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What about after sex?

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  • OlddogOlddog CanadaSilver Member Posts: 743
    Thanks for the thread, it's given me something new to think about (then/now) :)

    My .02 cents:

    I'm not a touch person - it really never crosses my mind. I have to actively think about it. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I'll think beforehand 'I'll hug X when...', but it HAS to be a conscious thought. (I blame my dad - the man would get a cold sore just thinking about having to hug a bunch of elderly aunts :) ). That said, I really appreciate it when someone else does it naturally - kids, friends, family -- I think 'that was nice, why don't I do this more often?' But then the thought's gone... until someone else does it again.

    Cuddling afterward?

    I'm wondering if it's a scarcity thing? Because I love cuddling up with SO, and it's automatic when we're watching TV, or after sex, or when we get the rare chance to sleep all night together (I doubt we're more than 4 inches apart, and there is always a body part touching).

    At times in my marriage, the king bed was just not big enough.

    So personality or preference? Maybe, it's like the 10 second kiss? You don't realize it's been missing until you get back into the habit?

    If you want to cuddle, then pull/place/settle yourselves into a comfortable position.

    And I rarely want to talk about how 'good' it was for me afterward - my brain has been disconnected from my body and I'm OK with that. :)
    "STOP.THAT." - Tennee
    "So it seems to me, that you can in fact, you can teach an old dog new tricks" - Jamie Hyneman
    "So that's like a foursome every time you guys get it on!  - Monkeys_Uncle h/t Katherine Kelly
    PupTenneeAngeline
  • MongrelMongrel Pennsylvania, USASilver Member Posts: 1,869
    My FO will not cuddle after sex. She'll leap up and head to the bathroom, then do something:  cook, clean, whatever. It's like a shot of 5 Hour Energy for her. I've learned to just deal with it.
    "If you're not happy with your life, you've got to identify why, and do something about it." -- Mandrill
    "Treating her like a princess didn't make me a prince, it made me a servant."
    Link to triage questions:  http://marriedmansexlife.com/triage-your-relationship-and-the-911-er-category/


  • maxx138maxx138 San AntonioMember Posts: 170
    Pup said:
    I guess sex just isn't that important to my wife.  She likes it when I do what I want and take her, but even if she Os, it's like she doesn't give a shit once it's over either way.  It makes me think she's not enjoying it, but she seems to really enjoy it in the moment, just once it's done, she's 100% checked out.

    I used to get the same thing. She likes the domination and holding down and stern talk while I make her cum. But 5 minutes afters it's done...nothing

    I remember the first PIV orgasm I have her. I was literally in cloud 9 the next day, happy as shit. She was amazed and glowing in the moment, but by the next morning it was like it never happened. Didn't talk about it. Didn't text about it. I had the thought "was that really her first?"  If so it just seems like it'd leave a larger impression on her than just 15 minutes of afterglow. I did a beta thing and brought it up. She reiterated how wonderful it was and then ...off. It's as if she has a disconnect with sex. She will always take care of me, but only maybe once every 7-10 does she actually seem horny. 

    I understand. I have noticed from MAPPing that the more I just take her the more horny she becomes. Sometimes I'll have her in the morning before work, just a quickie, but by bedtime she is asking me to make her cum (that's our rule, I don't worry about her orgasm unless she tells me she wants one). 

    Keep working on it. When your SR goes above hers you may find that she's magically more sexual than she was!

  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713

    Sounds like the "good girl" is in residence. Mrs TRP never remembers having a PiV orgasm in doggy style, but I was there, I remember those contractions.


    Moving on... Post-Coitus Cuddle (PCC) has been an issue which I have started to resolve. Realized that it was something I was missing and have always missed. In the past I would have pulled some PA BS move.


    This time I decided it was time for me to set the tone. So I told wifey that we were having a five minute cuddle at bed time, the hamster did try and come out of it's barrow but was quickly stuffed down, "it'll help us both relax."


    Next night I turned it around with an application of cheeky-funny "I'm going to bed, if you don't come up in the next 10 minutes you won't get your cuddle." Result, she falls asleep on my shoulder. The following night was sexy time so again I pushed for cuddle after and got it.


    Last night, sexy time again but turned into duty sex and we were both bagged so I didn't bother with the cuddle. She is away on a family visit now for two weeks so I will have to remember to reinforce that part of the frame when she gets back.

    Have also to remember I will have more success if I don't accidentally kill any of the pets while see is away....

    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

    Angeline
  • Dia_DianaDia_Diana EUMember Posts: 10
    edited August 2014

    Oh boy, am I reading right? So many men here like cuddle after sex... what's wrong with H? He goes directly to the bathroom, has a shower, smokes a cigarette and eats something!!! it's more like a routine. 

    ... sometimes I can convince H to stay. Something that I am crazy about after he had just finished is to keep him inside me until it gets mild and slips away by itself. And meanwhile we're still wrapped around each other. 

    But that doesn't happen often recently.

    I think cuddling after sex is connected more to mood and personality than to affection...

  • SisyphusSisyphus Silver Member Posts: 1,094

    Mostly I want to laz about for a bit and then would love it if she tried to get me going again...I'm pretty sure she could rev me up again!


  • SomeDudeSomeDude Silver Member Posts: 833

    Girlfriend absolutely loves post-coital cuddle, as wrapped up completely as she can be.... me, I'd rather get up and have a drink and a smoke, eat something, whatever... but hey, she loves it so much I'll give her the cuddle :)

  • billsfan99billsfan99 JamestownSilver Member Posts: 169

    So after sex you are saying that I should initiate the cuddle too?  Really?  Too much beta? 

    Wife usually just puts her glasses on and grabs the TV remote.  I thought that if I initiate post-coital cuddle time I am now living in her frame.  A little clarification might be in order here

    Thanks

  • August_WestAugust_West New JerseyMember Posts: 127

    I used to smoke a cigarette, but I've been a little confused since I quit smoking. Sometimes we cuddle, sometimes I put on the robe and go get a glass of water, because I typically am in dire need of rehydration after we finish. She, on the other hand, collapses into a puddle like week-old gelatin. Sometimes I curl up with her, but other times I just get up and continue with my day.

  • r9stoner9stone MI, America's High FiveSilver Member Posts: 1,174

    I like the post bang cuddle, but I lay on the bed afterwards with my arm out and that is the sign for her to get them tight ass curves up against me :# I used to ask if she wanted to cuddle afterwards.....not anymore! I just stay in a frame that says woman get over here and fall asleep laying against me.

    AngelineLiquidSoundMaterStellieOlddog
  • RangerJohnRangerJohn God's CountrySilver Member Posts: 179
    r9stone said:

    I like the post bang cuddle, but I lay on the bed afterwards with my arm out and that is the sign for her to get them tight ass curves up against me :# I used to ask if she wanted to cuddle afterwards.....not anymore! I just stay in a frame that says woman get over here and fall asleep laying against me.

    That's it! Tucked under my right arm with her head and hand on my chest where she belongs! I don't have to say it...she finds me. Been that way for 18 and counting. Makes her feel safe. I'm still smitten.

    MaterStellieOlddog
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