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According to the National Marriage Project - a research project at the University of Virginia - the more previous partners a wife has had, then the less her marital satisfaction, on average.
But they also found that male satisfaction with marriage didn't seem to follow this rule.
According to new research by the National Marriage Project, more than half of married women who had only ever slept with their future husband felt highly satisfied in their marriage.
But that percentage dropped to 42 per cent once the woman had had pre-marital sex with at least two partners. It dropped to 22 per cent for those with ten or more partners.But, for men, the number of partners a man they appeared to have no bearing on how satisfied they felt within a marriage.
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Me too. A lot of couples I know who had big lavish affairs were more concerned with the wedding celebration than with their actual marriage.
We lived together for a year with the intention of waiting to get married until my wife finished college. Then when she had about a year of college left we decided we would sneak off to another state and get married just for us, never tell anyone, and we would have a small traditional wedding for friends and family later on after she graduated. Then with about 8 months of school left she got pregnant with our daughter, and it turned out to be easier to just tell everyone we were already married. The grandparents were all very pissed, but we knew they'd get over it by the time the baby arrived. Every wedding we've been to since then, we've joked about how much easier ours was to plan.
I'm not sure how that stacks up against the control group of happily married Big Wedding Havers, but she sure was cute waddling across the stage to get her diploma 8 months pregnant.
ETA: I've always considered it a huge blessing that we got "secretly" married just months before she got pregnant. Would have been a whole different ballgame for both of us emotionally if we'd had to make a marriage decision after the fact.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy, if not, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
Perhaps those with big weddings are more likely to have an involved family and community, and therefore a better support system.
And therein lies one if the issues discussed in the other thread with the "3 date" sex deadline (not picking on you here, Frank, I've seen 3 dates as the magic number in many cases, and you are as entitled to your criteria as anyone ). I wasn't even quite 20 yet when I met my now-husband, but I had been on third (or more) dates with several men (who I did not sleep with - have only slept with Mr. Katt). A woman who doesn't meet a guy they settle down with until mid-20s or later will likely rack up a pretty high partner count by the time she meets her husband if she has sex on the third date generally. I'm just saying, a girl in the dating market these days can't seem to win and I really empathize with what a predicament they are in. If they don't put out, they're a prude to be nexted, if they do they are "easy" and not good marriage material and now we are suggesting they won't be satisfied when they are married. God forbid I ever had to date again; I wouldn't know WTF to do.
@katt lol, I'm gonna start calling it 'male solipsism'. They want virgins who give head like the woman with the grapefruit, makes no sense whatsoever.
re: the study. As always, I disagree with their findings. The more I think about it, though, the more it occurs to me: these unhappy, high n women chose poorly. If you've been fucking alpha guys for the last few decades, why would you even think you could be happy with some beta??
I'm a high-n woman. I dated alphas and then picked the one with the most beta potential.
Seems like the best course of action... js.
The study says that the high n-women are themselves less satisfied on average and as a group. .... it did not say that they don't satisfy the husbands or that they are inferior wives. They may in fact be better wives.
This one doesn't surprise me at all.
It's about intentionality and the public nature of commitment. if you intentionally, publicly commit to a course of action then you are more committed to it than if you bumble into it and do it privately.
Be intentional in your choices. Consciously, publicly commiting to your course of action is a way to make your choice more likely to succeed.
Do you not think a woman being consciously dissatisfied with their marriage likely affects her, for lack of a better word, performance as a wife? If she's unhappy with her husband, that probably spills over into her interactions with him in most cases. Not to mention that I would expect a dissatisfied wife to be more likely to seek out satisfaction outside of the marriage.
That's fine, but katt's post referred to the available stores of low n women. Her point was, on one hand, red pill guys have a three date rule for sex. On the other hand, these same guys don't want to settle down with high n women.
So... where are all these low n women supposed to come from???
Unicorns? No good ever comes of these discussions...
It doesn't matter, because if you're high n you can solve the situation, apparently, by having a big, lavish wedding with lots of guests.
You have to start understanding that a decent portion of the Red Pill stuff is an ideology designed to advantage men, over women, in any given situation.
If a guy isn't married, the three date rule is in his interest.
If a guy is married, the wife being n=1 is in his interest.
Thus there is no conflict between the two, because both are in his interest.
The women obviously come from a suburb in Narnia.
The current sexual marketplace is fairly brutal.
One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force. He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
Worth noting: The sample size for this study was pretty small. 418 couples. I think my wife's Facebook page would provide a larger sample size.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy, if not, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
The issue is that there are two completely separate Sexual Marketplaces overlapping each other. One is the short-term / hookup market, and the other is the long-term / marriage market. Both have different buyers and sellers, but everything is taking place in the same room and there's an awful lot of confused signaling between everyone as to what they are actually shopping for.
One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force. He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
Since we are using market terms, the concept is called opportunity cost. A woman must decide which market she wants to participate it. If she wants to screw the players, she needs to know that she is damaging her prospects with the guys who would marry her. That may not be fair, but that is reality.
Society is telling them that being a slut is just fine, but that isn't the case.
@ffp20, Yeah, I think we are.