Lap Dance

billsfan99

I have question for the forum. My wife and I are pretty regular in the sex department. The other night my cat jumps up on my lap and starts pawing at my like she is nesting. Off handedly I remark that I am getting a lap dance. My wife just kind of smiles so I say,"you could give me a lap dances too.  She says that she would but is afraid that I would tease her and make her self conscious about it.

How do it go about soliciting this lap dance with her?  She is a little on the conservative side when it come to sex. I want to open her up a little and explore some new things. In think this can be a step in that direction. Just want to make sure I keep it all positive and good.

fredless

Stoke her responsive desire all day.
Then, get a few glasses of wine in her. 
Candle light only.  It sets a mood.
Music.
No chance of interruption.
Tell her, with meat-stare eye contact to give you a lap dance.
Make many appreciative sounds/comments.  No laughing/giggling.
Fuck her like a man possessed afterward.  That part should be pretty easy.

billsfan99

@fredless can you give me a few examples of stoking her desire? She does not respond to sexting or innuendo very well

Joskin_Nodd

@billsfan99: "She says that she would but is afraid that I would tease her and make her self conscious about it."

I'd be too busy sporting a gigantic erection to think about teasing you. Afterwards, I'd be too busy bending you over and fucking you like a boss. After that, I'll be asleep. 

This is sounding better the more I talk about it. 

Monkeys_Uncle

@fredless comment got me to thinking...  A few glasses of wine have been involved in just about every sexual barrier I've ever broken through with my wife.   Not required for repeat performance, but very helpful in relaxing inhibitions that make the first attempt tense and uneasy for her.  Plus I think she sees me plying her with wine as a seductive thing that stokes her responsive desire.

"Here, let me fill that back up for you." followed by devilish grin.

It may be cheating, but I say if you aren't cheating you don't want it bad enough.

Rockstar

Tequila.

fredless

billsfan99 said:

@fredless can you give me a few examples of stoking her desire? She does not respond to sexting or innuendo very well

You say that she doesn't respond well to sexting or innuendo.  I have a hard time believing this unless you haven't calibrated correctly.  Can you give me some specific examples including her reaction so I can better calibrate my response.

billsfan99

She has told me that if I keep doing it she will give me back the phone.

Rockstar

What about physical contact? Is touch her love language? Start warm snugly and relaxed. Slowly turn dial to hot gropy and hungry.

fredless

billsfan99 said:

She has told me that if I keep doing it she will give me back the phone.

give me some example of your sexts.

Angeline

billsfan99 said:

@fredless can you give me a few examples of stoking her desire? She does not respond to sexting or innuendo very well

For those issues, You need to keep MAPpin', and it's possible that if she balks it isn't because she doesn't like it, it's because you need a high level of trust and attraction to do this. She is risking ridicule (in her mind - imagine yourself trying this) and to expose your inner stripper is hard even if attracted. What if he thinks I'm a slut? It's impossible if the attraction level is still low or spotty.

That said, even an attracted but shy woman will respond to the type of direction above. Tell her it doesn't matter if she doesn't know what to do or how to stripper-dance, you will tell her what to do. Maybe watch the movie True Lies, which to me has one of the hottest scenes ever filmed, the bedpole dance scene. At last half the hotness is him sitting in the dark, telling her what to do.

Don't know if this would help, but here's a thread an FO started for tips and encouragement.

marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/2207/lapdancing/p1

Pup

I occassionally use the line "Do it, slowly" (from scene above) with the accent with my wife.  Joking around of course.

mark

Give her time and light encouragement.  Too much encouragement will make her feel more self conscious, and too little won't give her enough push to do it.  Above all, be supportive in a gentle way. It will build her confidence.   
    

DaddyOh

Pup said:

I occassionally use the line "Do it, slowly" (from scene above) with the accent with my wife.  Joking around of course.

Use the following and its like taking candy from a baby 

Angeline

May 2014.

Slipangle

And 2012 before that... it's like a biannual pattern. We should do this a little more often and have an annual release your inner stripper day. Who's with me?