breast augmentation:worth it?

GingerEtoile

So I'm here for my annual post-divorce check in from you wise people of love and relationship excellence. I've actually followed the advice given to me on previous posts and have chilled out completely on dating. I'm getting my kids all super stable and feeling good, I'm in a better financial position than I've been in, ever, have spent lots of good time with friends and am finishing my master's degree, with a new job set up for the fall. I work out like a maniac and look pretty fit for my elderly age of over 40. My best friend is a hair stylist so my hair is looking pretty glorious thanks to her:) But....then there are my breasts. When I look in the mirror it's like the scene in the shining, when jack Nicholson turns around with the beautiful woman in his arms and suddenly she's an old hag. They actually are not that terrible, but I really want to get them done during this time when I actually have the money available and am genuinely not interested in dating.
 I just want pretty breasts that match the rest of me (or how I see myself,  at least). I definitely will enjoy them on my own because I am ridiculously vain, but of course I'd like to enjoy them with a partner some day. The last man who saw them looked visibly disappointed,  so I know it's not just in my head.

So what's the consensus?  Are beautiful breasts just a little bonus, or a big enough deal to make me more attractive to the better,  older, successful men I'd like to date? Do they justify the $7k which could be spent taking my children to Disney or helping the poor or otherwise not just me wanting to look good in a bikini? 
Thanks:)

findingalpha

I don't know what you feel is wrong with your breasts. If it is size then I would say from my perspective too small or too large does not affect my desire. Adventurious in bed in much more important. Save the money. 

Distorted or very saggy can be a turn off for me. If that is the case then maybe consider it. 

Some me men are into huge breasts. Some are into small breasts. Most are just into women and enjoy the breasts just the way they are. 

elgringo

If you can afford it and it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it! Part of the reason you are working out is to look good. This is just another way to look good. I don't see anything wrong with getting the breasts done. 

Angeline

@Jellybean I think has either has cosmetic surgery or researched it when thinking about having it, she might have some input

Carrotcake

IMHO, men are not really reliable advisers on whether or not they like breast implants.

I've heard so many man insist that some porn star's or actress' breasts are real, when they are clearly nicely done implants. My husband wouldn't believe that most porn stars have implants until I showed him dozens of before and afters on real self. He thought they all just had great tits. Which they do. They are just implants. Scarlett Johansson is a great example. Hers are lovely, but they are surgically enhanced. Now, I wouldn't be surprised if 10 guys show up to say "Oh no, Scarlett's are real." 

Which is a roundabout way of saying, I've always suspected it was kinda worth it. Men generally think they look great. They aren't going to be clinically evaluating whether they are real, and in fact are probably biased in favor of believing they're real. Maybe once you get in bed it's a different story. But if I was single now, I'd probably get them. 

RebuildingHusband

I agree with @Carrotcake. Most guys are clueless. As long as you don't get comically exaggerated breasts then you won't be automatically lumped into the "crazy female" category on the dating market. A nicely done set is, well, nice. 

Sherando

I had mine done when I was already in surgery to get a vertical hernia from my c-section repaired. I'm petite, so I didn't want to go huge. But at the same time, I wanted to go big enough to make it worthwhile. I took my time and found the best surgeon in the area.  Most women can tell they're not real (I'm a size 0, what are the odds  that I'd be a 32DD naturally?). Most men don't seem to realize. 

LadyOrTheTyger

A girlfriend of mine got implants when she turned 40.  She's happily married with a wonderful husband and children; her husband wasn't at all wanting her to get the surgery.  It was something she wanted to do for herself.  It's nearly 10 years later and she still loves them.  I say if it's something you truly want for yourself go for it.  

Carrotcake

generalzod said:

Carrotcake said:

But if I was single now, I'd probably get them. 

Interesting post, CC.  

It may be relevant to the discussion to hear why you won't get them now, while married, if they're something you want and would get if you were single. 

Hmmm. That is interesting. I think because my husband isn't enthusiastic about it now, and I'm not going to go out on a limb with something like that. It's a money thing now too. 

But after kids? You better believe implants are happening.  

As for why if single? Well I wouldn't feel as guilty splashing the cash (and maybe fibbing about how much they cost...). I think they give you an edge in the market. You can do the grody recovery stuff with no one around.

