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  • TwelveRubiesTwelveRubies New EnglandMember Posts: 85
    Happily waiting for my Ipsy bag right now! It's been a fun way to take time for myself and DHV...hope  you keep enjoying it!

    Can't give advice bc I am in the exact same boat, but a litter further behind regarding the T issue. Praying for you to have the strength and wisdom as you decide  how to go forward.
    telyni
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    This will probably be my last substantial update here. I've come a long way since I got here, a little over a year ago, but there's a long way to go yet. Thanks again to everyone who's encouraged me and helped push me out of my comfort zone. I will definitely miss this place. Writing out my thoughts has been a huge help, but a journal just for me wouldn't be the same at all.

    Hubby just received a significant raise at work, better than any of his colleagues. He also seems to have gotten serious about diet and exercise. His own weight gain has gotten his attention finally. Since this weekend, when he set up the new machine, he's been working out every morning.

    Last night he even said he was too energetic to just sit, for once, so I followed him downstairs to chat for a bit while he fiddled around with the machine some more, trying new moves. He was also using some kind of handheld gizmo to work his wrists and forearms. But I'm concerned he's going to overtrain or burn himself out if he keeps up this pace. I've said that to him, too. I asked him to make time for letting his muscles rest. But he's got the bit in his teeth and isn't listening to me, not that that surprises me. Given past experience, he's likely to exercise hard for a few weeks and then lose steam, especially when he has to go on a business trip in January.

    Of course, this has destabilized things in other ways too. Those of you following my thread saw the saga about meal planning a while ago. In the past couple of years, we'd gotten to a point where I had enough dishes in rotation that making a meal plan was annoying, but not too complicated most of the time. It wasn't great, and we still ordered takeout some of the time, but it was better than before we had our little one.

    Well, now he wants to minimize carbs and add lean meat, so he doesn't want at least half of the dishes I've been routinely making. Plus he wants me to cook lunches for him so he doesn't go out to eat so much, but he won't do sandwiches (bread). He suggested something like Indian butter chicken instead, made ahead and portioned out. I do think taking lunch is better than going out for multiple reasons, so I want to support him in this. But he doesn't want to take oatmeal for breakfast any more either, so he's asking me for new ideas for that too, since fruit and hardboiled eggs aren't enough. This feels like it will be like cooking three meals for two picky children when one of them isn't even here half the time. I'm not sure where to draw the line since I do want to encourage him to eat better and not go out so much.

    Realistically he probably does need more meat than I do (I'm still only eating tuna and salmon), especially if he's trying to gain muscle, since he doesn't like lentils and beans as much as I do. Plus since he's overweight, he'll do better on fewer carbs than I will. I get that. It's just going to be even more tricky to try to juggle everyone's needs for meals than it already was if I have to make a meat dish for him in addition to the rest of the meal. Not to mention cooking extra meals for lunches (which then can't be used in the dinner rotation, of course). I think he'd do a lot better on a good paleo-ish diet, but it's hard to make that happen when my body type is different and I don't eat paleo myself.

    I'd probably feel better about all this if I had attraction for him. I finally decided that the way I've been staying up later than him is not just a natural effect of him going to bed so early, but also my subconscious (body agenda?) telling me that I really don't want to go to bed with him. This is true even though the current agreement is no sex.

    This weekend he was upset that I took too long to finish getting ready for church when he'd already packed the little one into the car. He said, "You don't have to get all dolled up, you know." I'd done a tiny bit extra with makeup that day, that's all. Three extra minutes. But then later a (female) friend complimented me on the way I looked, so I was glad I'd done it. But nearly every time I do that sort of thing, hubby implies I shouldn't bother. Not that I'm going to stop, but it's getting really annoying. Then when I'm just dressed normally at home, he'll suddenly slap my butt or use some innuendo, and it's just totally weird. Based on his actions, he finds me more attractive when I'm dressed for comfort with no makeup than when I'm dressed up with makeup. I don't get it.

    Today we had a cookie exchange at the MOPS group. Nearly all of the cookies I made disappeared, plus I acquired an assortment of interesting cookies from the other mothers. Not the sort of thing hubby wants around right now, of course. Oh well. I'll probably share some with the neighbor mom. I don't plan to eat more than a few myself, either. My own cookies are reasonably healthy while not sacrificing taste, at least (but definitely not low-carb, lol).

    Other than that, I've just been struggling to deal with the cooking changes and keep up with exercise and occupy the boy when we can't go outside to play every day. That's three things, right? Onwards and upwards. Time to work on a revised MAP for 2017. I'll see some of you on the other side, wherever that turns out to be.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
    TenneeMrsJon
  • 42andatowel42andatowel United StatesSilver Member Posts: 325
    @telyni you could try something like this for breakfast ideas for him:

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/228091/paleo-omelet-muffins/

    You don't have to stick to that exact recipe, I'm sure these would work well with spinach and other fillers.  My wife made these for me, we kept a bag of them in the freezer, and I could just pop one or two in the microwave on my way out the door for work.

