It works!

RKWMRKWM Silver Member Posts: 13

Seems to be perfect timing - Came here to tell my story and there was a whole new empty forum for it.

I read the Primer in April after seeing someone recommend it in /r/deadbeadrooms (I've lost track of how long it's been since my wife and I last had sex, but let's call it a year ago). I read MAP shortly after.

Since reading the books I've been:

  • Making decisions, rather than saying "Whatever you want"
  • Planning what she's making for dinner or telling her where I'm taking the family to eat
  • Proactively taking care of "man work" like mowing the lawn and taking out the trash
  • Continuing drive-bys even after getting dirty looks
  • Planning out what's going to happen and when throughout the day (she always plans 9 things when there's time for 5)
  • Increasing the frequency and intensity of body weight exercises (and planned a routine for her when asked)
  • Telling her to do things that I want her to do
  • Saying "No" when I don't want to do things
  • More consistent with disciplining the kids
  • Going about doing my own thing, including going to the movies twice without her
  • Being OI when the hamster has her convinced she doesn't want to fool around
  • Happier

Yesterday in particular I:

  • Endlessly ogled her chest and groped her ass (to repeated eye rolls, dirty looks & being called a perv)
  • Picked where we were going for lunch
  • Called her out on sending me to the store when we had already been out
  • Got the tool/part/knowledge needed from Home Depot to cap a pipe that was keeping her from using the garden hose
  • Informed her of our son's punishment for misbehaving at the store
  • Ignored her calls to get something from the van for her (and saw her from the other room go get it herself)
  • Chose what movie we watched in the evening
  • Went for it by rubbing her back when she was asleep in bed, when I was expecting a scowl and an "I'm tired"

And what did I get?

That quiet sleepy moan. I know that moan. I know where this is going. And just like that, we had sex for the first time in who knows how long. We may not have woken up the neighbours, but this was no starfish sex.

And what do I do from here?

I MAP on. There are still plenty of reds and yellows on my MAP to take care of - I understand that it's an endless process. For me, about a month of following Athol's books has lead to me being a happier person with a better understanding of my relationship. Thanks to Athol, Jennifer, and all of the forum members.

AngelineJellyBeanThe_DudeBankerBoyMariaSignorePillolaRossaBourneAgainSerenityElCapitanPhoenixDownBC_hunterMasterOfTheUniverseAlphaBelleKattpu1pj1tt3rsTemplarDodnever_againBlackwulfTimSim1971RingingTenBigglesworth[Deleted User]SouthPawHopeful[Deleted User][Deleted User]Pirouette[Deleted User]JoannaTiberiusTimitzMiddleManddadJen_KayJoskin_NoddConradTheatreMommyCartB4HorsePandaBear7TenneeButchHobsonshibarianonymbobby52549LiquidSoundnewredpillrecruitBatman64[Deleted User]GiveMePeacedewyOlddogHappyWifesashaal2682LoisLaneLovesBatmanMustache

Comments

  • markymapomarkymapo Silver Member Posts: 542

    OI for me is the best outcome...don't ever let them know it bothers you when they say no or give you the "sleepy moan".  Congrats man!!

  • ddadddad Silver Member Posts: 791

    Nice work! How long have you been mapping?

  • anonymanonym Silver Member Posts: 418
    Good job man! I noticed dramatic results early on in the MAP as well, but when things are going really well, it can become easy to lose your focus. Ive been at it 14 months, and it has been a slow climb and we are finally getting to a nice steady, stable marriage and sex life again. We are much happier than we were even two months ago. Keep on the right track, you wont be disappointed.
    Captain_Hammerfordsvt
  • browneyesbrowneyes SloveniaSilver Member Posts: 12

    @RKVM You my role model :)

  • fordsvtfordsvt Canada Eh!Silver Member Posts: 2,300

    Get at it hard-don't ever stop. I've noticed a big difference in month 6 here. Mapping is for life now. How long for you so far?

    Into Phase 3..

    Those Who Dare......Win.   "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."

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