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Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

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  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    Athol_Kay said:

    Still, despite the growing acceptance of sex before marriage, the data suggests that there might still be a different kind of awkwardness in the cross-generational sex talks. “What you might see when millennials are discussing these issues with their boomer parents is that millennials are more permissive of sexuality,” Twenge said, “but boomers might have to shut their mouths about how many partners they’ve had.”.

    Very true, even though I have a lower partner count than many boomers.

    I raised my kids in a sex positive environment. I knew it was the right thing when one, at 15 said "Mom, I'm too young to deal with the consequences of sex." This kid wasn't talking about pregnancy or disease alone, but the emotional bonding and commitment.

    Where we "speak different languages" is on gender issues. I've learned not to associate he/she pronouns based on a friend's first name, and I have to roll with it when I ask about one of their friends and hear back "They're not Mary any more, they changed their name to Martin." Just hearing a single person referred to in plural is confusing enough ... and then there's trying to figure out the difference between gay and queer ...

    ... and this would be even more confusing if I hadn't read so much science fiction! [Reference John Varley]
    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
  • TedDTedD USAMember Posts: 1,587
    My only knowledge of Tinder is from a co-worker.  Late 30's, life long bachelor with no intentions of marrying.  Joined the military after HS and then worked as a contractor for the Dept. of Defense in Japan and Asia for the last 12 years.  He moved back to Pittsburgh because his father is getting old, and his brothers are married with kids.

    He uses Tinder to find FWB.  Since the first of the year there's been:
    The Real Estate agent
    the Burlesque dancer
    the college professor
    the psychologist
    and oddly a woman that works for UPMC, in the same building we are in... (We don't work for them, but the same building is still awfully close to shitting where you eat in my opinion)

    That's just from Tinder, but he tells me Match and OKCupid still get him some action as well.

    Now I get that the majority of folks using Tinder are way younger than he is, but he's "dating" women in their 20's through 30's all met through the app.  And by "dating" I mean plating, as it looks exactly as I've seen it described online elsewhere.  No, he isn't a PUA.  In fact, I actually think he's pretty decent.  He isn't hiding what he's looking for (I've seen some of the texts/emails.  He is perfectly clear on his goals) and so far there's been very little drama.  He's meeting a new one this weekend: 30yo single mother. Don't know what to call her since I don't know what she does. :p

    So in my very limited view, Tinder seems to function very well for hooking up.  At least for a fairly handsome, interesting, "worldy" late 30's guy looking for casual.  *shrug*
    Guitarslinger
  • JesusMarimbaJesusMarimba Silver Member Posts: 1,282
    The article is emotional porn for women. The emotions targeted are fear and envy, with a dollop of holier-than-thou disgust(the ED paragraph) tossed in towards the end to assuage the readers' damaged egos.


    TenneeJohn3ThomasBSmashmaster
  • Athol_KayAthol_Kay My Underground LairPosts: 8,046
    JesusMarimba said:
    The article is emotional porn for women. The emotions targeted are fear and envy, with a dollop of holier-than-thou disgust(the ED paragraph) tossed in towards the end to assuage the readers' damaged egos.

    It does have that emotional porn field report tone doesn't it.

     One Hour Call   12-Week Guided MAP

    "The turnaround is tremendous.  And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects.  I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force.  :)  He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well."  - Scarlet

    Tennee
  • TheLoneWandererTheLoneWanderer Vault 101Silver Member Posts: 106
    Tinder has responded with a freak out on Twitter about how it's not filled with married guys trying to hookup,  etc. 

    I don't know.  I've been on Plenty-of-fish for a few weeks and getting some awkward propositions,  so it ain't just Twitter.  If my standards were lower I'd be exhausted. 

    They have a "meet me"  feature where you just see the picture with the option to swipe like Tinder does.  There's the option to view a profile too,  but it really comes down to looks. 
  • MiddleManMiddleMan Chicago BurbsSilver Member Posts: 1,898
    Athol_Kay said:

    It's the porn as much as Tinder.

    The end of the article was the women coming across a ton of guys that's can't stay hard... in their early 20's even.

    That didn't start in the last 2 years.

    There's definitely something to that. If you read any of the sex and relationship groups on Reddit, they're full of questions and complaints from twentysomethings having problems due to porn, "death grip" masturbation, etc. 
    [Deleted User]
  • BettermanBetterman United KingdomSilver Member Posts: 659
    WTF is "death grip" masturbation??
    ENTJ, 8w7
    Don't wish she were different, wish you were better.
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  • Athol_KayAthol_Kay My Underground LairPosts: 8,046
    Betterman said:
    WTF is "death grip" masturbation??


    Needing to use unusually high physical force while jerking off to experience enough sensation to be able to achieve orgasm.


     One Hour Call   12-Week Guided MAP

    "The turnaround is tremendous.  And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects.  I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force.  :)  He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well."  - Scarlet

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  • CrashaxeCrashaxe Partytown, which is wherever I am.Gold Men Posts: 1,243
    Athol_Kay said:
    Betterman said:
    WTF is "death grip" masturbation??


    Needing to use unusually high physical force while jerking off to experience enough sensation to be able to achieve orgasm.


    @Athol_Kay What causes the need for this, Athol?

    “I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.” General James Mattis, USMC

  • TenneeTennee Next Stop: AwesomevilleSilver Member Posts: 5,963
    edited November 2015
    Current Mr. Tyger and I met on Tinder.  And if I'm a one night stand we're living in the movie Groundhog Day.  
    Again, the medium is moot - W and I met doing shots in a bar.  Whether Tinder now or a gaggle of mid 20s (alleged) professionals shooting Jager in mid 90s at the local hotspot is immaterial - you're in the hook-up culture, or you're not.  Sometimes it develops into more.  Sometimes not.  Sometimes, a lot more.  Just like anything else.  Frequency and Repetition would be the only change I think.   But what do I know...

    Athol's insight on porn use, and the comments towards the end of the article, are the real eye-opener here.  

    Otherwise, Sex Happens.  Stay tuned - It'll continue to do so...
    "Fall down seven times, stand up eight"  Japanese Proverb

    How will you live well today?
    AngelineMiddleMan[Deleted User]Maria
  • beribbonedberibboned caMember Posts: 359
    People still fall in love and I suppose it's always been a little embarrassing to admit you want love not just fun. I never did online dating (the thought of meeting with a complete stranger scared me!). But I met my husband at a public social event technically for discussion of likes and dislikes in sexual relationships. To a sociologist we may have appeared to be hooking up but we were getting together. Two hearts beating as one! 
  • mook_zmook_z Gold Men Posts: 1,267
    Back on the OP, there's another angle to why men don't need to commit: economics of sex.


    I think in numbers, supply and demand motivations and this spoke volumes to me.  Luckily for @PhoenixDown I'm a serial monogamist, so this didn't really describe me, (Engineers, living the one track mind since forever) but it does describe a lot of the change in motivation in relationships in the last 60 years versus 100 years ago.



    Athol even touches on this in his videos, where he talks about the costs of sex for women.
    "you ... are right." - DaddyOh
    MiddleManTenneeAdam_S
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