Do I reveal MMSL, MAP, and Forum to spouse so we can counsel hurting friends?

Reborn

forestleaf said:

Sadly, this is EXACTLY what I used to do to my husband when he was on the forum and I was not.  I know it sucks.  That was me.  Did this happen to you, @Reborn?

No, fortunately. However, I was on the NMMNG forums for a long time before I came here, and I've heard of this happening a few times. The one piece of advice in the NMMNG book that everyone on the forum there disagrees with, is to share it with your spouse.  

dalef

Another reason for not being interested is bad experiences in the past: for example, the book I read on dating (before my first date) said to pay lots of attention to her. After 3 months, she told me she didn't know me well enough to marry me (I had not got past asking her for a second date, and the other woman I had dated the night before was now numero uno). The second book I read was so bad, I threw it away.

ToBeTonyStark

 These are all good points. Different angles the same question. I'll throw a twist at this post… And maybe it's a thread-Jack… So if it is forgive me. Do you tell friends and family not in trouble about MMSLP?

My best friend lives out of state and I bought it for him for his birthday.  I sent him the primer with a note explaining that this was the book that to change my life. I have an ask him about it sense and he hasn't mentioned it so I'm guessing he's never read. .

 My 24-year-old son is engaged. I'm going to visit him next month for just him dad son time. My plan is to take the primer with me and to have a frank red pill discussion. 

 Have Any other posters done that ?

@jek I think you've done your level best. If the guys so pompous asnto return your books unread when your marriage is improving and his is in the shitter… He's beyond saving. You can lead a horse to water…

Jek

Thank you for the kind words, @ToBeTonyStark , but I don't deserve them.  You are referring to @WhereWasI ;

fordsvt

I do know that I will have the Red Pill talk with my son.  He's 12 so it's a few years away. 
I think suggesting the books represented here is a good Idea.  Why not? Your friends are going to wonder why you've changed so much.  It's not magic but hard work that pays off.  

Two refers I be made.
One co worker has been sleeping in the Bsmt at home for almost two years. Nice guy issues.  Sobriety for 8 years. 
no feed back yet.   

A couple  that we know. Their marriage is done.  Craig hasn't slept with Shawna in ten years.  She told my wife that.  Craig claims the marriage to be ok not bad.  So he claims.  WTF??  
Shawna hates him. Thinks he's a closet gay male. Is only staying till the kids are 18. Then shes gone.  

No feed back from him so far.  
Very odd these guys don't see the light.   

HildaCorners

I've been feeding my kids bits and pieces of MMSL ideas since I found the blog. My daughter even read the MAP book. To them, it's just part of the way the world really works (as opposed to the way people want the world to work).

Unless there's a better book out, I'll probably buy my son a copy of MMSLP when he's old enough to make use of the info.

I also mention the ideas to others, and if they seem interested, mention the website & books. I don't do much more — I'm basically showing the horse the way to the pond. If they're interested, they can do the research themselves.

beribboned

I wouldn't say you're fat and your mama dresses you funny so here's a book but my friends and I recommend books and blogs to each other all the time and I doubt it would be construed as insulting in that friendly context. My husband is a little puzzled by my interest in this forum (since it's not focused on our sexual dynamic) but he likes what I write.

WhereWasI

I appreciate all the comments.  It's been a while since I've checked in on this discussion.  I didn't realize all this was occurring.

I have 5 boys and you better believe they are getting a much better education and example of marriage, sexuality, and attraction than I ever did.  We have frank discussions about sexuality, what makes a woman worth knowing/pursuing, and how hormones play into the picture.  They see my wife and I kiss and play without shame. 

I'm still not sure when I will share the full MMSLP book with them.  I'm thinking it will be after a year or so of marriage once they've experienced some hardships and marriage dynamics that they can appreciate the nuances in the book.  Other than that, it will be frank conversations and discussions.  Plus, their dad just setting a good example of a former Mr Nice Guy turning things around.

Eightbit

The_Dude said:

@Angeline  Not sure why he's full of crap.  90% of my friends would react the way @Jek describes.  I would have reacted pretty much the same way until I was "at the end, no other hope, and LOOKING for a miracle".
In hindsight it seems stupid, but that doesn't change how most males in our culture are programmed.

Well this must mean I'm a special snowflake, because I was no where near the end of my rope when I found mmsl.  Of course I've never been accused of being normal either LOL!