Giving myself a makeover... Any tips?

Forest

When I got married two years ago, I apparently took that as a sign that I no longer needed to worry about attracting men. The problem is that it got to the point where I wasn't trying to attract ANY man, including my husband. So while my husband stepped up his game after we got married, I get proud of myself if I brush my teeth. I'm tired of being embarrassed of myself and for my husband when we see people he knows when we are out so I think it's about time I get back on top of my game. 

So far, I've:
- Had face framing layers cut into my hair
- Been waxed and eyebrows threaded
- New makeup from Ulta
- Got fitted and ordered new jeans (tight with a slim bootcut)
- Bought various fitted V-cut long sleeved t-shirts
- Got a light tan
- Nails are painted

I'm still going to get:
- Highlights in my hair
- Contacts
- Push-up Bra
- Heels/Boots/Wedges
- New Purse
- Perfume

- Teeth Whitened

I lost a little bit of weight so I am the size that I was when we got married so I'm good body-wise. My husband seems apprehensive about all of these changes. He hasn't peeped one word about my declining appearance, but he has raised a few eyebrows about me getting back into this beauty stuff again. He seems to be warming up to it though, especially after I got my tan. 

Is there anything you all can think of that I should do that I've left out? It's been such a long time since I've made an effort and it can be hard to remember all of the beauty stuff I used to do. 

Olddog

Find some nice dresses and upgrade the everyday underwear to lingerie. Is he a foot man? Pedicure?

And sex him up, he'll be worried all the improvements are not for him

Welcome!

Do you have an intro or triage?

Forest

Thank you for that! I completely forgot about underwear. I'll probably look into Hanky Panky thongs for daily wear since I've heard a lot of good things about them. I'm not really into dresses (I feel like I'm too exposed and the creepy stares I get can be too much at times) but my husband is in love with them so you're right, I need to buy some. 

He is a foot man and my feet are pedicured but maybe I should get heeled sandals or something to show them off more but it's already fall...

Thank you! No, I don't. Where should I go to do that?

And yes of course I will be giving him extra attention

Olddog

Never tried that brand of thong, good? Usually not a fan of thongs (thankfully SO isn't either). Take hubby shopping to pick out your new ones

Dresses can be a fun alternative in the right circumstances.

Nice pair of shoes for the bedroom possibly?

Just put an intro here then (Here's the triage questions.)

Forest

Yes I've tried similar pairs and they're surprisingly comfortable. I will.

I think I feel uncomfortable with the attention and worry that I look like I tried too hard. For some reason looking like I tried too hard is my biggest concern. 

Good idea!

Thank you for posting the questions. My husband and I are in our early 20's, we've been together since I was 14. We were long distance in seperate states for the first 4 years and I did online schooling so I could visit him. We got married the moment I turned 18. Our relationship had been very fairytale up until that point (we even got married in a rainforest in Costa Rica!) but after the wedding my husband quit his job to seriously pursue two degrees. We were planning on me being a SAHM during this time but decided to wait. I've worked on and off for the past two years and I'm enrolling in college next semester. He's been increasingly busy (often leaving at 7:30am and coming home anywhere from 12-2am) and we've been struggling and trying to keep close. Right now I've been focusing on getting myself together and he's been cutting down his hours at school. Sex is improving; I shut down immediately if we aren't connecting emotionally so we have been working on it. Searching for marriage advice is how I found this forum

Forest

Oh, I should add that I'm the high-maintenance princess type and am working on getting past it (hence why I'm going to college rather than expecting to be taken care of). As to my husband before the wedding he worked 50hrs a week as well as going to school for almost three years to pay for the wedding as well as the nose job I wanted. After we got married he got very secure in our relationship, to the point where he started to ignore me periodically. He started showing anger towards me (something he never did previously) and generally got tired of my attitude. I've been working on my entitlement and he's been trying to pay more attention to me despite how busy he is. 

Maria

Hi!
I second wearing dresses and skirts!

They don't have to be revealing.
You could start with sweater dresses or longshirty pseudodresses over leggins. If you wear low-heeled boots you're pretty much covered up - and still emphasizing your femininity.


(The stiletto boots are not mandatory )

What about a knee-lenght denim skirt? Again it's not overtly sexy, but feminine.
You can wear it classy...

 


casual...

    


or sporty:


    

HildaCorners

You should also read Athol's Mindful Attraction Plan ... there's more to being attractive than just the physical aspects, and you'll want to work on  that too.

Not being an entitlement princess is important.

Welcpme!

Pirouette

@maria, love the skirt in the second pic. Where's that one from?

@forest, welcome! Sounds like you're off to a good start with your girl game! What are you majoring in school? 

Maria

@Pirouette,
I found it on Pinterest - denim skirt was the search phrase. Didn't say what brand.
http://www.pinterest.com/explore/denim-skirt-outfits/

Serenity

Hi @Forest and welcome. 

It's good to improve your appearance, but that's only part of your Map.


Have you read the MAP book, yet?



