Could it be a sign of progress? He's offering up dominate sex, and for whatever reason you're not into it that moment, so you go after what you'd prefer instead.
It doesn't sound like a bad thing at all. Am I missing something?
We evolve. Our sex lives evolve. I'd hate to stuck with just one flavor of sex throughout an entire marriage.
What you are describing is what every beta, unsure, hesitant guy had to go through when trying on the dominant persona, just so you can empathize with the discomfort. It ain't all that easy, is it? It's hard work being the one who brings the take-charge energy. It's hard work being the one in charge.
So, I'll tell you what we say to the guys - don't go squishy on him. If you want to run the scenario, then do so. Own it.
He has the same responsibility to step up and throw out the stop sign as you do.
If he does, be OI about it, because it is a pretty significant change from what you thought you wanted a few years ago. At that point, you guys will have to discuss some things. But until then, take him to pound town!
Erm. Or something.
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
Although we don't really talk about it, there's a fair bit of this in our sex life, and I love it. Over the years we've played around some with giving and taking dominance. It's a fluid thing that might change back and forth more than once during sex, and it's hot. as. fuck. It's also something that cycles in and out of our sex life... we might go 6 months or longer where I'm in charge of everything sexually, and then she just gets in a mood for awhile where she wants to exert her sexuality in a more dominant way. I can't speak for your husband, but it always brings a smile (OK more of a shit eating grin) to my face when I see this happening. Variety... it's the spice of life.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy, if not, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
@Winter my W could have easily written your post...
Although we've never spoken about it in red pill terms, after I found my dominance, sometimes hesitantly, sometimes brazenly, initially it was a helluva dopamine kick for Wifey. Exciting I bet. Beta and stale to Alpha and unpredictable. I was shit scared because it was a new frame but I'm over that now and funnily enough W is not so enamoured with the out-and-out dominance. We have been through a stage where she counter-mapped my dominance in the bedroom. Possibly looking to ensure her status was not left behind relative to her partner? Sometimes I let her because it was fun but every now and then I physically over-ruled... because I can. Now we are into subtle exploration of the power play, I'll pin her wrists and she'll move my hands to her mouth. I'm dominant but she's active in being submissive. Every now and then she just gets fed up with being on the receiving end and REALLY tries to physically show her strength. I like this, she has no chance, but I let her do it a little. As for what the next stage is... I have no idea but @Monkeys_Uncle is spot on, it evolves.
You're aware, you're communicating, your needs are being met some of the time... enjoy the ride. All the best in the post-forum apocalypse
“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man” Madame de Staël
Lol. No I worry that 'too much' is me being a selfish control freak. I feel great about bringing my whole self to my husband and enjoying sex with him. It's awesome.
Perspective. You gotta have it.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. -Joseph Campbell
Comments
It doesn't sound like a bad thing at all. Am I missing something?
We evolve. Our sex lives evolve. I'd hate to stuck with just one flavor of sex throughout an entire marriage.
So, I'll tell you what we say to the guys - don't go squishy on him. If you want to run the scenario, then do so. Own it.
He has the same responsibility to step up and throw out the stop sign as you do.
If he does, be OI about it, because it is a pretty significant change from what you thought you wanted a few years ago. At that point, you guys will have to discuss some things. But until then, take him to pound town!
Erm. Or something.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy, if not, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
Although we've never spoken about it in red pill terms, after I found my dominance, sometimes hesitantly, sometimes brazenly, initially it was a helluva dopamine kick for Wifey. Exciting I bet. Beta and stale to Alpha and unpredictable. I was shit scared because it was a new frame but I'm over that now and funnily enough W is not so enamoured with the out-and-out dominance. We have been through a stage where she counter-mapped my dominance in the bedroom. Possibly looking to ensure her status was not left behind relative to her partner? Sometimes I let her because it was fun but every now and then I physically over-ruled... because I can. Now we are into subtle exploration of the power play, I'll pin her wrists and she'll move my hands to her mouth. I'm dominant but she's active in being submissive. Every now and then she just gets fed up with being on the receiving end and REALLY tries to physically show her strength. I like this, she has no chance, but I let her do it a little. As for what the next stage is... I have no idea but @Monkeys_Uncle is spot on, it evolves.
You're aware, you're communicating, your needs are being met some of the time... enjoy the ride. All the best in the post-forum apocalypse
"I want my wife but I don't NEED her" @Nubby
:-D
merry christmas!
============================
Fuck Culture. Live your life - Beatrice
Perspective. You gotta have it.