It's one of those ask forgiveness instead of permission things. I think if when my husband met me I had pretty implants, he would love it. But asking for that kind of expense when my breasts are nice enough and when we are paying down students loans while saving for a house? That's a way tougher sell. 

ffp20

LadyOrTheTyger said:

A girlfriend of mine got implants when she turned 40.  She's happily married with a wonderful husband and children; her husband wasn't at all wanting her to get the surgery.  It was something she wanted to do for herself.  It's nearly 10 years later and she still loves them.  I say if it's something you truly want for yourself go for it.  

Are they still together?

DaddyOh

My Ex wife got'em when we were married. Went down hill after that. 

If you're single and it bothers you, got for it. 

LadyOrTheTyger

ffp20 said:

LadyOrTheTyger said:

A girlfriend of mine got implants when she turned 40.  She's happily married with a wonderful husband and children; her husband wasn't at all wanting her to get the surgery.  It was something she wanted to do for herself.  It's nearly 10 years later and she still loves them.  I say if it's something you truly want for yourself go for it.  

Are they still together?

Yes and very happy. He loves her breasts now.

findingalpha

I agree with@generalzod   . I think this is an area where media interpretation of men's response has skewed the reality of men's response. Unless they are real bad it just doesn't matter that much to me. I notice butts and eyes first. Of course I notice breasts as well but I like them in many shapes and sizes. Perfect looking breasts on a 25 year old is awesome. On a 40 year old not so much because I know they aren't real. I could take it or leave it to be honest. 

Isnt this kind of like penis size? Really bad does matter. Really big matters to a few. Most aren't affected that much as long as it is in the normal size range. 

If you can afford it and it makes you happier then go for it. But do it more for you more than for men.  They will want you regardless. 

never_again

I dated a woman for a short time who got implants because her husband wanted them. Immediately after their divorce she had them taken out. There was NOTHING wrong with the little breasts she had. But then I'm a small boob guy anyway. If it's done for someone else, wrong. If done to address floppy, disfigured or whatever, it's your call. Though I do recall seeing a stripper who's implant had shifted. If it's done for your own self-esteem, it's your call. I'll give the standard "building self-esteem is cheaper and more beneficial in the long run" speech. So is finding someone who accepts/likes you as you are. Formatting seems out-of-whack, hence no paragraphs.

The_Dude

Do you think there's any possibility you are overly self critical?  My wife has brought this up a few times. I can tell you without any bullshit or wife googles that her boobs are perfect.  She works out a lot and for some reason the kids didn't change much.  So I think it is common for women to over analyze things.
If that's possible then get someone you trust (or two) to give you an opinion.
But yeah, age and kids change some woman a lot.  And I don't see any reason you should feel weird or guilty about it.
my neighbor just had it done.  She was size near-zero. And she was stunning prior to the change.  Now she's even more stunning.

Terps4Life

I guess I am in the camp of the breasts are a bonus.  I have always been a leg and butt guy and nice set of boobs was nice but not the most important thing. My wife is almost 6' tall so her legs go on forever.   My wife has small ones and I love em the way they are.  She sometimes wishes she could "fill out" her dresses a bit more, always been this way since we got married almost 12 years ago. 

Guitarslinger

I don't know......I'd have to see them to tell you for sure

GingerEtoile

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'm carefully examining my reasons for it. I'm single, and I'm not looking to date anyone for a while. I'm an average size woman (5'4, 128 lbs) but I hate hate HATE the volume loss after 4 kids. I don't want to lie to my teenagers, and I also feel like,  hey, it's my body. If I wanted a tattoo sleeve to improve my feelings about my body,  that would be okay. It should be,  at least. They aren't horrible by any means,  they did their job with the babies. I just always enjoyed the ornamental element of pretty breasts and think I would enjoy it. My good friend had hers done and of course they look fantastic,  so I do have one person's opinion. ..she's all for it:)

zeroday

most comments are addressing you feeling good about yourself with augmentation.  naturally you would want to make improvements that will increase your overall quality of life.  

The other thing is you mentioned you are looking to date older successful men.  Assuming that SMP dispartiy is imminent,  it sounds prudent to do everything possible to up your ranking no?

TiredWife

A friend of mine did it a few months ago, and she is ridiculously happy.  Personally, I don't want to be any bigger but I would look into a lift if we could afford it.  

GingerEtoile

"Older successful men" as in, "not younger than me, " and "has a job and a place to live and is generally a responsible adult" @zeroday. I'm not talking CEOs,  just decent men who can fend for themselves in the world, are bright enough to hold a conversation with me, and want companionship rather than more babies. Sex crazed wouldn't hurt;) So the boobs are mostly for myself.