Branch Out or Stay the Course

better_manbetter_man USMember Posts: 6
Since my divorce 20 months ago, I've been having amazing sex with one particular woman.  We've been "dating" for the past 10 months.  And this is my dilemma.  I very much like, and have become attached to her, so why do I "feel" I should get myself out there more.  I'm new to the dating scene. Do I branch out, or stay the course.

Comments

  • RebuildingHusbandRebuildingHusband Southern USASilver Member Posts: 1,953
    What do YOU want to do?
    give a shit and try, or go be miserable by yourself - AlphaBelle
    JellyBean
  • better_manbetter_man USMember Posts: 6
    Smack - Thank you!
  • The_DudeThe_Dude Hollywood Star LanesGold Men Posts: 4,583
    Do you like her company?
  • GingerEtoileGingerEtoile central midwestSilver Member Posts: 57
    Is the part of you that "feels" you should get out there your inner voice telling you this isn't quite right, or you're not really ready?  Or is it that you feel like you're supposed to play the field but you don't want to? 
  • ThomasBThomasB Pacific NorthwestSilver Member Posts: 117
    I had that feeling with the first woman I seriously dated in the first year after my divorce, and I split from her because of it and lost an amazing relationship. Now, I'm in another great relationship...

    Do you feel like you need to date around some more to learn what type of woman you are best with? Does this current woman you're seeing fulfill enough of your desires for a new life partner? 
  • better_manbetter_man USMember Posts: 6
    Its definately a feeling that I'm "supposed" to play the field.  Most of the advice out there says to avoid a serious relationship for some time. In my case, having been married 20 years, I've heard anywhere from 18 - 24 months. I do see her as a life partner.  
  • GingerEtoileGingerEtoile central midwestSilver Member Posts: 57
    @better_man, I think ideally people should spend some time alone, just to recalibrate who you are as an independent human being,  what you want from life, & from a partner. But people move on in different ways,  and let me assure you there is no handbook that will prevent all heartbreak or regret. So, imho, enjoy yourself, and be very VERY careful to listen to the inner voice that is telling you something one way or the other.
    ThomasBJohn3
  • AngelineAngeline planting seedsCategory Moderator** Posts: 14,501
    Its definately a feeling that I'm "supposed" to play the field.  Most of the advice out there says to avoid a serious relationship for some time. In my case, having been married 20 years, I've heard anywhere from 18 - 24 months. I do see her as a life partner.  
    The advice to not dive into something serious right away is (a) to try to learn something about yourself and become a stronger standalone person, so you don't just repeat your fails from weakness, and (b) to realize there are lots of good people out there, there really are.

    Overcoming the idea that there is one person who will "complete you", movie nonsense aside, is a path to misery. That isn't just manosphere advice, that's just smart life advice. I think the issue here is that you don't feel strong enough to lead, that you'll cave at the first real show of attitude or poor behavior from her. Feeling like this one is The One automatically starts the relationship with an imbalance of power.

    Date only good people. Select for the kind of looks that attract you, but then beyond that also discern whether they deserve your time. If it ends, it ends, it will be sad but survivable. Good people are worth a period of sad, but it isn't the end of the world. You'll be way better off if you treat these first few relationships as practice swings.


    "Speak your truth." - Scarlet
    Remember to play!
    Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
    Be married, until you are not.

    Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
    John3GingerEtoile
  • better_manbetter_man USMember Posts: 6
    The primary thing I like about this woman is her sense independence. We are both this way. She has many interest outside our relationship. I have several hobbies, workout regularly, go out with friends, and keep plenty busy with work. We see each other once, and occasionally, twice a week. I also ensure I invest more in myself than her for true confidence. Thanks for all the sound advice. Staying the course it is.
  • leoslayerleoslayer NCSilver Member Posts: 1,920
    If you like her stay with her. Seeing other women is not a mandatory requirement for being a HV male.

    Have fun and enjoy it. If it goes South learn from it.
    ThomasB
  • ThomasBThomasB Pacific NorthwestSilver Member Posts: 117
    Its definately a feeling that I'm "supposed" to play the field.  Most of the advice out there says to avoid a serious relationship for some time. In my case, having been married 20 years, I've heard anywhere from 18 - 24 months. I do see her as a life partner.  
    Define "serious relationship." Are you going to the jewelry store anytime soon? You can have an outstanding relationship that is not serious, IMO.
  • leoslayerleoslayer NCSilver Member Posts: 1,920
    ThomasB said:
    Its definately a feeling that I'm "supposed" to play the field.  Most of the advice out there says to avoid a serious relationship for some time. In my case, having been married 20 years, I've heard anywhere from 18 - 24 months. I do see her as a life partner.  
    Define "serious relationship." Are you going to the jewelry store anytime soon? You can have an outstanding relationship that is not serious, IMO.
    Hahaha I define anything exclusive as serious!
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