I'd like to hear little more about the feelings of anxiety and fear that you have mentioned. Anxiety is a bit of a specialty of mine, but I need a lot of details in order to give you any useful advice.
It is worth saying that anxiety is a behavioral issue, and with the right training and habit-building, you can completely eliminated from your life. I'm going to link you to a thread on the basics about anxiety:
Excessive porn use and masturbation can cause serious adjustments to brain chemistry that have symptoms similar to social anxiety, generalized paranoia, and attention deficit disorder. I would be curious to see if cutting it out doesn't remove a number of these feelings.
All men are great men, most fail to see the greatness in themselves.
@BrianC- I don't think I really fall into many of those categories. Some of the descriptions fit but I think you are on to something with the porn. I had an uncle that lived with us for awhile when I was about 12/13 and I moved into his room when he moved out to live with a girlfriend. He left a treasure trove of porn mags in the closet. Every night I would practically rip my Wang off to this vast collection.Here it is 20 yrs later and I am still at it. I smoked weed for a majorityof that timetoo. I really only have anxiety when faced with thoughts like my wife wanting to leave or cheat. She gave me an ultimatum a couple months ago and I was a nervous wreck for a month. Now when I read primer and start putting 2 and 2 together as far as who is triggering the dopamine, I get a sinking feeling that almost cripples me. I think Onietis is a huge factor too.I have looked at porn 1time in the last week and am trying to kick it. I quit smoking weed about 6 months ago.
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
Something new happened..as wierd as it sounds Ive been checking my wifes panties fir about the last six months. This morning when she left for work her panties (in the hamper) were all wet and it wasn't the usually pantie stain look. It was on the front by the elastic band and in the bottom part by where the pussy goes. That has not happened before. If she banged herself it would have to have been laying right next to me as I slept. We have two little kids that wake up easy..yesterday she text me that she needed me to give her some good loving. She ended up working really late and was dead tired when she got home and didn't look anywhere up for sex so I figured Id play it cool and not seem disappointed.I didn't initiate. So Im confused whether or not maybe my recent mapping has awaken a fire or the fact that she didn't wake me is bad. Not wanting to wake the kids to get one off is what im hoping. The wet panties is new behavior at least on the days when she leavesbefore me. Her period ended about 8 days ago.
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
One question: You said you revealed an affair 8 years ago, and she told you she had had one too; is that the affair she had 12 years ago, or another affair? Trying to see if there is a pattern of cheating.
That she tells you all about the other guy suggests that it is not an affair, a wife usually tires to hide an affair. It does sound like she is trying to make you jealous; I've had several GFs try that, and have realized that they saw me as aloof alpha, even though I saw myself as uber-beta.
Eight days after + seven days for her period = 15. It is her ovulation time which is the time that women are most receptive and horny.
Hopefully it continues tonight.
Not only that but a body's normal ovulation pattern, even when not horny, is cervical fluid which leaks out into the panties. It can be enough that I'll go change my underwear mid-day. TMI but sometimes when I take them off I'll use some other clean part of the underwear to wipe away some of the excess--which might account for the spot on the front, if she does as well.
Wow. Ovulation must have continued because I got my world fucking rocked. I have never had sex with my wife like that before. Stuff she wasn't into before, she was into last night. She kept screaming at me to bite her nipple, when before nipples where a no go. She was tongue ing my mouth like crazy and talking really dirty. My hamster starts in this morning wondering if she has done that with somebody else, but I know deep down that I need to harness this and be thankful that wife is acting like a sexual being.She was really submissive afterwards and trying to talk about how she is working on being more receptive to sex. I tried my best to STFU .
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
It can be like that all the time. Just grab her and bang her. If she's not into it make a sandwich and do something fun. ACT LIKE IT DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN. Rinse and repeat until you're dead. Watch what happens. It's fun.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
Post script: ten seconds ago I told her to touch it. I'm sick right now, and she doesn't want to catch it. She says no. She acts offended. Blue pill me would have been hurt and would have... I can't stand to type it. Anyway I say "Listen!" Silence. "That's the sound of fun dying." I let a soft moan out of the corner of my mouth. She laughs. I say touch it. She does. Stuff works. This just happened, on the couch, as I type.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.
