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TDogs Triage
TDog
BalkansMember Posts: 18
I did post a brief intro but I can see that a triage in necessary so here is my attempt and I promise I will attempt to keep it brief.
Comments are welcome 
Basic Questions
Both 32. Been married for coming up 5 years. Were together for 1 year prior to getting engaged and subsequently married.
1 Child - 2 year old girl.
Hmmm.. attractiveness, not sure about this one. We're both quite young looking and relatively fit although I did get a bit bigger over time, I'm 5"9 and weight about 85 kg - that's around 187 pounds. She's 5"6 and weighs around 121 pounds (I think), I know she's a UK size 8 dress size . She does grab a lot of male attention especially as she is very slender, darker complexion. I'm fair haired, blue eyes so complete opposite.
I'd say she's a solid 8 when she makes an effort and I'd like to think I'm in that range or thereabouts, but then again it's hard to be objective.
Rule Out Medical
Generally we are both quite fit and healthy apart from the occasional hay fever. I haven't been to a doctor for over 3 years and can't remember the last time I was sick. I don't drink and have recently stopped with unhealthy foods although my only vice is smoking and I'm looking to kick the habit at some point next week. She's a little more sensitive but generally fit and healthy.
Natural birth control - when we do have sex, meaning pull out before pompeii explodes. I'm not a fan of condoms. She orgasms pretty much every time so no issues there, at least I think.
Rule Out Structural Attraction Issues
I am employed and she is a stay at home mum, but she has expressed an interest in going back to work. I am in a very well paid senior post in a relatively small company cca 30 ppl.
I drive, she doesn't (again she has expressed an interest in doing so). We rent but we are attempting to save money at the moment for a deposit.
My only debt is my student loan which takes a piece of my wage, but it's not something we can control nor impacts us in any significant way.
Like I said I did get a bit out of shape however I have started a daily exercise regime (mainly running and ab crunches around 45 mins per day straight after work). I was previously a very confident, outgoing and relatively alpha male however over time I realise I became very beta, took on a more nurturing/caring role especially after the little one was born.
Rule Out Critical Moments and Neglect
I guess the main issue has been my work. Due to the nature of my job I often get back home and usually at some point in the evening turn the laptop on and continue working (sometimes the whole night) and then back to work in the morning.
I also travel often across the globe to see different clients but never more than a week.
Both have been faithful to my knowledge. I don't clean, cook, iron or any of that - she takes care of all of that.
Really only things I do around the house are lift heavy items, sometimes make a coffee for both and help around the little one such as when it's time for a bath. I will assist her from time to time with some other stuff such as bringing the washing in, helping change the bed or putting some stuff away.
Rule Out Outside Sexual Sources
I have pretty much access to her phone, email, facebook and I'm certain she's not had any affairs. She seems very shy about sex and almost frigid. I don't think she's even masturbated ever!
When we do have sex she does enjoy it and relax a lot more and even enjoys me talking dirty to her (there is a limit tho!). Oral is never given, but sometimes she does receive if I can coerce her enough, otherwise it's missionary all the way..exciting stuff!
If one outside source counts, it's the mother in law! She's very conservative and has a tendency to put things into the missus head and frankly it drives me up the wall.
I have been faithful - aside from a glance and some flirting here and there.
When Did the Sex Go Bad?
Pretty much after about 6 months into the pregnancy. After the little one was born I pretty much got the I'm tired or I'm not in a mood. She breastfed up until recently and that used to drain her a lot. Sex is very infrequent around 1 every month and I always initiate with some resistance, but I persevere.
Her life is just about the little one and she is constantly obsessing about her. I take 2nd place.
Lingerie or anything interesting like that is a no go. I get the answer of I'm not a "whore" but I digress.
Like I said nowadays it's pretty much missionary with me on top, any other position I attempt I just get resistance. Hair pulling is a big no no.
What Was the Sex Like at the Start of the Relationship?
Excellent and very frequent. I distinctly remember one of the best days was when she greeted me and got all kinkied up and initiated, that feels like a 100 years ago. I used to bring that up a few times but she just says, we are serious people now and have a child to look after. Whatever..
Different positions were the norm and even oral was given. Although I was still often the initiator I never got rejected and she would initiate every so often.
What’s the Elephant in the Room?
I am a workaholic! I watch porn almost nightly - unless I get laid. The mother in law drives me up the wall and I can tell she still has an influence on the missus. (They do live 3 hours away which is good but they talk about 20 times a day).
Who is the Leader in your Marriage?
Tell Us About the Good Times
Well obviously it was very good at the start however there were other factors involved in that we were in a different country, she didn't speak the language and I took care of everything as a result.
I guess that played to my alpha strengths. We actually moved back to our country of origin just before the little one was born.
That's my triage, apologies for any rambling.
Comments
I'll take that advice on board about the porn.
Complete tee total and no drugs from either. I smoked a few joints in the past when I was about 20 but since then nothing but cigarettes booo...
When I worked in my previous company I used to take her on business trips with me and admittedly she used to enjoy that.
I more often then not, fly to the UK but she's not a fan of the place (No offence to any Brits) so I don't bother taking her and I supposed I was always of the mentality that the heart grows fonder when you're away from each other.
I did take her and the little one for a mini break recently and that did get me laid one night out of the 4.
I'll be honest guys, I am fishing for opinions as I'm trying to reign things in, so more comments are welcome.
I am only in the 1st Phase:
It's still early doors as to the progress, but advice and support is welcome (in fact I am actively asking for it!).
In return I will be providing updates on a regular basis so you guys are aware of the progress.
Had an interesting response from her this morning.. not sure how I should be taking it, we went out to run some errands, went to the bank to open a savings account (of course in my name) and then we went for a coffee at my instruction.
While we're sat there she says to me "On Saturday when I put the little one to bed in the afternoon, can I please go shopping for an hour", my response was "maybe, we will see".
It's just the way she asked in a very submissive manner that caught me off guard.
No other comments? I would like some more advice some the people out there..