Are you sure you just couldn't stand to be alone for one night? Btw, who initiated the conversation? I'm not questioning your decision, but in the past week, look how often you have wavered.
I am fine being alone. In any case my ex was eager to get back together so that was always an option. It was my gf who initiated the conversation. I think i had taken her for granted and did not appreciate her friendship because i was distracted by the availability of hot nearby sex with my unstable ex. After breaking up i realized how much i would miss my gf. We have great conversations, she is a good person with a positive attitude and she has always been supportive and good to me. I have always enjoyed her company and was perfectly happy with her until getting distracted by my ex.
She deserves to know about your repeated choice to cheat on her while she thought you were committed and exclusive. Otherwise she isn't making the decision with all the necessary info. If you come clean with her and she still chooses to move forward with you that's cool. Otherwise what you are doing is a power play. Not cool.
The only thing coming clean would do would be to hurt her. My gf is recovering from low self esteem after being married to a jerk who told her all the time that she was unattractive. If she found out that i was cheating on her it would be devastating to her. She used to be overweight but is in pretty good shape after going on a diet and losing 90 pounds. She is very self conscious about her appearance. I feel a great deal of guilt for what i did and will never do it again. If anything, it has made me appreciate what a good thing i have.
The only thing coming clean would do would be to hurt her. ... My gf is recovering from low self esteem after being married to a jerk who told her all the time that she was unattractive.
And now she's dating a guy who cheated on her and isn't going to come clean. I think you should tell her so she can make a clear-eyed choice. She's making life choices that affect her and her kids. A relationship built on lies -- not a good idea.
You don't want to tell her because you're afraid she'd break up with you. Let her manage her own feelings. If you didn't want to hurt her, really, you wouldn't be in this position.
And I Quote "The ex lives about 2 minutes away whereas the gf lives in another town 45 minutes away. I do get to see my gf fairly often but the distance thing is annoying. Also the sex is much better with my ex. The window of opportunity for dating my ex is closing because she is out of patience. So i have to choose between a stable relationship with my girlfriend which is not sexually satisfying or reuniting with my hotter ex that i have amazing sex with but is potentially less stable."
Not trying to pile on you but this is you...a week ago. You know there are other fish in the sea
"How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live."
You started dating your girlfriend in October. One month later you became exclusive. A month after that your ex started sniffing around. Soon after that you started fucking your ex on the sly. Now you say you want to get back with your girlfriend and you want to protect her by not revealing that you cheated on her.
I am not trying to say you are a bad person. What I am saying is that right now you seem like a poor risk for a LTR.
You (and your girlfriend and your crazy ex and any other woman who might come into your life) will be much better off if you take a bit of time to sort out your own head. You are going in a hundred directions at once.
Last night went out with girlfriend and she got pretty drunk and had no filter. She complained that she was always the one initiating sex, that she didn't think I found her attractive and that she wanted me to want her. It was late at night and she was drunk and in no shape to drive home (45 minutes away) so I didn't confirm what she was sensing, but I am not that attracted to her. I enjoy her company and we have fun together, but the chemistry in the bedroom is not there for me. When we do have sex its ok but i don't look forward to it and I don't really initiate. She went on the pill and gained some weight. She is now off the pill and is going to get an iud. She is working on losing the weight and drinks these cleansing smoothies for breakfast and is doing a 5k training plan. So it is possible that she could get in shape and I would be more attracted to her. Also, I'm not turned on by the non sexy underwear she typically sports. But I don't know if I should hang in there and hope things get better or go ahead and bail. This morning she acted like she didn't remember what she had said last night because she was drunk. And she wants me to meet her kids this weekend. So I'm feeling like maybe I should go ahead and end things but I want to do it without hurting her more than is needed. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
You started dating your girlfriend in October. One month later you became exclusive. A month after that your ex started sniffing around. Soon after that you started fucking your ex on the sly. Now you say you want to get back with your girlfriend and you want to protect her by not revealing that you cheated on her.
I am not trying to say you are a bad person. What I am saying is that right now you seem like a poor risk for a LTR.
You (and your girlfriend and your crazy ex and any other woman who might come into your life) will be much better off if you take a bit of time to sort out your own head. You are going in a hundred directions at once.
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
With all you have said, you would likely be better off ending it now. If your attraction is so tenuous now, how would it be in 10 years? It sounds like ending it now would be doing both of you a favor. Just my 2 cents
Comments
You don't want to tell her because you're afraid she'd break up with you. Let her manage her own feelings. If you didn't want to hurt her, really, you wouldn't be in this position.
"The ex lives about 2 minutes away whereas the gf lives in another town 45 minutes away. I do get to see my gf fairly often but the distance thing is annoying. Also the sex is much better with my ex. The window of opportunity for dating my ex is closing because she is out of patience. So i have to choose between a stable relationship with my girlfriend which is not sexually satisfying or reuniting with my hotter ex that i have amazing sex with but is potentially less stable."
Not trying to pile on you but this is you...a week ago.
You know there are other fish in the sea
You started dating your girlfriend in October.
One month later you became exclusive.
A month after that your ex started sniffing around.
Soon after that you started fucking your ex on the sly.
Now you say you want to get back with your girlfriend and you want to protect her by not revealing that you cheated on her.
I am not trying to say you are a bad person. What I am saying is that right now you seem like a poor risk for a LTR.
You (and your girlfriend and your crazy ex and any other woman who might come into your life) will be much better off if you take a bit of time to sort out your own head. You are going in a hundred directions at once.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
Just my 2 cents