MAP in need of Reboot

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  • BourneAgainBourneAgain Gold Men Zen Garden Posts: 1,660
    Yep, Bony to Beastly.
    I'm a skinny-fat guy, i.e. ectomorph with a belly. But had higher bodyfat than most of the (relative beginner) younger guys who sign up. So they recommended I go on a bodyfat cut first.

    With their advice I lost 20lbs in 6-8 weeks, hence the abs now being visible. But my strength went up too. I'm now doing 3 sets of 8 chin ups in a row, push up PR is now 52 in a row.

    I paid a one-off fee for the ebooks etc, but best thing for me is the ongoing one-to-one forum advice from the guys who created it. Helpful and knowledgeable folks.

    Just into phase 2 now, starting to up the calories, bulking while trying to maintain the new low BF. Gotta keep them abs now no matter what! :wink: 

    "Keep practicing the behaviors you want to reinforce. You will gradually change the wiring in your brain." - Serenity

    "The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts; it gives you what you demand with your actions." - Steve Maraboli  (via Rapunzel)

    "Choose to enjoy the shit that makes up your life."  - AlphaBelle

  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    @BourneAgain‌ I am not that body type or haven't been since my teens early twenties. After a few circuits of You Are Your Own Gym (YAYOG) I've bulked out at bit and am around 165 lbs at 5' 5" with a little bit of a belly. Prior to that I was a martial artist and jogger so I had stayed in a health but not muscular shape.

    I haven't planned it through too much but my exercise plan was to continue to work YAYOG and add plank mini-workout to the end the normal 4-5 times a week work outs.

    Honestly, I am dreading calorie counting and monitoring food intake as I am a bit of a glutton.
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

  • BourneAgainBourneAgain Gold Men Zen Garden Posts: 1,660
    Ah right, we are very different types.

    Can't link to that plank workout you mentioned (glitch?) but yes planks are great for abs. I was surprised actually cos I'd been doing high number crunches and bicycle crunches for ages, but for me the planks are much more effective at least for upper abs.

    I'm doing front planks side planks and also touch elbow planks - there are just so many variations.

    Can't see them abs though unless bodyfat comes down, hence calorie counting is needed for 6-pack effect. Myfitnesspal.com is best one I've found so far.

    "Keep practicing the behaviors you want to reinforce. You will gradually change the wiring in your brain." - Serenity

    "The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts; it gives you what you demand with your actions." - Steve Maraboli  (via Rapunzel)

    "Choose to enjoy the shit that makes up your life."  - AlphaBelle

  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    I dumped 15 pounds to 170 lbs.  At 5'9" that aint bad.  Some cuts on my stomach due to weight loss and pushups.  Sweet.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    BourneAgainAngeline
  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    @BourneAgain‌ the here is the plank mini-workout.
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713

    What I Screwed Up (and didn't) This Time

    Another road trip this weekend. Most everything went well, B&B I booked was great, kid loved jumping through breakers at the beach with dad. W joined in and seemed happy in an almost childish way I haven't seen in a while.

    At bedtime I trapped myself with the expectation that away from home, fun day out equals sexy time. W was more, kid is down the hall and may wake up, other people are in the B&B etc. Trouble was I so sure of myself I had already taken Levitra.

    This broke down for a bit into a PA "I won't if you don't want to exchange", "but you've already taken your pill" exchange. I eventually figured it out and we did the deed. She did get an O from PiV but was not very enthusiastic.

    Kid was up in the middle of the night and go W up, so next day I took the kid into the surf again though it had got even colder and the horizon was black. W got a chance to rest and do some of her knitting on the beach.

    I drove us back via another attraction that I had picked out earlier, and this worked out well again and I managed to get us home for a barbecue a friend of W had invited us to.

    During the trip home kid asked "mom, why aren't you driving this time?" Ha ha!

    When we were going to bed I apologized for "being a bitch" the previous night. She evidently didn't understand what I was talking about. That made me realize I am more disappointed, as I know I can handle myself better.

    Painted the bathroom on Monday but the colour is not good will have to redo, dammit! We had brunch with friends of the W so I didn't get started until 4pm, finished at 9pm was beat next morning.

