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Dealing with jealous remarks and "are you having an affair" questions
Mike
Member Posts: 30
Greetings all!
I've not posted in a while, but I have to say that my MAP worked wonders. A year ago I met an awesome woman (in all respects), and we've been having a really good relationship since. To give you a bit of background, she's been with quite a few men in the past, both "quick-sex-and-goodbye" types and others more LTR-like, but she always tells me that she now knows I'm "the man of her life" and that she had to meet many assholes in order to appreciate what she has now. To be honest, she could have men with more money, better looks, no kids (I've got 4, she has zero)... but she chose me, and says it was the best choice she has made.
Since we started dating, I've had one female friend try to hit on me rather evidently - episode included text messages, which I was transparent about and showed my girlfriend, finishing it off swiftly afterwards. I've had a few of episodes of women flirting with me, or friends making comments to her that I was good-looking, which I was passive about (and she seemed annoyed about).
In the last couple of weeks, however, she has fallen into a routine of asking questions along the lines of "are you faithful to me?", which today led to a "you took your nice white linen shirt and hair gel on your business trip last Monday", and then suggested that maybe I was leading a double life, or that I didn't even go on a business trip (to another country) at all, etc. etc.
My reaction was to be a bit pissed off & tell her that of course not, but I think I may have sounded apologetic. She then laughed and said she was kidding and joking, but it was really annoying to be questioned like this. The other previous times she has gone down this rabbit hole I've acted annoyed, and stayed annoyed/distant for a whole day.
I'm not sure if these are fitness or loyalty tests, or what. I have to add that we've decided to stop taking precautions during sex, and if a baby comes then great. Maybe she has gone too much into "I'm almost 40 and want to have a baby right now" and it's causing her to shift views... not sure.
Any suggestions as to how to react and treat this? Should I act annoyed and distant for a while, or escalate the "joke" & give comfort after ("you're the one, baby")?
I've not posted in a while, but I have to say that my MAP worked wonders. A year ago I met an awesome woman (in all respects), and we've been having a really good relationship since. To give you a bit of background, she's been with quite a few men in the past, both "quick-sex-and-goodbye" types and others more LTR-like, but she always tells me that she now knows I'm "the man of her life" and that she had to meet many assholes in order to appreciate what she has now. To be honest, she could have men with more money, better looks, no kids (I've got 4, she has zero)... but she chose me, and says it was the best choice she has made.
Since we started dating, I've had one female friend try to hit on me rather evidently - episode included text messages, which I was transparent about and showed my girlfriend, finishing it off swiftly afterwards. I've had a few of episodes of women flirting with me, or friends making comments to her that I was good-looking, which I was passive about (and she seemed annoyed about).
In the last couple of weeks, however, she has fallen into a routine of asking questions along the lines of "are you faithful to me?", which today led to a "you took your nice white linen shirt and hair gel on your business trip last Monday", and then suggested that maybe I was leading a double life, or that I didn't even go on a business trip (to another country) at all, etc. etc.
My reaction was to be a bit pissed off & tell her that of course not, but I think I may have sounded apologetic. She then laughed and said she was kidding and joking, but it was really annoying to be questioned like this. The other previous times she has gone down this rabbit hole I've acted annoyed, and stayed annoyed/distant for a whole day.
I'm not sure if these are fitness or loyalty tests, or what. I have to add that we've decided to stop taking precautions during sex, and if a baby comes then great. Maybe she has gone too much into "I'm almost 40 and want to have a baby right now" and it's causing her to shift views... not sure.
Any suggestions as to how to react and treat this? Should I act annoyed and distant for a while, or escalate the "joke" & give comfort after ("you're the one, baby")?
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One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force.
He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
Please allow me to add that I would reconsider the lack-of-birth-control planning. Whether you all think of it this way or not, you're essentially falling into a huge life commitment with her without the forethought or the formality that the gravity of this requires. You're allowing a potential pregnancy (very likely, if you all do it a lot) to push you into this. From what little we know, I don't think the two of you are ready yet.
Re. babies, I already have 4 from previous marriage, not afraid of this at all ;-)