Slipangle updates and MAP

Slipangle

I think you're overstating the situation. I have 4 debts. 1 mortgage,  2 truck lease, 3 engagement ring and 4 a credit card with $300 on it. The lease has 6 payments remaining.  The ring will be paid off in January. $300 in credit card debt takes me 1 day to earn enough to pay off. After the truck lease ends, I will most likely buy with a payment around 250 per month which is about half my current lease payment. 

The house would be interest free and considerably below market value. Hard to pass up,  not to mention the sentimental value. 

Husband3point0

How many months of housing expenses do you have set aside right now? In savings. 

What other funds can you draw upon should the house need emergency repairs?

When is the tax bill due and have you put away enough in escrow to cover the first year yet?

Are there any liens or other outstanding obligations on the property?

How much will the deed transfer cost and have you paid for that already?

How are you going to get credit for the mortgage, since you're not the one putting the down payment on it?

Etc. 

Slipangle

Husband3point0 said:

How many months of housing expenses do you have set aside right now? In savings. 

SA: none. L has savings, which I state as information only, I know this is an area I need to improve upon.

What other funds can you draw upon should the house need emergency repairs?

SA: I would have to go to L if the need was imminent, but I can DIY anything short of something so big I would need to use an insurance claim. I can free up 1000 within a month or two.

When is the tax bill due and have you put away enough in escrow to cover the first year yet?

SA: summer tax is due sept, winter in March, my escrow is overfunded . If you mean up north, parents still own and are paying the property tax for up to the next year.

Are there any liens or other outstanding obligations on the property?

SA: none

How much will the deed transfer cost and have you paid for that already?

SA: not sure 

How are you going to get credit for the mortgage, since you're not the one putting the down payment on it?

Etc. 

I did mention this is being bought by land contract didn't I? The property has a mobile home probably from the 60's but definitely pre 1978. Nobody would finance that even if I was Warren Buffet (as far as having good credit) so credit rating isn't a consideration.

 The legal benefit I have through work will actually come in handy because it covers a bunch of relevant issues: prenuptial agreements, buying a house, wills.

Husband3point0

Ok. Three months later. Where are you at now finance-wise?

Slipangle

The best I can say is that I am maintaining a balanced budget through the holidays. But as I near the end of the lease on my truck, I have bought a used truck that was a 3 year warranty and payments are 120 less plus my insurance will be $25 cheaper on it. Next month I pay off the engagement ring 3 months ahead of end of the 12 months same as cash due date.

Slipangle

Let's talk medical because I  think there is some sort of problem. 

2 years ago I had been down to 180 lbs. I'm at about 220 now. When my weight was lower I attribute a routine of exercise in the morning and paleo dinners with leftovers for lunch to my success. Since meeting my FO and starting my current job those things have been sidelined. We eat out more and I don't exercise. 

I've had cpap to address some sleep apnea. I am still able to stay awake at work but I do feel tired in the afternoon. It doesn't feel like the cpap is as effective as it once was. 

I've tried some off the shelf supplements to help with some issues. Online quiz/infomercial type things seemed to fit, and these seemed to mitigate the symptoms. What I have tried specifically is a green coffee extract which is supposed to help with digestive enzymes that process starches or stored fats. And I am trying probiotics that are supposed to real ancestors the right kind of bacteria because I'm craving sugars and getting tired...

I don't know if the supplement stuff really does what they say or it's a sales pitch that exaggerates claims. But I get tired in the afternoon and wake in the middle of the night to pee, and I tend to pee frequently if I drink very much of anything - I mean like 5 or 6 times in an hour or so.

And I've been managing ED issues with overseas cialis and 0.5 ml every 5 days of injected testosterone. To my great dismay, it's been pretty marginal this week starting with this weekend when I could've had anal if I was able to get hard.

EANx

What's stopping you from resuming exercise?

Slipangle

EANx said:

What's stopping you from resuming exercise?

Lack of time, space and energy since I started the new job. All of which are concerns, but the energy is the one which I believe is the root of the problem and fixing my energy problem would make more time and I'd be able to keep up better with tasks needed to have space for exercise. 


