Never had an orgasm - intro and triage

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Comments

  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    @LadyOrTheTyger Can he learn when the T is low? I have told him over and over that I want him on top of me, that I don't want to be on top. I've even pulled him over me and resisted him pulling me on top multiple times, and he still defaults to me on top for everything. How do I get through to him?

    As for the face-sitting, I was pleased he was even trying oral since he usually doesn't, so I didn't really think about correcting him in the moment. It just happened to not work very well, and the real problems were later.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
  • CharlieCharlie Earthquake country Silver Member Posts: 442
    Can you swing a call with Athol? I think like Amblrgrl has shown, in cases like yours where the guy is clueless, very clear communication is key. Your H doesn't know how to initiate or how to fuck. He actually thinks laying there scantily clad on the bed is seductive. STFU doesn't work because his instincts tell him to do the opposite of what you want/need. I feel like you're working hard, petal to the metal, but your wheels are spinning in the mud - you're not getting any traction with your H (you've made some great personal progress though). I think Athol could help you work out how and when to communicate with your H in a way that will get through to him - help you get some traction. 
    MrsJontelyni
  • frillyfunfrillyfun East PodunkGold Women Posts: 3,386
    edited July 25
    He can learn. 

    What you're doing isn't getting you what you want, so it's time to do something different.

    Think about what you want in bed.  Have some fantasies, read some erotica if it interests you.  
    LadyOrTheTyger
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    @frillyfun Okay, and then what? I've already got a whole list of things I want him to do to me. When I gave him some ideas, he did some of them once and that was it, despite my attempts to be enthusiastic and appreciative. I've also asked him multiple times to tell me what he wants me to do to him, and he always just says PIV is enough for him. So I'm not sure what else you're suggesting I do.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
  • LadyOrTheTygerLadyOrTheTyger EarthSilver Member Posts: 892
    I agree. Don't be on top.  Period. Don't have the kind of sex you don't want to have. 
    AngelinefrillyfunTennee
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    @Serenity has captured my dilemma wonderfully. Thank you.

    I am considering a call for help to determine where my leverage is and how best to apply it to avoid exploding the relationship. We both do have a history of avoiding conflict, him because he's a Nine and me because my parents argued and eventually divorced. I know it's something to work on.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
    Angelinefrillyfun
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