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Newb Just getting started!!! LF Guidance Info anything really.

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  • AngelineAngeline planting seedsCategory Moderator** Posts: 14,500
    Talking about suicide here, even casually, is beyond the ability of what we can help with here on an anonymous forum. If you are having suicidal thoughts, pleaee call a hotline and let them help you.
    US: 1-800-273-8255
    UK: 08457 90 90 90



    "Speak your truth." - Scarlet
    Remember to play!
    Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
    Be married, until you are not.

    Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
    Maria
  • Frank_LondonFrank_London in transitSilver Member Posts: 1,853
    edited November 2014

    1. Toys and lingerie: you need to get over the fixation on sex toys and lingerie. she doesn't like it. She doesn't want to do that stuff.
    She might, once the attraction increases.

    2, STFU with long, pointless arguments. That long text-message argument was too much talking on your part. This is a common trap for men. Don't get sucked into these long arguments. Around here we call it STFU (shut the fuck up). You needed to STFU after about the fourth message.

    3. Stop talking about sex. Pretty much the number one rule is to stop talking about sex. Stop complaining about it. Stop sulking about not getting it. By the way, that's why people are asking if you read the books, because this is a very important point.

    Her attraction to you. The bottom line is that your wife isn't attracted enough right now to want more sex, or to want more wild sex. That's not her fault. she can't help it.

    What's nerfing her attraction? If I had to guess, I'd say it's the following:
    - trying to talk her into sex
    - complaining about lack of sex
    - complaining about her housework, parenting etc.

    In other words, the thing that's holding you back is the way you interact with her.
    [Deleted User]WhereWasIMaria
  • WhereWasIWhereWasI USASilver Member Posts: 180
    Your wife had expressed she wants sex and enjoys it.  I went through the same giving  if the subject you are going through and outs only a turn off and makes it worse. Listen carefully and she will give you clues about the better man she wants you to brr so you can get both have better sex.  My wife was giving me clues for years but I ignored  because they didn't directly involve sex.    I'm still digging myself out, but at least I know there is an upside now. 
  • _io_io Silver Member Posts: 1,821
    @TheBob13602‌, how's your MAP going?  Have you pinpointed any areas you need to work on or capitalize on?
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