This morning is an example. Today I  start a break for the holidays for work through January 4. I hope to catch up on the backlog of work straightening up between family things. But until 3 I am home alone with the task of wrapping presents. I got 6 wrapped then crashed for an hour. 

SallyMander

I got 6 wrapped then crashed for an hour.

If you were exercising you'd have more stamina!   

EANx

I hear excuses, not reasons. I don't have time to do 10 minutes of exercises. I don't have space to do push-ups and wall-sits. I don't have the energy to work out.

Get away from the excuses. It's not that you don't have the time or the energy, it's that you choose not to prioritize them. I'm not going to judge you for choosing to not work out but you need to be honest about your desires.

Slipangle

SallyMander said:

If you were exercising you'd have more stamina!   

I know it helps, but crashing after something not that strenuous when I wasn't anywhere near done. I'm wondering if I am having some sort of issues that might be like diabetes or something, I don't know much about it. 

Really I have not been taking the supplements in the last couple weeks. It seemed I was getting diarrhea and gas. Took some yesterday and it seemed to help. 

It could also be I need this week to relax and clear up sources of stress, namely the mess that is everywhere in the house. 

ETA : ya know what, it will be a good chance to start exercise routine again, I  should go start right now when the FO takes her shower. Wait... no, there's a mountain of laundry waiting to be put away that I have to take care of first. This is what I mean by being behind on stuff. 

LadyOrTheTyger

You are never going to find time to exercise.  You have to make time.  Carve 45 minutes out of your schedule 3 or 4 days a week and stick to it unless you're running a fever or have a broken limb.  No.  Matter.  What.  

Slipangle

Would it be possible to have anyone talk about what I actually asked about instead of telling me just to exercise as if I didn't already know that or want to. Lack of exercise never would cause problems I'm having. If that's all I needed, I wouldn't need to ask the Internet to fix my problems. 

I did start some exercise, like 15 minutes treadmill plus dog walking. Intending to add more, I had a Monday Wednesday Friday dumbbell routine I intend to start tomorrow. Still  am getting drowsy though. 

LadyOrTheTyger

Slipangle said:

Would it be possible to have anyone talk about what I actually asked about instead of telling me just to exercise as if I didn't already know that or want to. Lack of exercise never would cause problems I'm having. If that's all I needed, I wouldn't need to ask the Internet to fix my problems. 

Exercise, weight loss, and a routine physical with prostate exam would address your issues.  

EANx

Slipangle said:

Would it be possible to have anyone talk about what I actually asked about instead of telling me just to exercise as if I didn't already know that or want to. Lack of exercise never would cause problems I'm having. If that's all I needed, I wouldn't need to ask the Internet to fix my problems.

You mentioned a couple of issues but didn't actually ask any questions:

Slipangle said:

Let's talk medical because I  think there is some sort of problem. 

2 years ago I had been down to 180 lbs. I'm at about 220 now. When my weight was lower I attribute a routine of exercise in the morning and paleo dinners with leftovers for lunch to my success. Since meeting my FO and starting my current job those things have been sidelined. We eat out more and I don't exercise. 

I've had cpap to address some sleep apnea. I am still able to stay awake at work but I do feel tired in the afternoon. It doesn't feel like the cpap is as effective as it once was. 

And I am trying probiotics that are supposed to real ancestors the right kind of bacteria because I'm craving sugars and getting tired...

And I've been managing ED issues with overseas cialis and 0.5 ml every 5 days of injected testosterone. To my great dismay, it's been pretty marginal this week starting with this weekend when I could've had anal if I was able to get hard.

How long have you had apnea?

You weighed less when you worked out and ate better, you weigh more now that you aren't working out and eating worse. What was the rate of weight gain over the last two years? Even throughout or a significant rise after meeting your GF?

Were you "craving sugars and getting tired" when you worked out and ate Paleo?

My non-expert opinion is that your big problem is the apnea; a lack of sleep screws you up in so many different ways, including hormonal and it often becomes a vicious-cycle. You're tired and your body needs fuel to set certain hormone production off so you go for sugars, which causes weight gain, which reduces your sleep quality, etc. So if your cpap isn't working right, you have all those negative qualities coming back.

I snore and have apnea as well. I recently bought an expensive (but less than a cpap unit) moldable, adjustable  mouth piece that my GF says must be working because she never hears me snore when I use it.