    I need to get back to something like that for breakfast, all the quicker/easier things haven't been working well for me.
    Tennee
  • MrsJonMrsJon ColoradoSilver Member Posts: 466
    Telyni  I agree with all the sentiments above about your H owning this and coming up with his own plans, but just a thought, if he can't eat sandwiches can you do a lettuce or cabbage leaf wrap with all his regular sandwhich fillings? Quick and easy and not much thought required.

    I went looking for my dreams outside of myself and discovered, it's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it.  
           Anne Shirley - Anne of Avonlea
                                              
    amblrgirlAngelinefrillyfunTennee
  • GraceyGracey USMember Posts: 119
    I'm nodding my head to @frillyfun's idea of asking him what he'll do about xyz issue. It's a way to start pushing back and getting him to take responsibility. 

    In our home I'm the head chef and I enjoy the role. I do a 3 week meal plan rotation since that's about how much meat I can store in my freezer. Like @Tennee I'm all about the huge packs of chicken from costco. I also get flank or skirt steak there when the prices are good. I mix up a big batches of marinade, portion the meats into zip loc bags, add marinade and stack in the freezer. Then I just pull one at a time from a stash and thaw in fridge. 

    I'll also second the 'learning to like beans' they are does friendly and you can make huge batches of soup / chili in a crock pot. Dinner for two and a few lunches done and dusted. 

    Good luck with this! 


    TenneeTwelveRubiestelyni
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    Lots of good ideas here. Thanks, everyone.

    @Angeline The instant pot sounds amazing. Hubby's on board with it. I think we're going to order one from Amazon shortly. I've already been using our crockpots fairly regularly, but it does require rather significant planning ahead to put the meal together early enough to let it cook all day or overnight, and I tend to make huge batches rather than a single dinner. What's this about it peeling eggs, though? If it makes better hardboiled eggs, that'd be a definite bonus. Both of us struggle with peeling the eggs I boil, even if I chill them right away after cooking.
    @Reborn said:
    Can't he get his meat ration at lunch time and then not have extra meat at dinner time?
    Yes, he's been doing that, and I think even if he takes his own lunch, it will need to be fairly meaty. The trick is that if he doesn't want most carbs, and I don't eat most meats, then what's left if we're eating the same dish for dinner? Salads? I'm going to have to make more dinners out of separate items just so we can avoid our respective things. It's just an extra complication on something that was already complicated.

    @HowlAtTheMoon and @Gracey I think it's more than just not liking the taste of beans and lentils. He can and does eat quite a few variations, like Indian lentil curry, and bean enchiladas, and lentil soup, and bean chili, but he often says that he gets issues like heartburn or indigestion if he eats too much of those. I love making a big pot of bean chili or soup, but he'll eat it once or twice and then refuse to eat any more of that batch because he's just done with beans for awhile. Which usually leaves me with four or five portions to eat by myself for the next week of lunches...

    @MrsJon He doesn't really have sandwich fillings either, so sandwiches are pretty much just a lost cause. Good idea, though. I could ask him if he'd like a tuna salad lettuce wrap. Anything else, and he'd probably just make it a salad.

    @42andatowel and @Tennee I liked the egg muffin idea so much that I went ahead and made a half batch of them tonight so he can try them for the next couple of days. If he really hates the idea for whatever reason, I'll eat them myself, but I think he'll at least try them. Thanks.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
    TenneeamblrgirlMrsJon
  • LeticiaLeticia Silver Member Posts: 102
    @HowlAtTheMoon and @Gracey I think it's more than just not liking the taste of beans and lentils. He can and does eat quite a few variations, like Indian lentil curry, and bean enchiladas, and lentil soup, and bean chili, but he often says that he gets issues like heartburn or indigestion if he eats too much of those. I love making a big pot of bean chili or soup, but he'll eat it once or twice and then refuse to eat any more of that batch because he's just done with beans for awhile. Which usually leaves me with four or five portions to eat by myself for the next week of lunches...
    How do you cook your beans?
  • LennyLenny AustraliaMember Posts: 123
    I steam or bake my hard boiled eggs and I do them by the dozen. Shell comes off super easy. When I'm boiling rice, I will wack the steamer on top. When I'm baking, I wack a tray in the oven. Takes a similar time to hard boiling in water but way easier.
    frillyfun
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    @Leticia It depends on the dish, I guess. Some things we eat are usually premade, so we just heat them up, like Indian curries. Other things I make from scratch. For enchiladas, I toss a can of black beans into a pan with sauteed onions and peppers, plus salsa and spices and such, then wrap and bake the mix in the oven. For chili, I just toss a variety of dry beans into the crockpot with the other veggies and spices and add plenty of water. After it's done, blend it up a little, then cheese and onion and oyster crackers on top...yum! (Might be time for another batch of chili pretty soon...)

    Every so often he complains about tomato sauces causing heartburn, too. I make something Italian once or twice a week usually. The most recent time, he actually ate the bean pasta instead of the wheat pasta for once, when in the past he's complained about the bean pasta. But he didn't want the carbs, so that was his only other choice at the time.
    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
    Leticia
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