Extremely frustrated Newbie! Need advice asap. - Thanks

Eightbit

If you were at phase four in coaching months ago you can't possibly still be there.  If you made your expectations clear and then went three months without moving on to 5/6 she probably doesn't even think you care that she's not meeting them.


ETA: I went back through this thread quickly.  You came in completely clueless in March 2015 and by October were having "a phase 4 moment" while everyone was insisting it was impossible for you to be that far along based on the things you were saying and the seeming ignorance of some of the tools and advice (especially considering you had repeatedly cheated on your wife).  I just don't buy it.  I'm not going to pretend to know what Athol knows since you've been through his coaching, but my advice is the same as it was a couple of months ago.  We do not see the same things athol is seeing with you.  Therefore I would suggest (again) that you stop posting here and only listen to him.

EANx

@Betterdaysahead!, this is a process, one you have to participate in. While I won't gainsay any experts you may be using, many people half-ass it through the process then get pissy that it didn't work. I don't see (read) much effort. We're here for you but you're the one that has to carry most of the load.

Betterdaysahead!

I have not posted in some time because I found that I was getting some very good advice and other advice that was off the mark given where I was in my mapping and in my relationship.  Knowone's fault since you can only write so much detail to try and get everyone on the same page. 

Quick update is my wife and I are still together after things were near divorce last April. I have been mapping for close to one year.  Back in early January of this year we had sex for the first time in like 9 months after she found my post.  Since then we have been having sex or she gives me BJ's like once every 2-3 weeks.  

The problem is that I know this is just duty sex for her.  She went to see someone albeit only once and realized she has really no libido and has faced the problem most of her life that she cannot orgasm.  As Athol told me until this problem is solved it will never get great for me. We are going to have another discussion soon about this and if she is planning on doing anything to resolve.  She admits that I have really changed and for the better but she is afraid of trying to fix her problem because she thinks it will never be good enough to satisfy me so why bother. 

I remember one of the members posting. Why do I give a shit about her orgasms. I thought this so strange but am I really overthinking this and should just enjoy what she is giving me eventhough she does not really want to have sex, never intiates, never cuddles etc, etc.?