CheeseheadSilver Member Posts: 535

    Eight days after + seven days for her period = 15.  It is her ovulation time which is the time that women are most receptive and horny.

    Hopefully it continues tonight.

  • dalefdalef Silver Member Posts: 1,963

    One question: You said you revealed an affair 8 years ago, and she told you she had had one too; is that the affair she had 12 years ago, or another affair? Trying to see if there is a pattern of cheating.

    That she tells you all about the other guy suggests that it is not an affair, a wife usually tires to hide an affair. It does sound like she is trying to make you jealous; I've had several GFs try that, and have realized that they saw me as aloof alpha, even though I saw myself as uber-beta.

  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    @dalef. It was an affair a couple years prior so probably like 10 years ago and im pretty sure it was a one time thing.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    Ahhh nice. That is not TMI. It is good to know.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

  • anglophileanglophile Pacific NorthwestSilver Member Posts: 167
    edited February 2014
    It can be like that all the time. Just grab her and bang her. If she's not into it make a sandwich and do something fun. ACT LIKE IT DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN. Rinse and repeat until you're dead. Watch what happens. It's fun.
    Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
    Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
    MaterStellieOneEyedDrunk
  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

    JellyBeanMaterStellie
  • RebuildingHusbandRebuildingHusband Southern USASilver Member Posts: 1,953
    That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.
    Isn't it terrifying that we've been doing that to ourselves?!  But comforting to know we can fix it!
    give a shit and try, or go be miserable by yourself - AlphaBelle
    GiveMePeace[Deleted User]
  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319



    That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.

    Isn't it terrifying that we've been doing that to ourselves?!  But comforting to know we can fix it!


    This whole experience has been just that -Terrifying and Comforting that = Mindfuck

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

  • Changed_ManChanged_Man ChicagolandSilver Member Posts: 1,965
    That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.
    @GiveMePeace, humor me for a bit.. what do you think Red-pill vs Blue-pill means?

    When push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off... And you stand!

    "Stand" by Rascal Flatts


    Pirouette
  • GiveMePeaceGiveMePeace CaSilver Member Posts: 319
    edited February 2014



    That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.

    @GiveMePeace, humor me for a bit.. what do you think Red-pill vs Blue-pill means?


    @Changed_Man Using it in the context that anglophile did I was referring to the old way I handled things vs. using Athols concept. But please if you have something you think I can understand better , throw it out there. I have kind of been confused because people kind of use it like beta vs. Alpha but there is the Matrix analogy in the book . But if beta was how you were prior than it kind of works both ways.

    "The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin

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