    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

    GiveMePeaceSmashmaster
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    That doesn't sound too bad.  You picked up that you were going back to the way you were and corrected.  Your wife didn't seem to see the problem and you got a hall pass.

    MAP on, you're going in the right direction.  Covert contracts suck, don't they?  What drive bys did you do during the day?

    One of the things I have figured out is that my wife isn't as attracted to me as she once was.  Stuff like you mentioned above she'd be ready to go.  Now, I have to work her up to it.  Sucks but I know the solution.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    AngelineSmashmaster
  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    Not too many drive bys that day, kid was in our face most of the day. Did try a few in the breakers though. I drive by almost every day often more than once but have been thinking that I should make sure it's every day. Also have been thinking I should initiate every day for a week l, just to shake things up!
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    edited September 2014
    Do more than one drive by a day.  Even a touch on the small of her back, get in her space, look at her with a shit eating grin.  Remember, our wives only have about 1/12th the testosterone.  Until we turn on the responsive desire they could really take it or leave it. Doing drive bys is just part of being awesome.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    try_red_pillAngelineBlueWolf
  • BourneAgainBourneAgain Gold Men Zen Garden Posts: 1,660
    FWIW, that plank workout seems too rushed.

    I just did / do  3 x 1 minute+ holds on front and side planks. I was shaking and sweating by the end. Those hurried 3-rep sequences in the vid don't seem to put enough load on the abs.

    Just my 2c.

    "Keep practicing the behaviors you want to reinforce. You will gradually change the wiring in your brain." - Serenity

    "The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts; it gives you what you demand with your actions." - Steve Maraboli  (via Rapunzel)

    "Choose to enjoy the shit that makes up your life."  - AlphaBelle

  • fordsvtfordsvt Canada Eh!Silver Member Posts: 2,300
    Nice job Bourne. It can happen at 50. Calories count low fat and high protein  I do planks hanging leg lifts side planks and weighted toe touches. It's working I can tell you that. 

    Into Phase 3..

    Those Who Dare......Win.   "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."

    BourneAgain
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    I do pushups and lost 15 lbs.  I don't have cuts but I do have some definition.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    BourneAgain
  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    @BourneAgain‌ yeah I have done that workout and it seemed like a lot of effort for a little impact, mainly on the upper abs.
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    Do more than one drive by a day.  Even a touch on the small of her back, get in her space, look at her with a shit eating grin.  Remember, our wives only have about 1/12th the testosterone.  Until we turn on the responsive desire they could really take it or leave it. Doing drive bys is just part of being awesome.
    @CartB4Horse reflecting on this I probably do about a dozen drive bys a day on the days when I do them. Just need to them EVERY day. This morning was illuminating. Came up behind her in the kitchen. Put my arm round her waist, upped close, growled and started kissing her best shoulders. We had sec least night so she pulled her typical post sec response of "Noooooo, get away" in high pitched voice and wriggled away to the other side of the kitchen. I stood still and posed my lips, staring directly at her. This is a que for a mouth to mouth kiss in our household. First she pulls a lemon face and shakes her head. I just relax and re-purse my lips. She comes over and gives the kiss smiling. She then says "you just power through rejection don't you?" I just STFU.
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

    BourneAgainBlueWolfTakingControl
  • UnBetaMeUnBetaMe Through The GatesMember Posts: 1,211
    Not bad, not bad at all!  :)

    When my wife has time to react negatively to a drive by I believe it's because I wasn't quick enough.  

    This.

    When you do a drive by, don't linger and give the Hamster time to react.  Just do it and then exit stage left like it never happened.  If you can't leave, then as Cart did, laugh and smack her ass. 

    You did power through the pushback, in which you executed a compliance test by her kissing you. Which kept you in a strong frame.
    CartB4HorseBlueWolfTakingControl
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    edited September 2014
    My drive bys and initiations just got turned up three notches.  I've been borderline putzing in for some action instead of coming in full throttle.  Time to floor it.  And have some A&A comments on standby.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    UnBetaMeBlueWolfSmashmaster
  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713

    Displaying High Value


    Red

    Stop displaying low value. There is a bad personnel habit I have had since I was a kid. I need to stop it and I will do this by reminding myself it's a DLV every time I catch myself doing it.