The big three of eating right, some decent exercise and quality sleep will likely fix your issues but a routine exam now and a 3-6 months follow-up after eating right and exercising would be a good idea.

Slipangle

OK, life has been hectic this year and I'm usually typing on my phone, so I get into this habit of not saying as much as I mean to say. I think I have time now to go into detail as I'm home, have the work laptop out, and the kids seem content.

Sleep apnea:

I feel that in this area, I don't really have anything I don't understand. I was diagnosed in the beginning of 2014, so I've been using CPAP for nearly 2 years. In that time I've found that the cleaning routines and replacement mask, tube and water reservoir are important to sleep quality.

Even so, I notice it's not working as well as it was at first. Initially there was an amazing difference, I could be energetic all day on as little as 4 hours sleep. I get 6-7 hours, and have a hard time getting more, but present state I'm having exhaustion problems in the morning around 10 and afternoon after 1.

I do suspect that in terms of sleep quality there's some interaction with my achalasia. About a year and a half ago I had to find a new specialist, last time I was treated before that was in Indiana, and before that I was seeing a GP doc who referred me to U of M hospital system for a specialist - that GP has since passed away and they have not retained records that far back.

Achalasia:

Achalasia is a disorder where the sphincter at the end of the esophagus that opens and closes to allow food to pass into the stomach and keep it from going back out loses function. Treatment is basically that the sphincter is forced permanently open (dilation) with a balloon. I've had to have the procedure repeated around every 5 years or so since the late 90's.

This last time I had the procedure, the new specialist got my records from Indiana. In the past I've had 2 sizes of balloon, and I don't remember the sizes but let's say there's a small size and a large size. The small size is kind of exploratory/diagnostic and stretches things just a little bit. The large size is like wow, you can really stretch it that far? and from my understanding when I started all this treatment at U of M, the specialist wanted me to have the procedure done there because if the esophagus was to tear he could perform the surgical procedure there.

Based on past experience, and I believe this was probably in the medical records from Indiana, the small balloon does nothing and I need the large size.

So this new specialist wanted me to get botox injections with the procedure, which is apparently some new development that helps the muscles stay stretched out once they've been stretched. Sounded like it made sense. Unfortunately after the procedure the specialist explained that he used the small balloon because according to him the large size is no longer made. I don't buy that at all because I cursory search on the internet seems to show recent medical papers using sizes in the range of the large size.

Unfortunately I haven't taken any opportunity to pursue any of this further. I have a lingering medical bill issue because the job I had at the time had the worst medical insurance in history, and they won't pay the hospital because they claim they don't pay hospitals - oddly enough they paid the radiology. I have seen that my GP doctor was able to get paid by this crappy insurance, and he did it by resubmitting over and over until they paid - about 12 attempts. The hospital instead gave up and went to collections on me. Long story told way too short, I'm handling it, I am not looking for feedback unless anyone wants to just gift me with $4000.

Achalasia and sleep quality:

Where this comes in, if I eat before sleep it stimiluates saliva and I can wake up choking on it. If I sleep other than on my right side I can get backflow I can wake up choking on. If I sleep sitting up my head can flop over and I can wake up choking on saliva...

I don't know if I can explain the whole problem properly, but it's also an upper motility issue where the esophagus usually moves food along to the stomach, I've gotten used to it but sometimes when the opening at the end of the esophagus has gotten smaller and I need the procedure again, I need to swallow hard with my tongue to force food and drink to go down.

The procedure didn't improve my condition, it might have slowed the process of it getting worth.

At any rate, I might be in a state where I have something of an airflow restriction. That's somewhat non-medical-professional engineering speculation backed with some reading that sounds like it might be the case from what I've read on the internet.

Slipangle

continued:

Paleo diet:

When I first read MMSLP in 2012 I changed to a paleo type diet avoiding grains and dairy. It made a lot of difference in energy and weight gain. I try to stick with it as much as possible, breakfast I always just have 3 eggs aside from travel for work where I regularly am at a particular hotel that uses crappy powdered eggs or something that make me queasy. Lunch used to be leftovers from dinner but often I go to Wendy's now because I can walk there from work and traffic for anywhere else is bad. Dinner these days due to the schedule is often eating out somewhere, almost always better than fast food level like Panera or a coney island type place. I don't end up with leftovers, and basically it means bread is back in my diet.

