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Comments
Evolutionary Biology
Ah ha, knew it was something easy.
Sex 3-4 times a week, she's cool with not coming, when she does wanna come she goes off like a rocket, comes from anal, multiple positions, face f*cking, and who knows what else. Not really sure I'm seeing the problem.
I'm not trying to trivialize your feelings. I get that we all have things that we really, really want in bed. Little, quirky things that, for whatever reason, would mean a lot to us. And the fact that she flat out won't give you this one request is indicative of... something. I'm just not sure what. However, from my perspective, she is also serving up (on a platter) stuff that a lot of guys would give their left nut for. Just sayin'.
Correct me if I'm wrong but you also seem a bit resentful about the foreplay / initiation ratio and her general passivity. I think a lot guys fantasize about the confident, insanely horny woman that will push us down, climb on top and ride us hard while growling "What's my name, bitch?" Or is that just me? Have I said too much?
Anyway, back in the real world... the forum is littered with the dead dreams for a more proactive partner. Have you read any of the threads where the women here describe how they initiate? It is sobering material. Especially coming from the sexy, red pill women MMSL tends to select for. Reactive desire, it is what it is.
Finally, I saw no mention of you going down on her? Do you? Not to be too transactional about things but is part of the problem the fact that she's not retuning the favor?
“She was 3/4 perfection and 1/4 broken glass.”
@stillasamountain
You're right. After reading these forums for the past year I do have it better than a lot if men. She is very submissive to me and I love it. I am a little bent about what seems like always having take charge of everything. But really she does do stuff spontaneous when she's very aroused. Several times she's pulled me into the bedroom while her so was watching TV and we fucked like mad.
I don't think she is nor would I really want her to do a dominating woman in bed. She does tell me if she wants something. Like from behind or to cum on her tits or something. That's as far as I let her go.
You're right I get to fuck her face whenever even though she doesn't like how she tastes, so I shouldn't complain. There's just something extra submissive and sexy about a BJTC.
I go down on her all the time. Haven't made her cum that way in awhile as she usually pulls me up to start fucking her. I go down for foreplay about 75% of the time
Just think she might have a hang up or my attraction is too low for the "ultimate" submission of a BJTC. Next time we are having a hot and heavy night I will lay on my back and tell her what I want.
I guess it could be a little of "not returning the favor". Also could be that I'm still not used to having such a submissive woman at my disposal and is a good sign I still have work to do
Has there ever been a time when she was offering or giving a BJ and she got something other than strong positive reinforcement from you?
"I am a little bent about what seems like always having take charge of everything."
Has there ever been any negative response from you when she has taken the initiative?
My husband has no problem going down on me, but the times I have done it for him, he suddenly gets really weird about it. He loses his erection. One time he even literally yelled at me. As in, he raised his voice and screamed at me when I asked him what he wanted me to do to make it better for him. So... there hasn't been much BJ action in my house for a while. I'm not saying it is off the table forever, but a lot of things will have to change for that to happen again.
I'm just asking you to consider if there have been any instances where she was willing, and it didn't go well.
@JellyBean
Nothing negative when she shows initiative. It's actually refreshing sometimes. But she has a very strong desire to be submissive to me. She WANTS me to be a strong alpha male and take what I want. Just been stuck in Nice Guy mode for so many years it takes awhile to unlearn. But I am working on it.
BJs from her were met with nothing but gratitude and lost of moaning and encouragement. No bad experiences at all. Although one time during the day I texted her out if the blue. Said I was having a hard day and I could use a blowjob. That was met with...disapproval from her. Not sure why. Seemed kinda Alpha at the time.
Sorry, but I can't believe your H would yell at you for going down on him?!
BJTC seems to be the holy grail around here for some reason. Meh, marking her by coming on her tits works just as well, if not better, for me. Though you're right, there is a highly attractive submissive aspect to it. But I'd say allowing you to fuck her face is pretty damn submissive in its own way.
It's good to have goals, just don't let them grow to distracting proportions. You don't want to be the guy that frames things as: "Waiter, this free steak dinner is missing a side salad!"
Like with the various initiation threads, BJTC threads can be eye opening. The forum is a great litmus test for the real world if you keep in mind that it's self selecting to an extent. There's a thundering herd of highly sexed, highly attracted, red pill FO's on here that won't swallow. If you want to call that a "hang up", that's fine. But it seems to be pretty common.
On a note of male solidarity... Honestly, I'd call it a hang up too. Sometimes I come up from below looking like I've been snorkeling. No comments from me about taste or texture. She loves it, therefore I love it.
“She was 3/4 perfection and 1/4 broken glass.”
@stillasamountain
Gotcha. And you're probably right. I'm placing an unrealistic amount of focus on this one thing when I have all these other great things that a lot of men don't have.
