Please critique my online dating profile

Ben

elgringo said:

Hopefully I wont end up as jaded and disgruntled as some people here seem to be.  Not naming names.  

I'd say that I resent the implication that I've become jaded, but I can't be bothered.  Grumble grumble.

(-:

elgringo

First date went very well.  We met after work and went to a place that sells pizza by the slice.  I figured that was a safe option because if we didn't like each other we could make a hasty retreat.  Instead of worrying about whether she would like me, I was thinking about whether I liked her and if she would be a good match for me.  After dinner we went for a walk and then sat at a picnic table. We ended up talking for over 4 hours.  We share a similar sense of humor and make each other laugh.  She is a happy person with a positive attitude.  We are both looking for one person to date.  She does accounting and is good with money and budgets.  I find this VERY sexy.  And she is gorgeous.  The song Brick House could have been written about her.  She is also quite tall.  Im 5' 11" and she is 5' 10".  End of date nice hug and we made plans to see each other next week.  I am looking for red flags, but so far don't see any.

We have been communicating a lot through an app called "Voxer". Works like a walkie talkie. You hold the button and talk and it sends the recorded message to the other person.  Its kind of like texting in that you don't have to reply right away.  Really cool app.  She asked me if i could met her after work yesterday so we met at barnes and noble.  Another great conversation.  When it was time to go, I gave her a big hug, and she put her head on my shoulder and embraced me for a long time.  So I asked her what her policy was for kissing on the second date.  She laughed and said she didn't have one.  So I went for it and we had a mini make out session in front of Barnes and Noble.  We have both told each other how much we enjoy each others company.  She tells me that I make her laugh and smile.  I am still looking for red flags, but I have to say that I like this woman alot.  She is very open and communicates well.  Lack of communication was a huge problem in previous relationships.  I am seeing her again next week. The only problem right now is a logistical one.  She is divorced with 2 kids and our custody schedules are out of sync.  But if things work out I should be able to swap weekends with my stbx.  

I know everyone is different, but how many dates do you go on before deciding if that person is someone you want to be in a relationship with?

Angeline

More than 2.

elgringo

Angeline said:

More than 2.

Face palm. Everyone is a comedian. Yes, obviously more than 2. Geez.

stillasamountain

elgringo said:

Angeline said:

More than 2.

Face palm. Everyone is a comedian. Yes, obviously more than 2. Geez.

But do you understand the subtext? It's a pretty important message...

Angeline

elgringo said:

Angeline said:

More than 2.

Face palm. Everyone is a comedian. Yes, obviously more than 2. Geez.

I wasn't trying to be funny. Go on more dates with other nice women.

LadyOrTheTyger

I don't really go by 'dates' because I think that it has to get past "going on dates" before I can decide if this is someone I want to be in a relationship with.  It kind of naturally flows from going out on set dates, to just spending time together.  We meet some of each other's friends.  One day after a couple of months we realize that we're integrating well into each other's lives.  So we have a discussion to make sure we're on the same page with that.  IMHO this way is much better than going on a set number of dates and then asking her to be your girlfriend.  Don't force or rush the process.  Let it grow organically.  

I always hid my profile once I found somebody I liked and was interested in, just because it's a big time sink.  


Also, don't ask a woman her policy about kissing.  Fucking kiss her.  

elgringo

I always hid my profile once I found somebody I liked and was interested in, just because it's a big time sink.  

Also, don't ask a woman her policy about kissing.  Fucking kiss her.

We have both hidden our profiles. Also, I was pretty sure she wanted me to kiss her so my question was given jokingly.

LadyOrTheTyger

Right.  But asking places you in a supplicating position, even if done jokingly.  If I want a man to kiss me, and he asks about kissing me, I automatically want him to kiss me a little bit less.  I'll still kiss him, and it's a small -1 in the grand scheme of things, but it's still a -1.  

If I'm horny as hell and my man initiates sex with any whiff of a question mark around it, it reduces my horniness.  We'll still have sex, but I'll want it less than I would if he just went for it.  

You're doing great, and this stuff is really hard to internalize for men who have had the exact opposite drilled into their heads since boyhood.  

EANx

Assume the sale but don't push past a hard no.

allievo

Dating is exciting, especially if it has been a long time since you've started dating someone new...don't trick yourself into thinking you've found the next 'one' just because it's exciting dating again! I definitely agree with the above posts, go on a few more dates!