Walks like a duck, smells like a duck, barks like a dog?

CartB4Horse

A few interesting tests this week end in the Cart household.

I went to the gym Saturday morning.  Didn't tell the wife in advance, just got dressed and told her where I was going.  I also had sent a text to my Ex-wife and was on the phone with the Ex when I walked back into the house from the gym.  We were talking about our son's grades and other parenting issues.  This is a VERY tender area for my wife as she is jealous/insecure BIG TIME.

Anyhow, later that day Mrs. Cart said "you should hook up with one of the women at the gym that can give you the sex you want."  She also said "why don't you hook up with Ex-Mrs. Cart?"  I didn't say a damn thing.  She was blabbing about other things as well while I maintained my Frame.

I want to believe these were loyalty tests but they smelled like shit tests (pun intended).  Just the level of sarcasm and shittyness didn't come across right.

Anyone have input for me?  Questions?  Was this a double bind?

Mr_Brown

Must be loyalty test weekend?? I got the mother load too... It sounds like a complicated loyalty test, on Father's Day weekend no less! 

I'm just trying to run my MAP and A&A... My response would've been... "Why would I do that when I have a fine piece of ass like you at home??"

CartB4Horse

@Mr_Brown -- That's a good come back but I just couldn't do it.  Instead, I let my silence send a message.

PandaBear7

Agree and amplify? I am sure I would just piss my wife off with any comment I could think of. 

I always thought their must be something to that Muslim up to 4 wife thing I saw in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Mr_Brown

I've been getting them left and right... Loyalty tests. My wife has said similar things to me as well. I'm thinking low self esteem, but I'm still getting caught up on your backstory... But it sounds like we've got some similarities. Ex's and BS! 

CartB4Horse

@Mr_Brown -- I just started getting loyalty tests, if that's what these are.

I believe that since I have started going to the gym (not just working out at home) the wife is taking notice.  She didn't think I'd keep it up.

I'm doing what I want to do.  Go to the gym.  Do up my own list of what I want to take care of each day.  Go out by myself and be comfortable doing that.  This is new for me.  I'm setting my own course.

Mr_Brown

I do a lot of the same, however I was gas lighted this weekend, I got the "I never make a big deal about xyz... XYZ is a huge deal yada yada yada. 

She also mentioned spewing our problems to internet strangers, so I think she discovered the sight as well?? Or she's known about it and kept her mouth shut? 

The only piece of advice I'm in the place to give you right now is that your here for a reason... To make yourself better and more than likely to make your relationship better. What my wife was trying to say this weekend was that she's become a "slave" to me, or that's her view of it. And it really put a damper on receiving Father's Day gifts, it pretty much left a sour taste in my mouth and left the presents as meaningless. 

Anyway I've got a lot on my mind, the advice... Remember to date your wife as well. She wants to know that she's part of your life, that you guys are a team. Common goals and interests need to be prioritized. Don't let date nights and quality time (insert love language) fall by the wayside.