If I need a reality check I just have to think about the barren wasteland of sex and affection that was my first marriage. Uhg
The whole initiating thing can be a bit frustrating, sometimes.
I am naturally very submissive in bed. I have literally told my husband several times my body belongs to him and he is free to use it in any way that brings him pleasure. I have not turned him down in I don't know how many years. I'm crazy attracted to him and very much into sex with him. We have sex 5-8 times a week, on average. I work hard on my girl game and on keeping things interesting for him. I will literally do anything he wants. Yet, just last week, he admitted he is a little bummed out that I don't initiate often enough. For god's sake, WHEN? We have sex practically every day, often multiple times a day! When, exactly, am I supposed to initiate? And that was hours after he had woken me for middle of the night sex and he had finished in my mouth!! *throws hands in the air*
Your complaints are valid, just like my husband is well within his rights to want me to initiate more, but I think that, to a point, it's the man's job, you know? My job is to keep myself green for him, which I do and which it sounds like your wife is doing, too. But that's still not enough, it seems.
The other day, someone on here said "the bull does not wait for the cow to initiate". I thought it summarized it all very well. Please don't think I'm dismissing your complaints or ridiculizing you. It's not at all the case. I just don't know how to fix the issue your wife and I seem to be having.
My wife calls me daddy during sex and if I say something like "I love your pussy" she always corrects me and says "it's daddy's pussy"
That's funny. My wife has always been ok with me waking her up for sex. Didn't think there were too many women like that.
Sounds like your husband is kinda like me. I can't explain why I want this one act when I can have 99.9% of everything else. Maybe it is just being selfish. Maybe, like I said, I just need to get used to taking her and using her when I want like she desires me too.
I am sure some guys are pissed off that I would even complain considering the wife I have. If nothing else this thread has helped open my eyes and be appreciative of what I have
"The bull does not wait for the cow to initiate". I'm gonna put that on a tshirt or at least make that a personal motto to fall back on when beta me tries to kick in
No one has the right to be pissed at you. Everyone his fighting their own battle, big or small.
From where I sit, it sounds like your wife is wanting to be dominated a lot more and, well, you're not delivering on the goods. I need a LOT of dominance to really get going. Maybe it's the same with her? Maybe she isn't really into it because "someone" is slacking on their dominance?
@Redford
No. You're absolutely right. She is very much an alpha red pill woman. Her encouragement of me to be more dominating and alpha ( I told her the story of how my sexless first marriage ended up ) and she really wants me to live up to my potential. She sees this alpha male in me just wanting to get out and has always been very encouraging and supportive.
Like I posted in another thread, my wife used to date beta and fuck alpha. So I know that's what she really likes in bed.
It's taking time to break away from being 100% beta and I have made progress. Just waiting for that day when my SR and game are such that she's so attracted to me that she can't wait to blow me
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ~Andre Gide
"If you love someone, set him free; if you have to stalk him, he probably wasn't yours in the first place."
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ~Andre Gide
"If you love someone, set him free; if you have to stalk him, he probably wasn't yours in the first place."
“She was 3/4 perfection and 1/4 broken glass.”
@KatherineKelly
Ya I kinda felt she misrepresented her sex drive at first. Granted we were only seeing each other 3 times a week and now we live together. So I understand that it's something that'll die down and require work to bring back up
She only made me cum once with no help from me at all. It was the first BJ she have me. She told me she wanted to show me my cum in her mouth but it was so much she had to swallow. So ya, self hi five. Anyway, usually I help out at the end by moving her head for me. But the longest I've ever taken has never been longer than 5 min. She's good.
@stillasamountain
Thanks man. I truly do and I am truly appreciative of it. I think my brain still has trouble wrapping itself around the fact that I have such an awesome wife
Again I know my problems are nothing compared to most people here. I am mainly here to converse and learn my alpha skills. It's the conversation that I enjoy which is why I being up these things that may seem like petty problems to some, but that I just need advice on
“She was 3/4 perfection and 1/4 broken glass.”
maxx I think the only left for you to do is marry a porn star. BJTC sex when ever submissive sex 4 times a week ??! I'm not sure what else you want or expect? Most of us are lucky to get it once a week.
Into Phase 3..
Those Who Dare......Win. "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."Ya I know. The more threads about sex I read, the more I realize I should just STFU and enjoy the woman I have.
See, this thread did work for me! Lol
Thanks to everyone for the reality check
I think she would probably scoff at that and see it as DLV since she has "given me her body". But my whole point is that sometimes I want things done to me, not just use her body as I see fit. Which is awesome don't get me wrong
I think next time during sex I'll do what she suggested and push her/direct her towards my crotch so that she knows what I want. She definitely responds to alpha aggression and dominance in bed and I think that's how I should play it