telyni's MAP

HildaCorners

Ensign Corners just started high school, and he uses a pill box for his vitamins.

They can also be used to store tiny craft supplies, like beads.

forestleaf

I'm curious what kind of supplements you take?

telyni

@Avalinette Is it really your responsibility to make sure your husband does something he's already said he's going to do? That's the part that bugs me about the situation I described. For something at work, it would be fully his responsibility to handle what he said he would do. But at home I have to keep reminding him or shove stuff right in his way so that he actually does it? Having large objects put away properly shouldn't just be something I want in any case; it's one step toward making the house tidier and more usable for both of us. Of course, my husband clearly doesn't care about the house being tidy, based on many other things than this situation. This kind of thing makes me feel like I'm forced to treat him like a child "forgetting" to clean his room or something in order to get the result he'd already promised. "No dinner for you until you pick up your toys." I don't like that.

telyni

@forestleaf I take a prenatal (I'm still nursing and we plan to have a second child eventually), an omega-3, a probiotic, and extra vitamin D. I'm getting over 4k IU each day with these. Sometimes I take one of those immune-boosting Emergen-C packets, which has a gram of vitamin C and another 1k IU of vitamin D. They're great when you feel like you're coming down with something.

Avalinette

Well, it is hubby's responsibility to do his jobs that he said he'll do, but I've come to accept that there are jobs which I care about a lot more than he does and they're going to get done in a more timely manner if I take on the burden of remembering.

That said, my hubby is overall a responsible and hard-working guy, he already carries more responsibility than I do and does a great job looking after our family in the big stuff so it doesn't bother me to take on the responsibilty of reminding him of a few small things. I also know that this goes both ways, there are things in our house/family that should properly be my responsibility that I forget about because they're not as important to me as they are to him and so this also makes me more forgiving of hubby and willing to assist.

telyni

This last week I did well at keeping busy and moving forward on things. I didn't do a lot on the three items I listed, so those will be top things again next week. But I did some things from my original MAP list, and overall I kept myself in a productive frame rather than a lazy frame, especially after my husband left for a business trip, so I'll call the week a win overall.

I took the car in and got the tire pressure light cleared. Silly thing keeps triggering every time the weather gets colder. Apparently the tires were actually a bit low this time, but it wasn't enough to affect the handling. So all they could do was pump the tires up and clear the light. Again. But at least it's done, and they didn't charge me. Which was good because it was super busy and I waited an hour and a half for them to do only those things.

Girl game: I didn't go to Sephora yet, so I will probably go on Monday. I repainted my nails last night. Next time I'll try a different color. I tried a little mascara and managed to poke myself in the eye. I'm planning on getting my hair cut/trimmed at Ulta tomorrow, as there's a donation event going on.

Decluttering: I did get rid of the boxes of shredding. That will let me clean the entryway (which needs it anyway) and set up a better mail-handling area, which is kind of the first step toward reorganizing the office.

Physical: I didn't do any strength training, but I did lift heavy boxes of paper (over fifty pounds total) yesterday. I did take my supplements most days.

redheaded_woman

Why not just take the supplements at the same time every day - like first thing or last thing.

I do all my meds each night at bedtime.

telyni

This week is starting out poorly. Last week I kept busy and felt productive. This week I feel run-down and I've got a touch of a cold and my muscles ache. This seems to happen a lot, where I'm extra productive for a few days, and then I get sick and everything grinds to a halt. It's like my body can't sustain that level of activity for very long. It's not like I was out running a marathon or anything; I just planned my tasks, got out of the house every day for errands or events, and acted like an energetic adult.

