Kids say the darndest things...

Avalinette

I headed for the loo and my entourage followed me into the bathroom.
Me: Can't I just poop in private?
Miss4: But I want to watch you Mommy, because I love you.

MaterStellie

5 year old at the dinner table.

"Maman, can polices give people money for not driving fast?"


Genius.  

monkeydog

At dinner, dd was talking about her new friend, who's on the football team. 

We were poking fun, asking if he was cute, etc.

#2 son says to her, "ok, on a scale from you to me, how hot is he?"

Purple

7 year old received a rubber band with a paper clip on it AND a sparkly rock with dirt on it from his crush yesterday. He showed me the rock and then said, "I know you want me to throw it outside, but it's from my FRIEND and I can't throw out a present!"

I don't let them keep rocks in the house. But clearly this one has value, so I just winked at him as he protectively slid it back in his pocket.

Beatrice

6yo grandson: "When you die do you want to be buried or cremated?"

Me:  "I'd rather be cremated."

6yo: "Can I use a flamethrower?"

Purple

Kid: "Mom, I want to watch the show with mazangiana in it."
Me: "Um... what?"
Him: "Mozantna?"
Me: "I don't get it"
Him: "Nuhsantag?"
Me: "Seriously... What are you trying to say?!"
Him: "It has a cat in it. He likes... maaaaa saaaaaaag aaaaaanttttt UH"
Me: "..................you mean Garfield?"

Beatrice

Me: "So what do you like to dream about when you're asleep?"

6yo grandson: "I like to dream I'm a stormtrooper and I do special secret jobs for Darth Vadar."

I swear if you met this kid, he wouldn't seem creepy at all, but......

RebuildingHusband

That hippo Christmas song came on in the car this morning while W was driving the boys to school. 

S3 - Momma, I already got a hippopotamus...and I lost it. 

Avalinette

I was going through this thread to save my favourite bits and came across this:

Avalinette said:

The kids saw a movie in which a car slipped on banana skins, so now, whenever I'm driving my 2 year old warns me: 'Careful, careful, nana, slip'

How times have changed...she now exhorts me to to 'Cwash! Cwash!' when we're driving. She'll even get really specific: 'Cwasha white car!' when the car in front of us is white.

Avalinette

This morning Miss 2 climbed onto my chair, put her face right next to mine and said: 'I want to be a dog' 
me: 'Okay, you can be a dog'
Miss 2 'woof'

Purple

Me (joking): "So kids, what did you get me for Christmas?"
7 year old (totally serious): "We didn't get you anything yet, you have to go to the store and pick it out for yourself after Christmas."
"You can pick whatever color you want. Like green. Or pink, I guess. Or green."
"Also, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it has tires."
Me: "Oh gee. I have no idea what it could possibly be. Can I put a horn on it?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Does it have pedals?"
Him: "Yeah. But I won't tell you what it is, Mom, you have to wait until Christmas! Then I'll tell you and then you have to wait to go pick out your own."
Me: "Is it big?"
Him: "Yeah. And you can ride on it."
Me: "It must be a kite."
Him: "ITS NOT A KITE!"
Me: "Oh, well, that was just a guess. Because your hints have been very vague and I wasn't sure."
Him: "Kites don't have pedals, tires, OR horns!"




And yet he doesn't know why I left him out of the Christmas secret for dad. I knew within hours of their shopping trip that I'm getting a bike. H didn't know until he tore the paper off today what he was getting. Because the 5 year old keeps secrets better than his big brother.