Confused about Displaying High Value in Non-Physical Ways

mrsthing

Hi everyone,

So I'm confused about how I can display high value.  I am in shape, I work out several times a week, clean diet etc.  I am really very good with all the physical stuff - hair, makeup etc.  Basically if my H isn't attracted to me for these reasons, I'm not sure I can do different or better other than completely change my appearance with surgery or something. 

I also have a lot of friends and hobbies.  I'm independent. I'm kind to my H and he always tells me I am smart and interesting.  I plan fun things for us, I am happy to go along on trips he wants to take ie sporting events. I'm not the greatest housekeeper but I hired someone to clean so it looks great in here.  I've done some decorating to make the house look nicer and my H seems very happy about this.

Are there other things I can do?  Sorry if this is a stupid question!

HowlAtTheMoon

You do it by taking control of your life and doing the necessary.  You do what you did with the second car situation. 

I'll just repost @frillyfun 's post in your other thread since she pretty much covered it.

"Whoa Nelly....I just realized who you are.  You have quite a few threads so it took me a second to put two and two together.You DHV in every single way you know how, and are here asking for more ways to be a better wife.  Which is awesome, and I know you've been through a lot, but you've also accomplished a lot too.Take control of the finances if that's how he's going to behave.   Anyone who thinks living in a trailer in NY is a good idea is just someone you don't want Captaining the checkbook.   I've lived in a trailer- it's cheaper to live in a house because trailers cost a ton to heat.  I think you're close to Laid, Trayed, and Maid territory.  You're not here because you don't have your personal act together.  You're here because of mate selection, and because you let him get away with his BS.  You earn a lot of the money that comes in, so not having a second car shouldn't have ever been an issue.  You should have stood up for yourself much earlier.  That's just the tip of the iceberg.I'm not thinking especially clearly today- I have a cold, and it's the day before Thanksgiving, but submitting, and trying to hand him leadership opportunities aren't going to get you the changes that you want/need.Being done-like you said on your other thread is a good frame.  It's time for him to come up to your level.  Get your solid GO plan in place.  Think really hard about what you want from him, schedule a coaching call, and start hitting phase 4, 5, and 6 if you have to. "