Giving myself a makeover... Any tips?

KatherineKelly

@forest If you are comfortable talking about it, what is your husbands personality like?

Is he quiet and reserved or life of the party?  What negative things has he said to you in the past about women concerning how they dress or act?

In my opinion a make over needs to be tailored to the individual man or you may put in alot of effort and see no results.

You could end up feeling unattractive and demoralized when the truth is you did not speak to what   "gets his attention"

Some men seem to go through the day noticing all women and others seem to not notice any of them or maybe they are just sly about it.

To catch a fish you need the bait that is matched to the fish you are trying to catch and every man is different.

I also think in marriage subtle changes may be best, particularly for the jealous types which I always seem to attract and provoke. 

A complete woman is a contradiction in terms and it is these contrasts that powerfully attract men if she does not offend, disgust or scare him off, which is why it is critical to know your man.

Innocence, class, elegance, wildness, sophistication,sluttiness, thoughtfulness, nurturing, gentleness, wicked humor, naughty, playful, attentive, independent, dependent, submissive, dominant ect..

All these words have a powerful effect on a man when found in a woman if they are blended in a way that speaks to the deepest part of him but you must know the man you are speaking to.

As women we are conditioned to think it is all about the outside but a beautiful woman will leave a man cold if she has no warmth on the inside and this warmth comes from the blended complexity and expression of her dualities.

Changing the outside will only take you so far and depending on how you do it, it could work against you

Beyond that your real power is inside of you by what you develop just for yourself that affects him.

The more you expand into completeness the more you will encircle him.

No man can resist a complete woman. It's what they spend their lives searching for.

Most woman have this within their ability to be but it takes the courage to leave the safety of the flock made up of all other women.


 

Olddog

Maybe not this fabric for everyday.

Olddog

We have a casual office, so it wouldn't be unusual to see her in something like this. (But also a summer cardigan, our office is freezing!)

Forest

@Serenity‌ No, I'm still waiting on the book from Amazon. I read all of your links and found the 'how to fair warning..' link the most helpful. I've done a few things on that list and for the first time in awhile my husband is taking my issues seriously rather than dismissing them as me being overly emotional. Thank you for the links. 

Forest

@Olddog‌ Both of those dresses are great. I would love a dress like the first one but I always seem to need to tailor dresses if I get them from a women's store rather than a junior's which is a pain so I normally don't end up buying them. I have never gotten more compliments than when I wear a halter dress, but man those KILL my neck. I need to look for a dress like the first one. 

Forest

@KatherineKelly‌ My husband is outgoing and is always joking around with everyone. He has a lot of charm- especially around women. He's very driven but also insecure about not being good enough. He loves intensely and is very loyal. He's incredibly sensitive but doesn't show it often. He's possessive of me and doesn't like to share anything. He stresses himself out often- asking himself if he is a good enough man, a good enough student, a good enough friend, a good enough husband. He puts pressure on himself unlike anyone I've ever seen. He doesn't want me to have to work- ever. He brings me breakfast in bed every weekend, buys me bouquets when I'm sick and writes me poetry. As you can tell he is a traditional man who SAYS he likes a traditional woman, but he can be contradicting...

For example, after the wedding I tried to become the wife we both expected me to become. I stopped nagging him to the point of never voicing my issues, I didn't make friends here because he doesn't like me to go out without him and I started covering up and dressing in only dresses and skirts and looking completely natural because of what he said he liked. I have become a timid, "proper" wife who is scared of rocking the boat. I miss the feisty, strong, sexual person I was before we married. 

So despite his objections I got tan and showed cleavage today. Nothing vulgar, I just definitely didn't look like a teacher and he couldn't stop telling me how hot I was. I don't get it... He always says he feels bad for how desperate women are for attention nowadays yet when I look just like the women he judges he can't keep his hands off me. Recently I blew up at him and told him I wasn't going to put up with being ignored and suppressed anymore and it's like he's suddenly interested in me all over again. 

He says he doesn't like high-maintenance women (in both looks and personalities) but his actions speak otherwise. I honestly believe he likes the challenge. 

HopeAndHardWork

They can still do your color analysis regardless of hair coloring or tanning.  When you go, they will cover your hair with a grey cap and you'll wear a grey drape to cancel out any competing colors from your hair and clothes.  You also won't wear any make up.  They are actually evaluating the undertone of your skin (cool/cool-neutral/warm/warm-neutral), not the over tones (tan, blotches, flushing, freckles, etc.).  Your undertone will not change regardless of how tan you are.  

I think they do request that you try to schedule your appointment at least a week after you've been to a tanning booth or used a self tanning product on your face, as that makes it a little harder to see how the skin reacts to the different color drapes, but that's about it.  

A lot of color analysts also include an evaluation for the correct hair colors for you.  If your hair dye is fighting your natural skin tone, you won't look your best even if you're wearing clothes that are in your best colors.