I want to get a lot done while my husband is out of town, but right now I don't have the energy for much beyond taking care of the little one, who is often hard to occupy anyway. I have a lot of trouble just cooking, never mind cleaning and other things, because he constantly wants to be held or nursed or involved in what I'm doing. He often can't just play with his toys on the floor in the kitchen with me; he's got to be up on the counter watching what I'm doing. Flattering, but we really don't have enough counter space for that all the time. So it's hard to get things done around the house while he's awake, and also hard to get them done while he's asleep, because the house has a compact layout, so his bedroom is right next to the kitchen and sound carries throughout the house. Errands are actually easier: he loves people and new places and does very well when I take him with me shopping or whatever.

Angeline

Buy a $20 noisy box fan, park in his room pointed at the corner, and turn it on for white noise.

Sometimes the will to get things done comes from pure stubbornness, rather than more positive origins. However, several things you've said don't sound particularly healthy.

Have you ruled out health reasons for having such low blood pressure and low weight for height that you faint? Because that isn't normal.

telyni

Angeline said:

Have you ruled out health reasons for having such low blood pressure and low weight for height that you faint? Because that isn't normal.

Every doctor I've ever been to has said my blood pressure and weight are fine. I just got checked at the OB-GYN a few weeks ago. To clarify, I've only fainted under trauma, like when I fell down a flight of stairs, or when I cut my finger and lost a lot of blood. Once in a great while I'll get a little dizzy and my vision will black out momentarily if I get up too fast from a prone position, but that was always rare and very temporary and I can't remember the last time it's happened lately. I can't donate blood because I don't weigh enough, but nobody ever told me I was unhealthily thin or anything. After an active summer, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight of around 95 pounds at 4' 11" which has been pretty much ideal since college. During college one year I was eating like crap, went up past 100 pounds even though I was doing a ton of walking, and felt very unhealthy. I fixed that before I graduated. I wasn't even 90 pounds in high school, fwtw. During pregnancy, I never went beyond 120 pounds. I could stand to exchange a bit of fat for muscle and be a stronger 100 pounds, perhaps, but I don't think I should need to weigh any more than that. Also, I was a preemie baby from a family of small women (my mother is now shorter than I am) and always smaller than my age cohort my whole life. It's my genetics.

missesnesbit

I second the box fan idea. Both of my kids sleep with fans, and we have always lived in very small houses. I get all sorts of things done while they're napping.

Do you exercise? I used to have almost sloth-like energy levels before I started running and working out everyday. I have a very high energy son, and used to struggle with balancing regular housekeeping and keeping him busy enough. Now our days look something like this:

I workout in the morning or during naps and that usually perks me up enough to tackle the rest of the day. I also make a point to get out of the house to do something fun with the kids every day. My kids have come to expect this, and are usually better behaved when I need them to be because if it. We head to the park, or feed ducks, go for a walk, trampoline park, beach, whatever. Come 5:00 they are usually good keeping themselves busy for an hour while I do dinner and pick up the house before hubs gets home. Having 2 kids really does help with them needing me less at times though. 

telyni

@missesnesbit I don't really do workouts, but I get a lot of exercise just with the little one, and a MAP item I have is adding some strength training. Once he started walking, I took him on one or two and occasionally three walks per day, some as long as a mile. Weather permitting, I take him in a bike trailer on bike rides. I hold and lift him a lot - I'm still sore from holding him extra long this weekend when my husband wasn't around to help at an event. He's a very wiggly and active boy and prefers to run around public places rather than be held (but clingy at home), so if I want him to stay put, I either have to hold him (with a lot of strength) or put him in his stroller.

Yesterday we took two walks, a short one in the morning to get an errand done, and an hour at the park in the afternoon. This morning we went to the library. Both days I've napped during his nap and I'm definitely sneezy and stuffy and not energetic still.

For me, 5:00 is the worst time of day usually because I'm trying to cook dinner while dealing with the little one, who is often whining or tugging on my clothes or both, even when I've just nursed him. I can sometimes give him snacks or things to play with, but that generally only buys me a few minutes. Other times of day he's better about looking at his books or whatever while I get food together (although today he was pretty whiny around lunchtime - I was literally putting the food on the table - his favorite food, even - and he's standing there crying because I wouldn't pick him up - my hands were full!).

