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First post
Learner
UKMember Posts: 2
in Married Life
I've been happily married for nearly 21 years now. We have two great children who are 18 and 19 years old. We have had the usual ups and downs in marriage, but can say overall been good.
Over the last two years or so our sex life has taken a back seat. I have always initiated sex since we have been together. Recently, i am always getting excuses whenever I touch her. Excuses range from not in mood for it or this is hurting or i am tired. Is been about 6 weeks since we had sex last.
In the last two years my wife has had new friends who she goes out with more, they are both single ladies not sure whether they are influencing her or she envys their lives without men. But, i am thinking there is some corrolation there.
I do love my wife a lot and want to try and work this out. Whenever i approach the subject she refers to me as a perv who is sex mad. I do not want to go down the affair route, as i love my wife and could not do this to her. But really need to work this out.
How frequent should a couple have sex? My thoughts would be every other day. I would even be happy once a week.
Over the last two years or so our sex life has taken a back seat. I have always initiated sex since we have been together. Recently, i am always getting excuses whenever I touch her. Excuses range from not in mood for it or this is hurting or i am tired. Is been about 6 weeks since we had sex last.
In the last two years my wife has had new friends who she goes out with more, they are both single ladies not sure whether they are influencing her or she envys their lives without men. But, i am thinking there is some corrolation there.
I do love my wife a lot and want to try and work this out. Whenever i approach the subject she refers to me as a perv who is sex mad. I do not want to go down the affair route, as i love my wife and could not do this to her. But really need to work this out.
How frequent should a couple have sex? My thoughts would be every other day. I would even be happy once a week.
0
Comments
Before anyone can give honest advice, please do the triage.
In order to help you best, we need to learn more about your marriage. Answering the Triage Questions will do that. Post your answers here, in this thread, using several comments if necessary.
As a quick answer, with no background to go on, your wife may be going through menopause. Menopause does not have to shut down sex, but some women believe it does, and their bodies follow their brains. This can definitely be changed.
Also, are you delivering the right mix of High Value and Relationship Comfort? You can find out about this by reading Athol's books and blog posts, as well as the forum. Or ask us, and we'll talk your ears off after you submit your Triage.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
Some short videos explaining some of the concepts you will see here.
Fate favors the prepared.
"Treating her like a princess didn't make me a prince, it made me a servant."
Link to triage questions: http://marriedmansexlife.com/triage-your-relationship-and-the-911-er-category/