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Eyes open, pissed, scared and other updates.

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  • spankyspanky Flying around Silver Member Posts: 2,267
    CartB4Horse said:

    I have fundamentally changed who I am.  I lead now, before I didn't.  I don't ask for sex now, I take it; and when she doesn't want to get pounded I have good, real OI.  Her pussy isn't golden and doesn't give me validation any more.  I want it but I don't need it.

    The actions described here that lead to not needing to get validation and self esteem via your woman is the key to everything.  

    Yep, it's great when the woman you love gives you a doe-eyed "oh honey, that's so great..." look of admiration for a job well done - but then we/men seem to stop looking for it in other places and only focus in on what your woman gives you.  

    When she starts to drip feed you validation after realizing the control you've given her you then start to spiral down the drain because all of the other things that you used to do to get your own validation are gone.  As demands at home and work grow higher we stop dirt bike riding, poker night, working with a friend in their garage at night on their cars, going to the gym, competing, mudrunning, four wheeling, backpacking, 5k runs, and all the other things we used to get our validation before.  We decide to leave our passions behind.  Don't do this.  

    Don't rely on her to get you self worth, your validation - she is not responsible for your self-esteem.  

    livefreeordieAugust_WestBastuna
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155

    Spanky just hit on where I'm at in my MAP right now.  The realization that I gave every thing up for my wife.

    Now I'm sitting there wondering why she doesn't just want to hang out with me.  WTF?  I need to find stuff to do stat.  Gym, here I come!

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

  • dubleyuteaeffdubleyuteaeff East CoastMember Posts: 75

    When I was single I read a lot of pick up material, the one thing that really stuck with me was to "cultivate an awesome life" and the woman would gravitate to you. I did that and they did and I found the one I'm with now, but since I got her I've definitely let myself drop in value.

    My Triage for reference.
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