Should I stop dyeing my hair and go grey?

I got my first grey hair at age 19. Now nearly twenty years later, more than half my hair is grey/white. For a few years now I've used permanent darkest brown hair dye to dye my grey roots every three weeks. It works pretty well, I still suit very dark hair and get a lot of compliments on my mane of hair :) I'm pale but dark haired - lots of people say I look like a young Catherine Zeta Jones but with light grey eyes. I'll take that!

Now? I'm fed up of dyeing my hair. Both the hassle and putting horrible chemicals on me. I'm petrified I'm going to get cancer or similar from dark hair dye. I'd grown a silver streak at the front for a month whilst looking for a dye without PPD in. I found one, but I'm seriously considering just growing my hair out without dyeing it any more.

I am pretty young for a headful of grey hair. I've felt older looking in the mirror. I don't dislike how it looks but I do feel it ages my face. Plus I wonder if as someone who people usually think is ten years younger, how I'm going to be perceived with a young face but grey hair.

Thoughts?
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Comments

  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    Gray hair does make you look older. There's no way around that ... the only thing that makes a woman look older than having gray hair is being old and having a bad dye job.

    I developed gray hair fairly late, but I can take 10 years off my age by dyeing my hair. I go for a light red-brown, and use a demi-permanent so I can go longer between dye sessions ... my grays show, but it looks natural.

    If you do go gray, it's important to look expensive and youthful — not like a kid, but like a wealthy woman in her late 20s. A good hairstyle and makeup will go a long way to making you look sexy and not too old.

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
    judyjudy
  • BeatriceBeatrice USAGold Women Posts: 1,175
    edited January 14
    You can always change your mind and dye it again if the gray doesn't work for you.

    I have dark hair that is probably 25 - 30% gray with a silver stripe running through it, and I love my hair. (The stripe looks a lot like Stacy London's.) I am also about 15 years older than you, so that's a factor. I hate the texture of my hair when it is colored, although I think that is all in my head, not a real problem. Lol. I did color my hair for a lot of years since I developed gray hair early.

    I have always found silver hair on a young face and trim body to be very attractive for both men and women.

    ETA:  If your hair is dark, then 50% gray hair isn't really gray.  It's gunpowder. :)
    We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  -Joseph Campbell
    frillyfunjudyjudy
  • MariaMaria EuropeCategory Moderator** Posts: 5,323
    edited January 14
    I'm gonna dye till the day that I die.


    The problem is, if you really want expensive, youthful looking silver hair - it's going to cost you. A lot. In time and care.
    No other hair colour is more expensive than good looking grey or silver.
    Only very few women look great and young wearing their natural, greying hair IMO.
    _____________________________________________________________________________
    If you want us to be unapologetically feminine, be unapologetically masculine.
    SignorePillolaRossaforestleafHildaCornersjudyjudy
  • JellyBeanJellyBean Sunny SoCalGold Women Posts: 5,054
    Grey hair is actually very popular right now. Many young people are actually coloring their hair grey. Why not let it go grey and see how you like it? I agree with @Beatrice. Just give it a shot. You can always go back to coloring it. It's just hair -- it grows back. 
    Enneagram type 9w1
    BeatriceScarletjudyjudy
  • JellyBeanJellyBean Sunny SoCalGold Women Posts: 5,054
    My husband's hair started turning silver in his teen years. Now at 42 he is about 95% salt and 5% pepper. It looks amazing on him. Lucky. 
    Enneagram type 9w1
    Beatricejudyjudy
  • WildflowerWildflower USASilver Member Posts: 277
    I am in the process of letting my freak flag fly - grey hair and all! My hair is exceptionally thick and grows very quickly to start with; so dying it made it even thicker, harder to manage, and I had to go every four weeks to the salon to cover the roots (I tried to stretch it by going blond and dying every 6-8 weeks; but that was a disaster with my coloring and it destroyed my hair). It was time consuming, expensive, and I really don't like piling on the chemicals. Plus, skin color changes with menopause; so a hair color that looked good on you in your 30s/40s, won't necessarily transition with you as you hit that life change. 

    I have gotten a really good cut (lots of layers and about five inches off) to remove the damaged hair and am now doing a brunette colored glaze. It lasts me about six weeks and fades, so the grey skunk line isn't as noticeable. My hair feels great. I will get it cut every twelve weeks for the remainder of the year. Once all the color is out, then I will let the glaze fade out and will grow my hair to mid-back (it's just below my shoulders now). 