@GiveMePeace, humor me for a bit.. what do you think Red-pill vs Blue-pill means?
When push comes to shove, you taste what
you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can
take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get
mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off... And you stand!
That is some good shit...Blue pill me has probably cockblocked worse than anything else.
@GiveMePeace, humor me for a bit.. what do you think Red-pill vs Blue-pill means?
@Changed_Man Using it in the context that anglophile did I was referring to the old way I handled things vs. using Athols concept. But please if you have something you think I can understand better , throw it out there. I have kind of been confused because people kind of use it like beta vs. Alpha but there is the Matrix analogy in the book . But if beta was how you were prior than it kind of works both ways.
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
@Changed_Man Using it in the context that anglophile did I was referring
to the old way I handled things vs. using Athols concept. But please if
you have something you think I can understand better , throw it out
there. I have kind of been confused because people kind of use it like
beta vs. Alpha but there is the Matrix analogy in the book . But if beta
was how you were prior than it kind of works both ways.
That was my particular concern.
Red-pilled does not equal alpha and blue-pilled does not equal beta... this is a common misconception. Becoming red-pilled is nothing more than crossing a threshold of understanding of the influences of Evo Psych in human interactions... most especially between men and women.
What sets Athol's site truly apart from other manosphere sites is understanding that married/LTR game requires both good alpha and appropriate beta from an alpha frame.
When push comes to shove, you taste what
you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can
take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get
mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off... And you stand!
Comments
I'd like to hear little more about the feelings of anxiety and fear that you have mentioned. Anxiety is a bit of a specialty of mine, but I need a lot of details in order to give you any useful advice.
It is worth saying that anxiety is a behavioral issue, and with the right training and habit-building, you can completely eliminated from your life. I'm going to link you to a thread on the basics about anxiety:
http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/1240/anxiety-disorders
Excessive porn use and masturbation can cause serious adjustments to brain chemistry that have symptoms similar to social anxiety, generalized paranoia, and attention deficit disorder. I would be curious to see if cutting it out doesn't remove a number of these feelings.
All men are great men, most fail to see the greatness in themselves.
Power, Passion, Principle and Purpose: The Wild Man Project
My most popular articles: The Art of the Apology (also on video), The Basics of Assertiveness, The Art of Friendship
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
Eight days after + seven days for her period = 15. It is her ovulation time which is the time that women are most receptive and horny.
Hopefully it continues tonight.
One question: You said you revealed an affair 8 years ago, and she told you she had had one too; is that the affair she had 12 years ago, or another affair? Trying to see if there is a pattern of cheating.
That she tells you all about the other guy suggests that it is not an affair, a wife usually tires to hide an affair. It does sound like she is trying to make you jealous; I've had several GFs try that, and have realized that they saw me as aloof alpha, even though I saw myself as uber-beta.
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
@CyrilFiggis, there is such a pill. It's red
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
This whole experience has been just that -Terrifying and Comforting that = Mindfuck
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
When push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off... And you stand!
"Stand" by Rascal Flatts
@Changed_Man Using it in the context that anglophile did I was referring to the old way I handled things vs. using Athols concept. But please if you have something you think I can understand better , throw it out there. I have kind of been confused because people kind of use it like beta vs. Alpha but there is the Matrix analogy in the book . But if beta was how you were prior than it kind of works both ways.
"The very essence of instinct is that it's followed independently of reason" - Charles Darwin
That was my particular concern.
Red-pilled does not equal alpha and blue-pilled does not equal beta... this is a common misconception. Becoming red-pilled is nothing more than crossing a threshold of understanding of the influences of Evo Psych in human interactions... most especially between men and women.
What sets Athol's site truly apart from other manosphere sites is understanding that married/LTR game requires both good alpha and appropriate beta from an alpha frame.
When push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off... And you stand!
"Stand" by Rascal Flatts