Just talked to her attorney. She wants to keep everything as is. Basically I would still go over to see the kids. Pay no child support except pay half the child care to her sister.
I just thanked him for his time with no answer.
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
HildaCornersWinter? You call *that* winter?Gold WomenPosts: 3,377
You do not want to talk to her attorney.
Lawyers are skilled double talkers. I think they teach this in law school. If you are not skilled at answering convoluted questions ("Mark72, is it not true that you did not hit your wife *yesterday*? Please answer yes or no."), you will lose, and lose big time.
Your future income stream may hang on the placement of a single comma.
If Wife wants to talk about separation/divorce, say "I am in the process of hiring an attorney. / I hired an attorney. And divorce talk will be through our lawyers."
If her lawyer wants to talk to you directly, say the same thing.
By the way, the proper answer to the question above is: I don't understand the question, can you re-phrase it?
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
I was very careful not to give any information. He didn't ask anything of me. He didn't seem too motivated to move in any way at all. I just asked him for what she wanted so I knew going in. He pointed out that she didn't want my 401k for any extra child support, to which I just said uh huh. Bottom line, I know by the way he talked to that he has not given her any big sum of money comma because he said that if we don't come into an agreement for a dissolution, that she would have to spend the money to file for divorce. Either way, I've got some time to get another job and get things paid off and get a place that's suitable for me and the kids.
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
I don't get it... she KNOWS I'd never go for the status quo as an agreement. Maybe she has lost her damn marbles.
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
I don't get it... she KNOWS I'd never go for the status quo as an agreement. Maybe she has lost her damn marbles.
You NEVER propose a fair deal as the opening of a negotiation. Always begin from a position where you are comfortable walking back towards the middle. You really need a lawyer.
give a shit and try, or go be miserable by yourself - AlphaBelle
As I recall you pay a rather exorbitant amount in child care. To her sister. I'm 75% sure you're the only one paying child care. That would make it a more reasonable amount.
As I recall you pay a rather exorbitant amount in child care. To her sister. I'm 75% sure you're the only one paying child care. That would make it a more reasonable amount.
I know she is also paying the same amount. Saw the checks
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
How old are the children now? Two in school and a four year old? Is the childcare still $1600 a week? That is absolutely insane if you are dishing out $800 a month on childcare. The cars? Those were almost $600 per month, IIRC. What's up with that? Is the cell phone still $200. You were locked into a contract, that should be nearly over by now, right?
Youve been on here two years and for two years you've said "I have a bit of time still to get a place". We are all rooting for you, but dang!
Do you take any SSRI's? I'm just curious as in my experience, they can take all the 'umph!' away that you need to be accomplishing things. If so, might want to check that. I'm really grabbing at straws trying to figure out why it appears you've made no headway in years.
Are your days full? Are you working two jobs? If not, what are you doing with the rest of your day?
We asre paying her $1600 per month. Not a week. I pay $800 a month
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
I have been submitting resumes. Average 2 a day. I've had 4 interviews. I will find another job. I'm not unqualified, my present job ends at 5 - 5:30. Usually 5. I'm thinking outside the box for flexible hours. Take out taxi - work from home -
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
HildaCornersWinter? You call *that* winter?Gold WomenPosts: 3,377
Another reason you need a lawyer ... getting a second job may not be the best strategy for an upcoming divorce.
WARNING: I'm not a lawyer, this is not advice.
As an example, let's say you get a job working 5 evenings a week, and your total income is slightly higher than your soon to be ex wife's. Because of your incomes, you have to pay her support. And you get less time with your kids, because you're working and can't take the kids then.
On the other hand, let's say you're making less than your wife, on one standard day job. There's won't be alimony, support and child care expenses will be split 50/50, and you have time to spend with the kids. If I remember, your stbx is a nurse ... if she works odd hours, you may get the kids on those nights.
Both strategies have good and bad points, and can make a huge difference in how any divorce is structured. I can't tell you what's the best thing to do, you don't know how a second job will affect things ... but a good lawyer will. And might save you their fee, many times over.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
How can she afford a lawyer and yet you can't? You need a lawyer man. Paying her sister $1600 a month wow. Do you get a tax receipt. ? get ready Mark. Be mentally ready. I also agree a second job right now may not be a good plan. May cost you more in support there. This sucks man I'm sorry. You fought hard really hard. She never did and just used you.
