High previous partner count lowers female satisfaction with marriage - but not male

Frank_LondonFrank_London in transitSilver Member Posts: 1,853
edited August 2014 in Off Topic

According to the National Marriage Project - a research project at the University of Virginia - the more previous partners a wife has had, then the less her marital satisfaction, on average.

But they also found that male satisfaction with marriage didn't seem to follow this rule.

According to  new research by the National Marriage Project, more than half of married women who had only ever slept with their future husband felt highly satisfied in their marriage.

But that percentage dropped to 42 per cent once the woman had had pre-marital sex with at least two partners. It dropped to 22 per cent for those with ten or more partners.But, for men, the number of partners a man they appeared to have no bearing on how satisfied they felt within a marriage.


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  • Frank_LondonFrank_London in transitSilver Member Posts: 1,853
    edited August 2014
    More from the project site itself:

    The report makes three key points:

    1 – What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. In other words, past relationship experiences—and their consequences—are linked to future marital quality. For instance, men and women who had a child before marriage are less likely to enjoy a high-quality marriage. 2 – Sliding versus deciding. Couples who make intentional decisions regarding “major relationship transitions” are more likely to flourish than those who slide through transitions. For instance, among those who cohabited, couples who decided to live together before marriage in an intentional way are more likely to enjoy happy marriages, compared to couples who just slid into cohabitation before marriage. 3 – The Big Fat Greek Wedding Factor. Americans who had more guests at their nuptials are more likely to report high-quality marriages than those with a small wedding party, even after controlling for their education and income.

  • KattKatt USASilver Member Posts: 4,554

    Me too.   A lot of couples I know who had big lavish affairs were more concerned with the wedding celebration than with their actual marriage.   


    growingafamily
  • growingafamilygrowingafamily chicagoSilver Member Posts: 1,841
    Yeah I had a pretty downplayed wedding. Not like elopement or anything, but small-ish and quiet, and pretty sure very few people are more satisfied than I am ;)

    I wonder though if there's a connection with rushing to get married due to pregnancy, and throwing together a last-minute wedding. I suppose that could cause a correlation but isn't taking several other factors into account.

    JellyBeanKatt
  • PersephonePersephone Northeast USSilver Member Posts: 565

    re: the study. As always, I disagree with their findings. The more I think about it, though, the more it occurs to me: these unhappy, high n women chose poorly. If you've been fucking alpha guys for the last few decades, why would you even think you could be happy with some beta??

    I'm a high-n woman. I dated alphas and then picked the one with the most beta potential.

    Seems like the best course of action... js.


    BourneAgain[Deleted User]WinterTennee
  • Frank_LondonFrank_London in transitSilver Member Posts: 1,853

    @katt lol, I'm gonna start calling it 'male solipsism'. They want virgins who give head like the woman with the grapefruit, makes no sense whatsoever.


    The study says that the high n-women are themselves less satisfied on average and as a group. .... it did not say that they don't satisfy the husbands or that they are inferior wives. They may in fact be better wives.

    [Deleted User]Tennee
  • KattKatt USASilver Member Posts: 4,554
    edited August 2014

    @katt lol, I'm gonna start calling it 'male solipsism'. They want virgins who give head like the woman with the grapefruit, makes no sense whatsoever.


    The study says that the high n-women are themselves less satisfied on average and as a group. .... it did not say that they don't satisfy the husbands or that they are inferior wives. They may in fact be better wives.

    Do you not think a woman being consciously dissatisfied with their marriage likely affects her, for lack of a better word, performance as a wife?  If she's unhappy with her husband, that probably spills over into her interactions with him in most cases.   Not to mention that I would expect a dissatisfied wife to be more likely to seek out satisfaction outside of the marriage.

    LL80TPoke
  • ffp20ffp20 upstate nySilver Member Posts: 224

    re: the study. As always, I disagree with their findings. The more I think about it, though, the more it occurs to me: these unhappy, high n women chose poorly. If you've been fucking alpha guys for the last few decades, why would you even think you could be happy with some beta??

    I'm a high-n woman. I dated alphas and then picked the one with the most beta potential.

    Seems like the best course of action... js.

    Are you haaaaapppppy? If so...congrats to you.


  • longnecklongneck Silver Member Posts: 389
    Athol_Kay said:

    If a guy isn't married, the three date rule is in his interest.

    If a guy is married, the wife being n=1 is in his interest.

    Thus there is no conflict between the two, because both are in his interest.

    The women obviously come from a suburb in Narnia.


    The current sexual marketplace is fairly brutal. 

    Since we are using market terms, the concept is called opportunity cost. A woman must decide which market she wants to participate it. If she wants to screw the players, she needs to know that she is damaging her prospects with the guys who would marry her. That may not be fair, but that is reality.

    Society is telling them that being a slut is just fine, but that isn't the case.

    OneEyedDrunkTPokePaleoDad
  • PersephonePersephone Northeast USSilver Member Posts: 565
     
    ffp20 said: Are you haaaaapppppy? If so...congrats to you.


    @ffp20, Yeah, I think we are. :)

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