A few blog posts you might find helpful.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/08/getting-through-to-the-lazy-bear-husband/

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/04/there-is-no-female-action-plan/

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/02/how-to-fair-warning-a-husband-that-doesnt-listen-before-things-are-too-late-to-fix/

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/11/beta-orbiting-wives-laid-maid-and-trayed/

Mongrel

"The stiletto boots are not mandatory". I disagree.

re: wearing dresses. If you're concerned about getting leering looks from others I'd only wear them when you're going somewhere with hubby that he will be with you. That feeling of protection you get from your guy should overwrite any stares from strangers. Let 'em look; your his woman.

If my W wore dresses when we went out I'd walk an inch taller, I can tell you.

HopeAndHardWork

You might want to also think about getting your colors done before you buy a lot of new clothes and makeup.  Not terribly cheap, but you only have to do it once.  You get a small book of custom colors that fits in your purse so you can easily match up any clothes or accessories that you're looking at buying in a store.  Once you know your colors, you can also buy a custom make up list that is specific for you so you don't have to guess which colors will flatter you.  It saves a ton of time and money.

Here's a good website that does a summary of the 12 different color pallets and also sells the make up lists:
http://www.truth-is-beauty.com

I don't know where you live but here's a couple of websites that list color consultants by area (this is for Canada, U.S.A. and some European countries):
http://www.12blueprints.com/12b-analyst-directory/
http://yournaturaldesign.com/analyst-directory/

This one is for Australia:
http://www.truecolour.com.au/main/page_contact_.html
*this company also sells color cubes that are custom matched to your personal pallet.  

Each color square in the cube is 2" x 2" and is a little easier to match with than the smaller color fans that usually come with most color consultation packages.  I have one in my personal color pallet and it's awesome.  I can take any colors I want off of the binder ring and lay them out to mix and match.  It helps me find new color combinations for my clothes and jewelry. 

I've gotten tons of compliments since I started to dress and wear makeup that is consistent with my most flattering colors.  My husband has also been upgrading his wardrobe according to his color pallet and gotten more respect and opportunities at work than he had before.  He's also getting a lot more compliments on his appearance, which is great for his confidence.

Carrotcake

You are doing great--you've already hit all the most important things. 

FIRM believer here in knowing your colors (I look nasty and ashy in pastels, for example, so make sure you're not sabotaging yourself).

IMHO the best makeup skill you can have to make your face look a lot more feminine and pretty is to know how to do a nice, subtle cat eye in liquid liner.  Almost every woman looks prettier with a contoured eyeliner on their top lid. It doesn't have to take forever and be super perfect (unlike what makeup tutorials on youtube seem to emphasize). I've been using the same cheapy loreal liquid liner since I was a teenager and it just adds the perfect touch of demure sex kitten. I'm also a fan of brown liquid liner as opposed to black and not a fan of wings that go out far past the eye--but this is all just personal preference. 

Carrotcake

Also, matching your colors doesn't HAVE to be super elaborate. You can kind of see it for yourself when you try on clothes. A great color match will make you look lit from within. 

Forest

@Maria‌ Thank you for the pictures! It helps a lot. I love the second picture you posted but I generally try to stay away from fitted skirts because they look off on my body frame. I'm a 00 with DDD's and small hips so it can make me look like an ice cream cone since my hips are smaller than my bust. I used to wear a-line skirts to balance out my shape but I got several "You look like a teacher" comments  I'm not sure how to fix that. 

Forest

@HildaCorners‌ Waiting on the book from Amazon right now  I'm excited to learn what else I need to do to get myself together. Thank you!

Forest

@Pirouette‌ I saw a denim pencil skirt similar to the second picture at Ann Taylor recently, FYI. 

Thanks! I am honestly not sure; I've been researching many careers and it's hard to narrow it down. Probably something in finance or computers. 

Forest

@Mongrel‌ My husband and I are both very small so the looks can be intimidating at times. 

Forest

@HopeAndHardWork‌ I think you're right about what a big difference colors can make. I wonder though- can they give me a proper color analysis if I'm continually changing my hair and skintone? Sometimes I'm tan with dark hair and wear lots of gold and bronze and sometimes I'm extremely fair with hair leaning towards red and I'll wear greens and teals. 

@Carrotcake‌ I tend towards always wearing a lot of dark grays and black because I think it adds a sultry touch and I don't really like looking girly (womanly, yes). I know I get way more compliments when I wear certain colors but I feel like it's not true to who I am, if that makes sense. I've broken out my eyeliner again recently and you're right, it makes a HUGE difference. 

Olddog

Forest said:

@Maria‌ Thank you for the pictures! It helps a lot. I love the second picture you posted but I generally try to stay away from fitted skirts because they look off on my body frame. I'm a 00 with DDD's and small hips so it can make me look like an ice cream cone since my hips are smaller than my bust. I used to wear a-line skirts to balance out my shape but I got several "You look like a teacher" comments  I'm not sure how to fix that. 

I have a gf with ample boobs and small waistline. Good bras / bathing suits balance her out. She also tends to wear 1 piece dresses in heavier fabrics (hang different) with nice details - they look fabulous on her. I'll try to find some similar pictures...