Attend the Funeral or Allow Myself to be Sad?

KickboxerKickboxer USASilver Member Posts: 1,120
I need to bounce an usual situation off of the forum.  The grandfather of a boy I mentored in his youth died recently.  Here is the short version of the boy's history with me:

Both our fathers died in 1996.  This boy was five at the time and I had just finished college.  I was childhood friends with his father, but we were not close.  I ended up visiting the boy once a week in a big brother kind of way until he was 12 and I moved away for career opportunities.  I still live about a three-hour drive away.  I keep in touch via Facebook and texting as this young man has constantly done both good and bad in his life.  I still try to influence him in a positive way.  The boy is 24 years old now.

The funeral service for the grandfather is this coming Tuesday.  However, it coincides with the birthday of my youngest child.  This child died two years ago.  We still celebrate her birthday and it is a special day for the immediate family.  I already took a day off work to be with my wife all day, although we are planning on having the rest of our children head off to school as usual.

So if I don't go it probably won't derail my relationship with this boy.  Although he does see and feel death differently than the most, especially any father figures.  I might just be very up front about not going.

To be clear I don't want to go to the funeral.  The deceased was an old man who lost his sanity a few years ago.  He didn't have a high quality of life and I wasn't close to the grandfather.  Grandma and Grandpa in this case were divorced back in the 80's.  She has been the primary care giver for this boy.  Grandma is still around and functional.  She has lamented that this man, husband #2 of 3, was the one she wished she hadn't divorced.

Thoughts?

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