Where (and when) should I start?

dalef

@LL80 Yes, there will be a "special snowflake" for MM; but he shouldn't worry about whether a woman he dates gets hurt because she thought she would be the one.

sf64

AlphaVsBeta said:

I remember @sf64 talking about "I" and her being OK with being a plate, because she was ok with playing the long game, and being sexually available, and being fun to be with, all as a requirement to get the high value male that @sf64 is. Some ladies see that as a losing strategy, as there is no guarantee that their time and efforts will turn into anything, and many of the other ladies that @sf64 ;dated told him as much. It ended up being a winning strategy for "I"...

I think as long as your honest about your intentions, and your a genuinely good/awesome high value man (as MM is), some women will be willing to play the long game.

if I recall, "I" is from Eastern Europe, so that may have helped her be more pragmatic about the modern dating world.

It was in the end a winning strategy for "I."   As @Athol_Kay said above, "Many will be entered, one will win... maybe."  She bet on her ability to win.

Since I was tagged... I went through and read this thread.  A few observations.

Your odds of finding that super-high-value woman is depended on three things: (a) you become the most incredible / awesome version of yourself you can be - running an ruthless MAP; (b) understanding "game" and the nature of female attraction.... and integrating "game" into every interaction with women; and (c) putting yourself in situations where you can interact with super-high-value women.

My plate-spinning was one of the ways that I kept myself from jumping into a committed relationship too quickly.  I was a wounded soul.  And it would have been easy to "fall for" a woman whose primary quality is that she wanted me.  We all want and need affirmation.  It think that post-divorce that need is probably pretty high.  We need to feel validated.  We need to feel like, "hey, I am not unattractive."  We need both the dopamine and oxytocin.  But that need can cause us to "sell ourselves short."

As I reflect back on my plate-spinning days, I am sure that hurt a number of the women I dated.  In know that I was honest with them.  But that doesn't mean they didn't get hurt.  Just as a woman can be honest with her beta orbiters... but they end up hurt too.

The only real advice I have for you is to be
- very cognizant of what is going on in your head;
- be honest with the women you date and with yourself;

And flirt shamelessly with virtually any female that crosses your path.  It establishes a pattern that helps you understand your worth and attractiveness.

As an aside, I encouraged a friend to do this when he was going on a recent business trip and he ended up having a couple of fantastic dinners with some super-high value women including a gorgeous former Olympian... because he stopped her in the hall, flirted with her, and asked her where the gym was located in the hotel.

Reborn

Angeline said:

I firmly believe "soul mate" stuff is a recipe for misery and unrealistic expectations. 200 years ago people paired off with whoever lived in the same village.

To me, what @Angeline is saying here is the essence of the red pill. 

The human species, like pretty much every other species from insects upwards, has a mating behaviour and sequence. It's not a matter of rational, cognitive considerations. To a human in the evolutionary environment, you got presented with maybe ten or a few tens of potential partners who were the right sex, age range, and not already taken. You had to make a choice. And the species mating strategy says which sex makes the first choice. One sex says "you! yes or no?" and the other responds. I wonder how many people out there in the manosphere who think themselves red pill, have thought about which sex makes the choice first and why? 

But the choice was pretty limited, and the basic strategy was to stick with the pair bonding, with possible extra-marital infidelities that were not intended to break the pair. This is red pill 101.  And looking high and low for "the one" that would satisfy some tick list of criteria was not part of it.

thisisjen

As @sf64   said  be cognizant of what's going on in your head.   That is easier said than done.   When I began dating after my marriage crumbled I was like a thirsty person presented with a cold drink.   It was soooo satisfying to be wanted, validated appreciated, that I  wasn't sure how I was really feeling.   The very first guy I dated kept asking me if my feelings were deeper than I had intended....I kept saying no, but I was wrong.  I just didn't know how to gauge it.  

There's a huge difference between dating and LTR. And it was hard to switch back to that after being married for 15 years.

Take your time ...you have so many choices you don't need to rush<~~ Thats what I would go back and tell newly single me.

Reborn

Hmm. Everyone seems to be saying that. I wonder if it could be true.