On Parlaying Duty Sex...

codename_duchess

@Athol_Kay I can't see much benefit of the video over the audio and ripping them into audio means that I can listen whilst I drive, mow the lawn, go for a walk - all things that I can't do with a video. It's also a smaller download.
Personally I'm an avid reader, but I know a lot of people who won't read a book that will watch a video instead. That's why Hollywood does so well

RedPillRon

Athol_Kay said:

MiddleMan said:

I've bought the videos, but it's tough finding the time alone to watch them. My best time is when I'm commuting on the train, but Vimeo's iPad app isn't very good. I often experience trouble viewing the videos I downloaded. 

It been interesting to Jen and myself that most people seem to be listening to the videos as a de facto audio audiobook.

Guilty as charged! I had a bear of a time watching the videos without streaming them. Downloading them to view later was a waste of time on the iPhone. Re recording them into audio worked way better.

Athol_Kay

codename_duchess said:

@Athol_Kay I can't see much benefit of the video over the audio and ripping them into audio means that I can listen whilst I drive, mow the lawn, go for a walk - all things that I can't do with a video. It's also a smaller download.
Personally I'm an avid reader, but I know a lot of people who won't read a book that will watch a video instead. That's why Hollywood does so well

The biggest issue with an audio book, is that it has to be an audio book.

Even if each part of the video series was a short 40,000 word book. The entire thing would be twice as long as the Primer, which was huge.

codename_duchess

Athol_Kay said:

The biggest issue with an audio book, is that it has to be an audio book.

Even if each part of the video series was a short 40,000 word book. The entire thing would be twice as long as the Primer, which was huge.

I honestly think that if you had an option (on Vimeo) as audio only (of the videos) you'd be surprised at how much it would be downloaded. Even as another option like video quality e.g. HD/SD/Audio. The only thing that I'd ask is to trim the silence from the beginning and end of the sections where the captions are.
I don't think that it needs to be a book and a whole new thing, just make the existing content a little more flexible.
It's your thing so do what you want, just offering feedback on what works for me. In the meantime it'll keep me going until you write the book  

Serenity

That's how Ron and I have been 'watching' the videos. He listens to them on his phone in the car on his way to work (for the most part), and I listen/watch them on the phone while I'm outside or moving around the house.

Sometimes we'll watch a part of an episode together in the evenings, but we have very little free time, so most of the time we use them as audiobooks. 

Athol_Kay said:

MiddleMan said:

I've bought the videos, but it's tough finding the time alone to watch them. My best time is when I'm commuting on the train, but Vimeo's iPad app isn't very good. I often experience trouble viewing the videos I downloaded. 

It been interesting to Jen and myself that most people seem to be listening to the videos as a de facto audio audiobook.

Blackwulf

I am another one who has just listened to them on my commute to work.  Good private time to listen and think.   

HildaCorners

I do have the time. I'll also do something else while watching the videos. And I took copious notes on some of the videos (the 6 brands of ... ones).

If I'm doing something else, I'll lose my focus on the words. That's why I took notes ,,, the act of writing down the "lecture" cemented the ideas in my brain. Taking notes is how I learn best. [For material like this — for other material I have to actually make the product I'm reading/watching about.]

The best way for me to learn would be an action-based workbook, but this would be far too much additional work for Athol right now. So I take the material as presented, and stretch my brain to learn in that style.

I downloaded the videos because I know I'll need to watch them again. And again.

Athol_Kay

codename_duchess said:

Athol_Kay said:

The biggest issue with an audio book, is that it has to be an audio book.

Even if each part of the video series was a short 40,000 word book. The entire thing would be twice as long as the Primer, which was huge.

I honestly think that if you had an option (on Vimeo) as audio only (of the videos) you'd be surprised at how much it would be downloaded. Even as another option like video quality e.g. HD/SD/Audio. The only thing that I'd ask is to trim the silence from the beginning and end of the sections where the captions are.
I don't think that it needs to be a book and a whole new thing, just make the existing content a little more flexible.
It's your thing so do what you want, just offering feedback on what works for me. In the meantime it'll keep me going until you write the book  

It needs to be a  "book" per Amazon and Apple.

