Small epiphany - when to expect the fitness test

DrBeta

MrsBeta has recently upped her game, in exactly the ways that I asked her to.  She's going to yoga every day (which has been awesome for her body).  She's wearing the dresses that I like.  She's working on her Admiring Wife character when we're in public.

IOW, she's bammed MrsBeta Awesomeness up to a new level, and specifically in response to my instructions.

What I didn't anticipate was that having successfully moved into this new phase of awesomeness, she would need some reassurance about whether the extra work is worthwhile.  Her new essential question is, "What's my prize? for all this hard work and improvement?"

I totally missed that, although I've been on my own trajectory of self-improvement, her recent steps forward necessitate a new Fitness Test.  That is, she needs to recalibrate her understanding of my Sex Rank, because her own has recently improved.

At first, I was supplying beta support and unqualified praise when she expressed anxieties or small complaints.  Of course, these escalated over the course of three days until finally, she was giving me and Son#2 major attitude.

This is where I screwed up.  Instead of calling her out on her bitch-face and helping get her head on straight, I went with the, "Something is wrong.  Tell me about it."

She responded with a pointless diatribe complaining about DD's attitude on some nonsensical thing.  She was practically begging for me to Captain-up, but instead I went with some patient beta listening.

The next day, we talked it thru when she said something to the effect of being lonely and unsatisfied with our marriage.  I said I regretted my performance the previous night and that if I could do it over, I never would have put up with any of her attitude nonsense.

She objected, argued, defended, gaslighted, and rewrote history -- all of which I rejected.  Of course, that conversation ended with her in tears, complaining about what an asshole she's married to and the gross unfairness of it all.

This morning?

Fresh-baked from scratch banana muffins and a morning quickie.

The moral of the story is that when the First Officer makes huge improvements in her life, she will feel like she's deserving of some kind of promotion.  In her mind, she won't be certain if she's outranking her Captain.  She needs to have some specific experience that reassures her that she's still with the best of all possible mates.

That reassurance might only come from a Fitness Test, depending on the circumstances.  So, as Captain, I may as well look forward to it.  Expect it.  Pass it. 

Repeat.