Advice from a divorced man

BigDaDieselBigDaDiesel MichiganSilver Member Posts: 124
I caught this article at Vamshare.com. I'm interested what the good people of MMSL would think of these heartfelt tips.  Do they vibe with the overall philosophy of @Athol_Kay‌ ? The "Beautiful Response" that follows is equally as interesting.  What are your thoughts? 

http://www.vamshare.com/epic-marriage-advice-from-divorced-man/


BigD
B)
"LAZINESS KILLS, AND IT KILLS EXPONENTIALLY!" ~ Cayjominara
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Comments

  • TrumanTruman England, UKSilver Member Posts: 98
    edited October 2014
    I think that largely fits in with the MMSL approach, although a bit too self-sacrificing in some aspects, in particular points 16 & 18.
    BigDaDiesel
  • themacnutthemacnut Philadelphia, PASilver Member Posts: 404
    Most of those points do fit in well with MMSL, but there are a couple points I feel should come with strong caveats;

    #5 - It's not your job to change or fix her - I mostly agree with this, but feel a caveat should come with this part; "And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not." Sure, as long as what she becomes isn't actively destructive to the marriage, like a heavy drinker, drug addict, or cheater...

    #15 - Be vulnerable - we should all know the caveats here. Yes, own your mistakes, but a man should be careful about sharing his fears and feelings. Remember, women really don't want to hear their man's owies. Not unless he's already strongly Alpha otherwise, and even then only sparingly.

    #16 - Be transparent - this did not seem to mean "be completely honest about your whereabouts and intentions" as I first thought, but instead is another way of saying "be vulnerable", in which case the same caveats for #15 apply. It's better if there's some mystery left anyway.

    I don't have any big problems with the rest of it, but it all does need to be evaluated carefully from a Red Pill/MMSL perspective.


    Husband of over a decade, stepfather of 3, creator of the superhero webcomic The Vanguard.
    MiddleManBigDaDiesel
  • TPokeTPoke OklahomaSilver Member Posts: 711
    #5 accept her as she is sounds like BS, what if she becomes an unattractive celibate 
    #10 is flat out insane and my bet as to why he is divorced from his "queen"  (one of my big problems with the Love Languages book) 
    #11 "Treat her as you would your most valuable client."  LOL bet that helps.. The customer is always right. 
    #15 "share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes."  Once again exposing your owie as well as dwelling on how crappy a captain you are won't instill confidence. 

    Aside from these specific jewels of horrible advice this guy sounds extremely flowery in his language with all his feeding her soul and cherishing her heart crap. I would wager this guy is still available for a while. 
    BigDaDieselPandaBear7Truman
  • BigDaDieselBigDaDiesel MichiganSilver Member Posts: 124
    I felt mostly like you all. He hit some valid points but overall, he sounded like a "wus", for lack of a better term. He is one of those who just heaped attention and pampering upon his wife, no matter what. Accepting her as she is is fine, if she's a great person. If she is an out of control, manipulative, evil vixen, then it's a little hard to accept. #4, in theory is awesome. I believe in seeing the best in your wife, and even faking it til you make it, in some cases. But if all she offers is negativity, despite your best efforts to walk by faith and not by sight, then that is a problem. I HAVE to eventually focus on what bugs me if it is going to get dealt with. Having walked in these shoes, I can tell he is the kind of guy that will let a woman walk all over him.

    Good points to ponder from each of you. Thanks! @kickboxer @tpoke @themacnut @truman
    "LAZINESS KILLS, AND IT KILLS EXPONENTIALLY!" ~ Cayjominara
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