Scarlet

I tend to play it on my computer while I go about housework.  

Husband3point0

What was this thread about again?

[Same time again tomorrow works for me btw ...]

RebuildingHusband

Husband3point0 said:

What was this thread about again?

[Same time again tomorrow works for me btw ...]

Off-topic every one of them. I dare you. 

Tennee

@RebuildingHusband ;  Don't think it didn't cross my evil mind....

what was that about poking the bear again? 

LadyOrTheTyger

Ms_Fit said:

My H also listens in the car. We see it more like a 'podcast' than an 'audiobook'. 

That's what I was thinking.  I subscribe to a couple of pay podcasts and didn't know if that was a feasible option.

Husband3point0

RebuildingHusband said:

Husband3point0 said:

What was this thread about again?

[Same time again tomorrow works for me btw ...]

Off-topic every one of them. I dare you. 

That's a great depiction of the difference between Manosphere 'alpha' and Athol's spin on it. 

Be a little snarky, but don't be a dick about it. 

MiddleMan

Athol_Kay said:

MiddleMan said:

I've bought the videos, but it's tough finding the time alone to watch them. My best time is when I'm commuting on the train, but Vimeo's iPad app isn't very good. I often experience trouble viewing the videos I downloaded. 

It been interesting to Jen and myself that most people seem to be listening to the videos as a de facto audio audiobook.

I'll have to figure out how to do that. 

UnBetaMe

Katt said:

Angeline said:

And if she then didn't do more than lay there, it might be a naive lack of understanding that she needs to bring some game to the party, thus the advice to very directly state what you want her to do. Don't ask, tell her.

^^^^^^^^ Yes.

From the puberty years on, one of the prevailing messages about guys and sex that females get is that guys just want somewhere to stick their cock.   That women care about foreplay and details but men just care about fucking.    I think the idea that we have to actually do something other than provide that somewhere to insert your cock to make sex good for you is pretty foreign to many women.  

So that's where the concept of you explicitly directing her during sex comes into play.   I think guys often underestimate the necessity of teaching your woman what pleases you during sex.   You don't have to be all uber dominant if that's not where you are yet, but you do have to be direct and deliver your instructions with some authority. Asking and even tentative telling is going to be a turn off.  

Pardon me for brining this thread back on topic. However, I have to agree with @katt and @angeline in my case. I do need to be more vocal and direct in what I want. I was just getting good at STFU about sex and now I have to talk.
If you have been following my Baby Steps to Boundary Pushing thread, it is essentially about me learning to be more confident and verbal in bed with respect to pushing for what I want. 
As you can read there, it has been very difficult  and painfully slow for me to get out of my own way and implement some dominance, emotion and immersion.
And while it would be easy for me to blame my issues on my wife's ignorance, I've had over a decade to show her what I want and earn the right to receive it from her and I haven't done that as well as I need to.

I'll move the rest of this over to the Baby Steps thread as it has now become relevant there for me.

PS - I would prefer a podcast format as well.

SignorePillolaRossa

+1 for audio book format ... long commute here

IrishGypsy

I know this is a year-old bump, but I've had a few lightbulb moments reading through all 11 pages and it's topics like this that I feel can really improve things (such as recognising and appreciating yellow/blue sex for what it is - rather than for what it isn't). So I really appreciate the insights. 

Oh, and back on topic - audio books would help me too (not so easy to watch the videos whilst my wife is around)! 

Angeline

Lol @ you guys - yellow, blue, orange. Subsection 1a. 

Red. Yellow. Green. That's it. The rest needlessly complicates a very simple tool. 

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/09/the-red-yellow-green-sexual-communication-tool/

A careful read of the first few paragraphs covers many of the questions in this thread, and correct many of the misinterpretations.

IrishGypsy

@Angeline it wasn't so much the traffic light system, more the appreciation of my wife being open to satisfy me with maintaince sex and that I should always make the most of it (as we've thankfully never, ever had 'cadaver/starfish sex).