Into Phase 3..
Those Who Dare......Win. "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."
While I am living in a place that is not suitable for my children to come and visit, let alone stay overnight, I'm afraid my only option right now is to get another job and get a place of my own. The second job would be mainly to pay down my current debt load like my car and medical bills. I just need to find a way to have a place for them to come because this crap is getting old.
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
Funny... feel strong for weeks but every now and then a random memory pops up and tried to bring me back down It'll pass
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
I need an attorney right.the.fuck.now, and then I'll work through getting a place and an attorney.
FTFY. You are being played - I told you that up-thread re: child care costs and about a million other times throughout these 111 pages. I can smell it all the way down here in SEC country. You.Need.An.Attorney.NOW. They are working you like Boxer in Animal Farm, and you're flying blind through divorce proceedings where she HAS an attorney.
You are going to wind up screwed. Fix that. Sell the damn car and buy a gas-can with wheels that you can pay cash for. Renegotiate your med bills, consolidate them and work the the debtor on a plan.
Your inaction is going to put you deep in a hole. I love you man, and this comes from a place of love: FUCKING DO SOMETHING. You repeat the same stuff: "I'm afraid my only option right now is to get another job and get a place of my own." I heard that 47 pages ago.
GET.AN.ATTORNEY.
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb
Appointment Wednesday morning. fees can be worked out
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
Comments
I just thanked him for his time with no answer.
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
She is out of her fucking mind
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
Lawyers are skilled double talkers. I think they teach this in law school. If you are not skilled at answering convoluted questions ("Mark72, is it not true that you did not hit your wife *yesterday*? Please answer yes or no."), you will lose, and lose big time.
Your future income stream may hang on the placement of a single comma.
If Wife wants to talk about separation/divorce, say "I am in the process of hiring an attorney. / I hired an attorney. And divorce talk will be through our lawyers."
If her lawyer wants to talk to you directly, say the same thing.
By the way, the proper answer to the question above is: I don't understand the question, can you re-phrase it?
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
How will you live well today?
Is the childcare still $1600 a week? That is absolutely insane if you are dishing out $800 a month on childcare.
The cars? Those were almost $600 per month, IIRC. What's up with that?
Is the cell phone still $200. You were locked into a contract, that should be nearly over by now, right?
Youve been on here two years and for two years you've said "I have a bit of time still to get a place". We are all rooting for you, but dang!
Do you take any SSRI's? I'm just curious as in my experience, they can take all the 'umph!' away that you need to be accomplishing things. If so, might want to check that. I'm really grabbing at straws trying to figure out why it appears you've made no headway in years.
Are your days full? Are you working two jobs? If not, what are you doing with the rest of your day?
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
WARNING: I'm not a lawyer, this is not advice.
As an example, let's say you get a job working 5 evenings a week, and your total income is slightly higher than your soon to be ex wife's. Because of your incomes, you have to pay her support. And you get less time with your kids, because you're working and can't take the kids then.
On the other hand, let's say you're making less than your wife, on one standard day job. There's won't be alimony, support and child care expenses will be split 50/50, and you have time to spend with the kids. If I remember, your stbx is a nurse ... if she works odd hours, you may get the kids on those nights.
Both strategies have good and bad points, and can make a huge difference in how any divorce is structured. I can't tell you what's the best thing to do, you don't know how a second job will affect things ... but a good lawyer will. And might save you their fee, many times over.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
Paying her sister $1600 a month wow. Do you get a tax receipt. ?
get ready Mark. Be mentally ready.
I also agree a second job right now may not be a good plan. May cost you more in support there. This sucks man I'm sorry. You fought hard really hard. She never did and just used you.
Into Phase 3..
Those Who Dare......Win. "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
It'll pass
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey
You are going to wind up screwed. Fix that. Sell the damn car and buy a gas-can with wheels that you can pay cash for. Renegotiate your med bills, consolidate them and work the the debtor on a plan.
Your inaction is going to put you deep in a hole. I love you man, and this comes from a place of love: FUCKING DO SOMETHING. You repeat the same stuff: "I'm afraid my only option right now is to get another job and get a place of my own." I heard that 47 pages ago.
GET.AN.ATTORNEY.
How will you live well today?
Hier stehe ich. Ich kann nicht Anders tun. Gott hilfe mir. Amen. - Martin Luther
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Pascal
My journey