    I am 50 now and my dad, aunt, and grandmother all went gray at this age. My dad and grandmother never colored their hair and yes, it initially aged them; but when they started hitting 60, 70, 80, and 90, people *always* commented on how they don't/didn't look a day older than 55. Why? Because they are pretty much etched in time at 50-55 slot with the grey hair. My aunt on the other hand, did dye her hair up through to her late 60's and then decided to ditch the color. She aged about 20 years doing that and regrets ever coloring her hair. She told me recently that she wishes she had just sucked it up at 50, lived with the short-term vanity crisis, so that she too, could've enjoyed the "you haven't aged a bit" remarks in her golden years. 

    SignorePillolaRossafrillyfunWinterjudyjudy
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    IMO having grey hair ages a person, especially a woman.  If you were to become single again in the (near) future your best possible bet would be to NOT have grey hair.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    Crashaxethisisjenjudyjudy
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    I just became a redhead (dark) a few days ago and it looks, interesting, I think.  I normally have sandy blonde hair.  I'm part Irish so you'd think red would look good on me.  I'm not sure yet.  Overall I think it's a mistake to start the dyeing process by doing a dark color because you set a precedent for having to continue to dye it forever and ever.  So I broke my own rule.  :(

    @judyjudy since you have the dark dye already in, what is your plan for growing out the gray?  Is there any chance you could add some blonde, or would that not work well with your coloring?  I ask because when you have blonde in there, it's not so noticeable when roots begin to grow out.  It's way more obvious when you have dyed it a dark color and grays start growing out.
    Mariajudyjudy
  • growingafamilygrowingafamily chicagoSilver Member Posts: 1,841
    I'm not gonna lie, when middle aged women have blonde highlights, it pretty much screams "covering up gray hairs over here" and just starts to look gray after a while. When younger women have the same, it makes them look older, not in a good way.
    thisisjen
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    @growingafamily, what do you think the alternative is for those women? 

    Asking for a friend.  :)
  • growingafamilygrowingafamily chicagoSilver Member Posts: 1,841
    just stick with a medium color all over. do the roots more often. 

    Uh I just had a lightbulb moment. I've been kind of astonished at how young I think I and my slightly older peers look compared to how old I thought people our age looked when I was a kid. I thought it was just an age/perception thing but I'm remembering now how much blonde highlights and terrible short haircuts were in style in the late 80's/early 90's when I was a kid, and I'm sure that has something to do with it. More women are going longer and with less blonde these days, and for the better.
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    .

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    Hmm.  I've been doing blonde highlights intermittently since I was 13.  Maybe I'm stuck in the 80s.  :p
    judyjudy
  • CrashaxeCrashaxe Partytown, which is wherever I am.Gold Men Posts: 1,243
    No.

    “I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.” General James Mattis, USMC

    judyjudy
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
  • AngelineAngeline planting seedsCategory Moderator** Posts: 14,501
    He was answering the OP.
    "Speak your truth." - Scarlet
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    Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
    Be married, until you are not.

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    Crashaxe
  • CrashaxeCrashaxe Partytown, which is wherever I am.Gold Men Posts: 1,243
    edited January 15
    Just my opinion, but I find women with grey hair less attractive than women who have their hair colored, even though I know that women past a certain age generally need to use dye. It is an instinctive reaction for me from first glance, probably generated by my lizard brain regarding fertility.

    It might not be logical, but it is definitely an issue for me. 

    This was supposed to be part of the post that said "No", but my computer's electrons went squirrely on me. The post submitted and my computer restarted.

    “I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.” General James Mattis, USMC

    Angelineforestleafjudyjudy
  • growingafamilygrowingafamily chicagoSilver Member Posts: 1,841
    @forestleaf  blonde highlights on "sandy blonde" hair aren't really what I mean. it's when it's on medium hair, or worse, dark hair. 
    Winterfrillyfunthisisjen
  • WinterWinter The Island of MisFit ToysGold Women Posts: 955
    Yes, you have beautiful hair @forestleaf the blond looked totally natural and the red rocks! 

    Lots of frosted blond looking highlights on my color hair not so much. Dead giveaway. 

    Angelineforestleaf
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