Katt

Cook ahead / freezer meals and crockpot dinners can greatly reduce your early evening workload.   A lot of tots are fussy and needy around that time; they are starting to get tired usually.   With mine, sensory and tactile activities like play doh seemed to help during early evening fussy time.   YMMV.   The biggest thing for me was reducing my pre-husband arriving home workload by cooking ahead and using the crockpot so I didn't  get so frazzled at that point.    

Angeline

I don't mean that your weight or your blood pressure is not normal, but that passing out is not normal. Ever. All of it combined points to something, I don't know what, but it isn't normal to pass out, it's a warning that something is wrong.

Have you ever talked to your doctors about the fainting? How long have you been a vegetarian? How strict are you about it? 

Angeline

"For me, 5:00 is the worst time of day usually because I'm trying to cook dinner while dealing with the little one, who is often whining or tugging on my clothes or both, even when I've just nursed him."

I think every mom will agree this is just a tough time of day. I cooked many a dinner with a toddler wailing and clinging to each leg. It is exhausting, I grant you that. Sometimes "dinner" was hotdogs or breakfast cereal! 

It would be great if you can come up with a specific cause for feeling exhausted and fix it, but certainly part of it just comes with the territory. It does get better as they get bigger and less dependent.

HowlAtTheMoon

Girl, you need a baby carrier, or a playpen, or babygates or something. Have a room that is gated and babyproofed where he can be alone for an hour while you get stuff done. He may whine at first, but he'll get over it. It doesn't make you a bad mom to put him somewhere safe for a bit.

redheaded_woman

You can get a used Pack & Play pretty inexpensively at Once Upon a Child if you have those near you.

If not, try another kids' consignment store.

You need to be able to put him in the pack & play and get stuff done. 

Tennee

We had the 'Baby Corral' gate thing - it was awesome to throw her in there with a bunch of toys.   She'd pull up and bounce all around it.  Also had the bouncy-seat-toy-station thingy.  She could hop up and down, spin around, there were various stations to make noise with, etc. 

Enjoy it while it lasts - today I'm telling her:  "How many hours have you been on that screen?  Turn.it.off"

telyni

Angeline said:

I don't mean that your weight or your blood pressure is not normal, but that passing out is not normal. Ever. All of it combined points to something, I don't know what, but it isn't normal to pass out, it's a warning that something is wrong.

Have you ever talked to your doctors about the fainting? How long have you been a vegetarian? How strict are you about it? 

I was a mostly strict vegetarian, nearly vegan, for 5-6 years, and then started eating salmon occasionally and eggs often after getting pregnant, to make sure I was getting enough protein and stuff for the baby. The two fainting episodes I mentioned both happened in college, several years before I was vegetarian.

When I fell down the stairs, I slipped because it was wet and landed hard on my tailbone, which was a shock to my system. I stood up too fast to go down the second half of the flight and blacked out momentarily, falling a second time. I was cushioned somewhat by my school bag, fortunately, and only got some bruises and a cut on my face. I have been exceptionally careful around stairs on wet days ever since. Other than that, I didn't think anything of it at the time.

@HowlAtTheMoon @redheaded_woman @Tennee I have an exersaucer in the kitchen which worked when the little one was younger, but now he hates being confined and won't tolerate it for long. Same with the pack and play, which is fine as a travel crib for sleeping, but not as a place to play. Mostly he plays with his toys in the living room. I could probably shut him in there for awhile to get things done in the kitchen or bedrooms. I would love to institute solo playtime in his own room, but I need to fix his doorknob first: it doesn't latch, and he's perfectly capable of pushing doors open. He can sometimes even turn doorknobs already, although he seems to have forgotten how sliding doors work.

redheaded_woman

TV? 

Micky Mouse Clubhouse and Doodlebops pretty much saved my sanity in my early mothering years.

Seriously, a half hour here & there so you can take a shower or fix lunch isn't a big deal.