I've made a hot wife

champagnekev

I'm really doubt if this is within the boundaries of normal, but i encouraged my wife to have sex with another (random ) man out with our marriage. I can honestly say that i am not jealous or concerned that she will leave. I, like most men, got a thrill from knowing that my wife was desirable to other men, i encouraged her. We spoke about how the thought was exciting for both of us and then i told her that it would be ok with me to turn it to reality. 
So last night she did.
I don't know how a feel about it, i should be feeling something but nothing really. Its not as much of a turn on as i hoped, its not caused any fear or resentment. 
any thoughts or advice from guys who have had similar experiences would be gratefully received. does it matter that i'm not feeling anything either way?

champagnekev

I maybe should have explained better, my better half is away for the weekend and isn't back till Tuesday, so there has been no meaningful dialogue between us since she left, just a few phone calls and text messages. She is meeting the same guy again tonight, for drinks etc. I have an odd sensation whenever i think about it, not regret or excitement, but something.
We will talk about it on Tuesday and see what comes next.

Friz

I love the fact that my wife is attractive and I know that other men notice her. While it is a turn on to think of her with another, some things need to remain a fantasy.

champagnekev

Quite possibly, but we need to follow the odd fantasy here and there. We would still be cave dwellers otherwise. But this may have been a step too far

Kickboxer

So your wife is off on a roadtrip screwing another man and you don't know how you feel about it?

You told her it was OK to have sex with other men and she is already seeing an extra man for drinks.  How did she meet this guy?  How long have they known each other?  Are you getting a seat to watch the affair that ends your marriage?

HildaCorners

You're going to get more negative feedback — this is a pro-monogamy forum.

For good reasons ... open marriages/polyamory/hot spouses almost never work well for the couple. Unless the husband is a very strong Alpha, and his wife is 100% committed to him and the marriage, she's very likely to jump ship (emotionally or completely) for the outside man.

This is a case of contradictions — the more tightly a woman is bound to her husband, the more likely an open marriage will last. The successful open marriages I know about have an element of BDSM in them.

But most men who "allow" their wives to screw another man are coming from a Beta position. They see themselves as weak, and by giving their wife permission to cheat, they feel she will be grateful. Women don't work that way ... we go for the most powerful man we can find.* And if our husbands give us permission to find a better man, there's a good chance we will.

champagnekev, please get a copy of Athol's Married Man Sex Life Primer. You need to understand why opening a marriage is virtually identical to ending one. The book, and this forum, can help get you started on repairing the damage.


* In some cases, women cheat with losers ... but even then, the loser is strong in one trait where the husband is failing.

SignorePillolaRossa

no matter how you wrapped it up, when you unpack it, you taught her that you don't value her enough to posess her exclusively ... a good woman wants a strong man to posess and protect and provide for her

i hope you find what you are looking for

champagnekev

thanks for the feed back folks, i wasn't expecting pats on the back. The one thing that i will add is that i have known my wife since school, together for 18years and married 14, there is no way that this will endanger our marriage. There is more than a hint of the Alpha in me and i decide what happens to our marriage, but if a man is too Alpha, then she doesnt have room to breath. Men must make room in there life for their partners to make choices and life their life.

Katt

champagnekev said:

 i have known my wife since school, together for 18years and married 14, there is no way that this will endanger our marriage. 

Famous last words.

Letting another man fuck your wife has already endangered your marriage.  

Monkeys_Uncle

Unless you are trying got stop her behavior, you need to find another forum to discuss these issues.   The model for marriage that informs the advice given on this forum does not work in open marriages.   There are no metrics employed here that lead to your position being a reasonable one.

If you are committed to the idea that your wife sleeping with other men does not endanger your marriage in any way, there's not much else to discuss.

BrianC

I am calling this one a troll, people.  @champagnekev‌,if you are legitimately on here for advice, you have come to the wrong forum.  I recommend trying a swinger's site.

Banned.

Serenity

Great blog post on the topic.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2010/11/the-hot-wife-fantasy/