Dinner has become complicated because of children. It's always been a matter of my son needing something different because he's 10 and around 3 he was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, so he has texture issues and is very particular - I think being viewed that ways for 7 years is significant for having reinforced the view - long story short he lives primarily on red baron pizza and fruit. My daughter used to share whatever I ate, but has developed a favoring for pasta.

When I say children have complicated meals, I also have to bring the FO's child into the picture. She has a completely separate picky set of food requirements. FO will eat pretty much anything I'd eat, so with everybody here I have 1 set of menu requirements for the adults now, pasta for my daughter, pizza for my son, and something often with nuttella for my FO's daughter - 5 people with 4 different meals. I used to have just 2 different meals to fix for up to 3 people.

Dishes pile up faster now and dinner is a longer process. This is complicated by my kitchen where I have 4' of counter space. As part of my plans this year, the first floor layout is being reworked so I can move the kitchen somewhere I can have more counter space.

Long story short, cooking complicated paleo recipes has become impractical and the closest I come now is to just grill chicken or pork chops with barbeque sauce or steak.

Scheduling:

Schedule is another part of the story. Twice a week I'm taking my son to tutoring for math, I usually get up at 5:30 and get the kids out the door for school at 7:30 then I'm at work until I pick them up and get home at 6 PM, same schedule for FO. On tutoring days we leave immediately after he has a quick pizza to get him to tutoring at 6:30 where he is until 8:30, we eat out during that.

Part 2 of schedule is that before I had my 2 kids on 50/50 custody where I had every Monday-Tuesday, then alternating weekends Friday-Sunday. So in a 2 week schedule I had 5 kid-free days. With FO in my life there are less kid-free days because she has 50/50 custody but her schedule is alternating weeks with exchanges on Sundays. Also on FO's ex-husband's Saturday he almost always has to work, so we have her daughter on Saturdays we otherwise wouldn't. Bottom line, I now have 2 kid-free days.

Weight history:

At my best I got down to 175 lbs, 180-185 seemed a reasonably stable point and I was probably around 185 if I recall when I met my FO. She was around 150. I'm at 225 now and I believe she's around 180. We're absolutely comfortable with each other, and it hasn't interfered with our attraction, but I think we both have a healthy perspective that for our health we need to make some changes.

Workouts:

My routine was 10-15 minutes treadmill every day in the morning followed by a dumbbell routine I found in muscle fitness online that I do 3 days a week using 15-20 lb. dumbells. I never felt like it was a top contributor to what I did, it wasn't something I always kept up on. I'd say it was part of when I was at the 175 range, but not essential to staying at 185.

Supplements:

I suspect that there's got to be a deeper root cause behind the sleepiness problem, the weight gain, waking up in the middle of the night to pee, maybe even the ED troubles. I used to have a primarily dairy and pasta diet without any of these problems.

Questions:

Could this be something along the lines of diabetes is one thing I'm wondering. And another is if anyone else has any experience with the supplements I'm trying, or any alternate ideas that might not have the frequent pooping issues I'm having with the supplements - or could it just be a matter of experimenting with how much I'm taking?

Slipangle

Draft post started 3 months ago...

Geez, raising this from the dead after 9 months. Now we're married. Our weight has gone up, but the priority right now is nest building stuff. Need a kitchen with more than 3 lineal feet of cabinet space. We have the cabinets,  but I need to strip lath and plaster, rewire run plumbing, insulate, move windows, tile. Then I'll build a second bathroom. Hoping to have all that done by spring so I have time to build a garage next summer. 

Anyway, we also got another dog. He likes to eat underwear. So that brings me to the point. .. I just wanted to express my appreciation for the fact left to her own choices she'd wear stuff like bikini style panties that cover her ass, but I buy her g strings and she wears them and I love seeing her ass in them

Slipangle

Current update, kitchen is mostly done, except I have to move my electric service entrance before finally inspection on my permit and that's a problem I haven't figured out yet. Going to Hawaii for our honeymoon in January .