Always Felt So Homely- HELP!

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Comments

  • BettyBetty Member Posts: 11
    @Maria, I think i might give belly dancing a try.  I've thought about it a bit and really warmed up to the idea.  :)

    @SaigoTakamori, Documenting day by day on an online forum is way out of my comfort zone, so I think I might skip that....but I have been working every day on something.  Mostly it's hair, makeup, and clothes, but I've also made an effort to get out of the house more often.

    @Angeline, It was a combination of factors that kept me from cosplaying, but body image was one of them.  All the female cosplayers seemed to be so tall and skinny and I'm, well, short and wide. 
    I haven't read Mindful Attraction yet, but I have been making a daily effort to try something new, whether it's experimenting with makeup, hairstyles, or just getting out there and being seen.  I've been scouring Groupon, too, because dance classes are not that cheap (and I am that cheap...). 
     
    @Mongrel, I definitely like steampunk, but dang those costumes are expensive.  I could definitely give it a try, though.

    @NeverSleptOnTheCouch, Thank you so much for the encouragement!  Audrey Hepburn was one of my favorite actresses as a kid, so that's especially high praise!
    KattTenneeshibari
  • SaigoTakamoriSaigoTakamori FLSilver Member Posts: 3,075
    ^^^^^Ba Bam!^^  up there.

    I reiterate..

    See it
    Say it (out loud, accountability)
    DO IT
    Sweat More...bitch less
    Fate favors the prepared.
  • Frank_LondonFrank_London in transitSilver Member Posts: 1,853
    edited February 10
    How about we let people use the site in the way they see best?
    @Betty's getting value from asking questions that are important to her. And that's great.
    Keep asking questions, @betty. We will answer if we can.
    JellyBean
  • SaigoTakamoriSaigoTakamori FLSilver Member Posts: 3,075
    ^^^^^^Ba Bam x2 ^^^
    Sweat More...bitch less
    Fate favors the prepared.
  • SaigoTakamoriSaigoTakamori FLSilver Member Posts: 3,075
    How about we let people use the site in the way they see best?
    @Betty's getting value from asking questions that are important to her. And that's great.
    Keep asking questions, @betty. We will answer if we can.
    Because.....The way they are thinking....Now,  is getting them the results they are having...Now..
    Obviously she is not happy with the current results

    So:.

    In order to get ....Different results..we have to .....Change  the way we think...and that requires....Action

    There Are No Shortcuts.
    It aint easy.   It's Worth It

    I thought you knew this.

    Betty, you keep keeping on. Read and heed @Angeline   she knows what she is talking about.
    Sweat More...bitch less
    Fate favors the prepared.
    SignorePillolaRossaPersephoneamblrgirl
  • Tiger_LilyTiger_Lily Silver Member Posts: 772
    @Betty how are things?
  • SallyManderSallyMander Silver Member Posts: 2,087
    I'm very sorry to hear that.

    In due time, will consider getting another dog? One of the many benefits of owning a dog is socializing with other dog owners. I miss that.
    BeatriceMariaShepardHowlAtTheMoon
  • Tiger_LilyTiger_Lily Silver Member Posts: 772
    I am so sorry, Betty...
    Katt
  • somanychickenssomanychickens N/AMember Posts: 38
    I was about to comment on your intro post, but then saw what you wrote yesterday. I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm sure she was a beautiful creature and a wonderful companion to you. Take care of yourself.
  • BettyBetty Member Posts: 11
    Hi everyone.  I am so sorry for how long I have been away.  I left all of you hanging after you were kind enough to try and help me.  The only defense I have is that I have been having a very difficult time lately, but I know that's no excuse.  If everyone is still willing to listen, I can update you all on how things are going and what I've done to work towards my goal.  If not, I totally understand and I'll leave you all alone.  Thank you again for your kind words (both for me and for my poor puppy) and for your help.  It really has meant quite a lot to me.

  • BettyBetty Member Posts: 11

    Thanks!

    Lots of changes, both big and small. As far as big changes, I got a job in a different state and will be moving soon. I currently live in Florida and have been saying for two years how much I hate it and want to move back to New England, so I'm finally doing it. I also adopted a new puppy.  I felt pretty guilty getting a new dog so soon after my girl died, but I was really missing having a pet.

    Smaller, day-to-day changes...let's see. I'm making a definite effort to pay more attention to what I wear.  I never really noticed how much size Large clothing I wear, considering I'm usually a Small to XSmall...  I also make a point to wear at least some makeup every time I go out, even if it's just to the supermarket. I've also stopped wearing my ratty old sneakers unless it's to go for a walk or to walk my dog.  I have no pictures for you all. I honestly just forget.  I never take pictures of myself usually.

    I'm also working on small talk with strangers.  People seem to be responding well to it, so either they're super polite or I'm not doing too badly.

    I got a copy of The Mindful Attraction Plan and am reading through it.  I took an enneagram test and got 6w5, which sounds about right.

    Things I know I still need to work on: I need to get out of the house more.  I still tend to stay at home unless I absolutely have to go somewhere.  I've also hit kind of a wall with my hair.  It's very fine and breaks easily, so it's perpetually a frizzy mess.  I've Googled like crazy to try and fix it, but nothing I try seems to work.  I've seen some people say heat styling will keep it from looking frizzy, but I know from experience that my hair doesn't do well with heat.  I asked my hairdresser if there was something wrong with my hair, but she said that it looks very healthy, it's just naturally fragile  :/ . I tried some de-frizzing products and nothing.  As far as styles, I've been trying variations of half-up half-down.  It's a style I like, and it keeps my hair from falling into my face.  I don't know if it's my hair or what, but every time I try leaving it completely down I end up looking like Samara from The Ring in a matter of a couple of hours.  I can do ponytails okay, but I have always heard that men prefer hair down, so I want to try to stay away from too many updos.  Besides, I'm tired of having literally one hairstyle day in and day out.

    That's all I can think of at the moment. :)

    ScarletBeatricenever_again
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    Next time you're in the salon, ask the hairdresser whether coloring your hair might help. Coloring can thicken fine hairs a bit, and make them easier to manage ... but I don't know if the breakage would be better or worse.

    Coloring doesn't have to be a big change ... you can stay with your natural color, just go a bit richer.

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
  • BettyBetty Member Posts: 11
    @HildaCorners I'm by no means a hair expert, but everything I've read says that dyeing makes breakage worse.  It makes the hair look fuller by lifting up the cuticle, but that also makes it more fragile.  I wouldn't mind more body, but not if it means more breaking. 

    Today I tried a new conditioner specifically for frizz AND an anti-frizz serum and still a mess :/.
    HildaCorners
  • frillyfunfrillyfun East PodunkGold Women Posts: 3,386
    Sally's has a semi-permanent no ammonia, no peroxide color that for some reason works beautifully for taming frizz.  It's literally the only thing that has worked for me.  It's a Clairol product, and you don't have to mix it with anything.

    While you're there grab a packet of Apogee Protein treatment.  It's amazing for fighting breakage. 

    Dye first, then the treatment.
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