Here's a little 5 minute video on how to get the most accurate color analysis possible:

Forest

@HopeAndHardWork‌ Thank you for the video, what she talks about makes a lot of sense. I looked in my area for a consultant but unfortunately didn't find any. I found some who will look over your pictures, but I'm not sure how accurate that would be. From my own research, I appear to be a Deep Autumn. I guess that's why I always get the most compliments when I wear oranges and greens. 

Tiger_Lily

I'm a Deep Autumn too. Basically in every color family there will be shades that work for you and some that don't, so don't rule out entire colors.  Burnt orange good, bright orange bad, that kind of thing.  Go for rich but muted.

HopeAndHardWork

Forest said:

@HopeAndHardWork‌ Thank you for the video, what she talks about makes a lot of sense. I looked in my area for a consultant but unfortunately didn't find any. I found some who will look over your pictures, but I'm not sure how accurate that would be. From my own research, I appear to be a Deep Autumn. I guess that's why I always get the most compliments when I wear oranges and greens. 

Yeah, I'm not near any consultants either.  I got the color matched cards from the truth-is-beauty website and figured out my color palette at home.  Someday when I'm going on vacation, I'm hoping to get my colors done by a consultant just to verify, but I'm pretty confident about my season being a Bright Winter.  

If you want to narrow down which palette is yours, I found this blog post and this blog post really helpful.  I bought the full 12 season set of cards instead of just a 6 season set as I wanted to drape my husband and kids as well as myself.  It's been a lot of fun, and very eye opening.  

I took the recommendation of this blog post and had everybody help out while I draped each family member.  It was much much easier to come to a consensus with a lot of other people observing the changes in the skin as I held up the different cards.  We did it under full spectrum light bulbs.  

One of the best things I ever did was change the light bulbs in the master bathroom to the full spectrum light bulbs.  Now when I go out, I know my make up looks good and I'm not trying to frantically do some extra blending while staring into the rear view mirror of my car in full sunlight. 

Forest

@Tiger_Lily I bought this wrap dress off of eBay today. I guess we'll see if this shade of orange works for me.



I am also thinking about getting these orange and red earrings to go with it... (they're 1.75" x 1" so they aren't huge)



Now I need some shoes! Anybody have any ideas? I need something practical since I'm wearing this outfit to meet some of the Mr.'s friends at his college so I'll be walking a lot and don't want to look like I'm trying too hard (we may go out to eat after though).

Forest

@HopeAndHardWork I want to say your post was helpful, but it really just confused me more haha! I think the color cards would be really helpful to help ensure I chose the right season (especially if people are helping me), but I wasn't expecting it to cost $48. Although, if you do your family and friends, the cost makes sense. I'm going to look around and see if I can get the cards for a lower price though... amazing idea, thank you so much!

I bought an orange dress (posted above) because of all this reading I've been doing about color analysis thanks to you. I hope I was right about my season!

Olddog

Forest said:

@Olddog‌ Both of those dresses are great. I would love a dress like the first one but I always seem to need to tailor dresses if I get them from a women's store rather than a junior's which is a pain so I normally don't end up buying them. I have never gotten more compliments than when I wear a halter dress, but man those KILL my neck. I need to look for a dress like the first one. 

I don't hesitate to buy from juniors if I like a piece.

I was addicted to What Not to Wear for a while, and if there's anything I've learned is try it all on. Different colours and shapes outside your usual habits. Sometimes you get pleasantly surprised!

Forest

@Olddog Oh I have nothing against Junior's departments but I find the material normally isn't as nice/doesn't drape as nicely as Women's clothes do. I normally would have never bought the orange dress I posted above but I'm stepping out of my comfort range because of all this talk about color analysis.

I agree with trying EVERYTHING on.

Olddog

There's some nice higher end junior stuff though. I happen to love Mexx, but most of it's really not age appropriate for me. If I was a 20- 30-year-old officer worker though? Watch out! lol

It's not hugely expensive, but the pieces I have are great classics and amazing quality.

Forest

@Olddog Those clothes are gorgeous. Unfortunately they don't have any stores in my country

Olddog

Trust in this forum then! . What region are you in? European? North Amercan, South? Asian?

Forest

@Olddog I'm in North America  I usually shop at Banana Republic, J Crew and Ann Taylor but all of their clothes are too big for me now that I've lost some weight.

Olddog

Just looked at BR website. You're waist is smaller than 24?

Let me think about it then b/c when I was in Asia, I saw soooo many beautiful clothes which tormented me b/c I'd never fit them  - I'd be considered an XL even though my waist is under 30! I sent my DD some websites to look at, I'll see if I can find them...

Forest

@Olddog My waist is 23-24 inches and sometimes their stuff fits me in the waist, but it's usually the shoulders/armpits/butt/thigh areas that are too big for me (which are my biggest problems at all the stores I shop at). I guess I've never thought about buying Asian clothes because I assumed I couldn't fit in them because of my bust size. I have found jeans and t-shirts that fit, but everything else looks like pajamas on me.