    Stop emotional tunnel vision. Not too sure about this one. Think I have, mostly, settled down to the fact that my wife is fungible. The D word has been brought up by both of is at different times in the past but I have always felt like it was an "easy out."

    With my work it's not so clear cut. I have been working 20+ years in a highly specialized role and jumping jobs and or industries without a huge pay cut seems impossible. However if I can obtain a couple of certifications I might start to look a lot more attractive to some other employers.


    Yellow

    Start passing fitness tests. Have been doing this intermittently for a while. I find it hard to differentiate between fitness tests, loyalty tests and requests that my wife is making because she genuinely needs help. For instance last night I got called from, by shout, to haul a pet pen down to the basement. As she has a problem with her elbow that makes it hard for her to lift and carry stuff I don't think it was an unreasonable request. l would rather do it myself rather than have her risk further injury.

    I am going to have to post a few things here to see if they are fitness tests or not.

    Maintain your own frame. I used to panic and react at every little expression of discontent from her. I have been working at this and a couple of nights ago I stayed cool and cocky while she raged about the kids behavior. I even threw in some drive bys for good measure.

    Learn to parent. We have a pattern where I will lay down the law with the kid and my wife will soften things or let our kid off entirely. She is now complaining that the kid can be self entitled and lazy, and is not looking forward to her teens. I feel like saying "well, duh." However I am more concerned with the long game and need to figure a way to this out as a boundary without turning over the apple cart. There was a real ding-dong last night between the two of them a I think that the wife is starting to be more prepared to listen. A little while ago she said she did not enjoy traveling for two weeks with the kid with "dad to lay down the law."
    Interestingly enough W bought right in to my "no X without Y" stance with the kid this weekend.

    Teach "no X until Y". See the previous topic. Start this weekend, kid wants to go to a store so the chores will have to be done first.


    Green

    Dress well. Started dressing well a couple of years ago and have since been promoted at work. People notice. Need to refresh wardrobe as some of my stuff is beginning to get a bit worn. When cool we weather arrives need to start wearing a jacket to work.

    Be cool. If I maintain my frame I will always seem much cooler. Frame, frame, frame.

    Be playfully dominant. Have been doing this with small compliance tests and telling her "don't be naughty!" when she goes out.

    Lead somewhere. Led on a weekend trip recently which was a great success. Need to add dates etc once per month.

    Follow somewhere. I do this at work, supporting my supervisor and manager. Am also following by letting her thanks the lead in reorganizing the living room and supporting her in doing it.

    Figure out who is in charge. As I said in my triage up to this point she has been the leader. Her parents were both alcoholics when she was growing up. Having this kind of family tends to make people need to control everything. This is something I am cognizant of but forget about in the moment. With the changes I have made she is starting to look to me for leadership more.

    Masculine and feminine. The change in the way I dressed and increased muscle a while ago led to her buying and wearing more dresses. When I got into body weight training I had to buy new bigger shirts because they were all stretching across the shoulders and ripping at the elbows!

    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

    BlueWolfCartB4Horse
  • try_red_pilltry_red_pill Silver Member Posts: 713
    edited September 2014
    Update on three Monkeys:

    1. Get the revised drawings from the architect and get them to the city. - Done
    2. Start a new 10 week You Are Your Own Gym cycle. - Started but 60+ hands knee high push ups and 60+ surface tricep extensions strained my triceps, so I will have to rest for a bit.
    3. Document the work experience for first certification. - This got put to one side because of the work on number 1. I did however get the the bathroom re-painted so that counts as a good substitute in my book. Also did some paleo cooking today for the family for a bonus.

    Next weeks Monkeys:
    1. Document the work experience for first certification.
    2. Cook dinner at least one time during the week.
    3. Follow up with the basement tradesman to co-ordinate window replacement.
    Dharma, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
    Progress not perfection.

    BourneAgainAngelineBlueWolf
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