Always Felt So Homely- HELP!

Maria

Hi and welcome back!
Remind me, have you perchance gotten a new haircut?
If not, I highly recommend it. Try a layered cut.
I'm not a believer in most supplements, but if your hair breaks that easily you could try some: Make sure they contain silicic acid, vitamin B, zinc and folic acid. Most of them are inexpensive and worth a try. Don't expect results too early; it takes about three to four weeks until you notice stronger hair sprouting.
The hair that's already there can't be strengthened as it's dead   but I found that the Dove Intensive Repair conditioner just works miracles when it comes to helping with frizz, adding smoothness and brilliance and giving hair an overall healthy look. Perhaps you can get a sample, so that you don't end up with dozens of different conditioners.

MrsB

if you want strong hair, you need a killer diet with plenty of fat. Try making your own bone broth and drinking a cup everyday. Beef bones covered in water with some seasalt in the slow cooker on low. 24 hours later you have an amazingly mineral rich broth :-) 

NeverSleptOnTheCouch

The girls have you some remarkable advice.

Leaving Florida will do wonders for frizzy hair!  

Also, if you are one that likes a hot shower on your head, regrettably,  that's cooking your hair.

A fresh cut, and treat your hair with as cold a water you can stand, consistently, I think you will see results you like.

growingafamily

I've had some success with frizz by doing everything upside down. My hair is curly so YMMV but it's really dry and the top layer is most thin and unhealthy. By everything I mean wash--don't let the water stream hit you at the crown, bend over and let it hit the underside--and adding leave-in products, but I think at that point it's more about adding body at the roots than taming frizz.

SMan

Hey @Betty, there's a TV show you might find inspirational. It ran for 3 seasons, and as far as I know it can be watched online on Vudu and Amazon TV.

It's called Plain Jane, and involves a model making over mousey, frumpy, unconfident, and otherwise undateable women to become fabulous.

Here's the Amazon listing:

https://www.amazon.com/Friend-Zone-Jane/dp/B003XQV5XO/ref=sr_1

More info here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plain_Jane_(TV_series)

Betty

@frillyfun I've seen that hair dye in the grocery store before.  I thought about trying it, but I've had bad experiences with store-bought dye before.  I tried to go for a lighter brown and ended up with the most horrendous blondish color.  That was with a permanent color, though, so maybe the semi-permanents are different.  I'm a little leery of dyeing my hair until I've exhausted other options, though. 

I'd never heard of the protein treatment.  I'll look into that; it sounds interesting.

@Maria I haven't gotten a cut yet.  It had layers a few months ago, but I think it has gotten overgrown.  Lately I've been pretty obsessed with vintage style, specifically 1940s and 50s, so I've been looking into cuts that will work for a more vintage-inspired look. 

I do take a multi-vitamin, something with extra B12 if I remember correctly. 

I'll try the conditioner.  I don't mind owning two conditioners if I can find something that finally works!  Are there any shampoos you recommend for frizz?  The one I'm using right now (some variation of Suave, can't remember which one) is almost out, so now is the best time for advice .

@MrsB That...doesn't sound very appetizing....  I'm willing to try it, though.  Do you add any veggies or anything?  I looked online and some people say to, some say not to.

@NeverSleptOnTheCouch You mean all this humidity isn't good for frizz?  . I'll try the cold showers.  They're supposed to be better for your skin, too, so it's worth a shot.

@growingafamily Do you condition upside down, too?  Or do you use a leave-in conditioner? 

@SMan ; Sounds a lot like What Not To Wear.  I used to love that show. 

Took a couple pictures over the weekend.  They're pretty poor quality, and the dressing room where I took them inexplicably had a pile of boxes in front of the mirror so you can only see my top half, but hey, at least I took pictures. 

This is why I never smile in photos.  It looks terrible.
My sister says I don't smile like this in real life, but it's otherwise a good representation of me.

The skirt is a little above knee length, since you can't see it.  I actually got a few compliments from women and a look or two from guys.  The hair was...not stellar.  I loaded the front up with hairspray and it still kept falling in front of my face incessantly.

growingafamily

I actually don't use shampoo. I wash with conditioner. My hair is ridiculously dry and this has been working for me.

never_again

I'll say it again - you're a pretty, shapely gal.  I also hate the way I smile in photos but don't worry about that.  Just be happy generally.  It shows.

I think you have the same problem as a lot of us guys.  We don't perceive ourselves as attractive so we simply don't notice the IOI's.  And these days guys are discouraged from overt IOI's like wolf whistles, so you need to be more aware of the subtle stuff.

Rockstar

I have slightly curly, fragile, baby thin and fine hair. Last time I got a trim, the stylist used GK Hair products - shampoo, conditioner, protein treatment and mousse. She dried it and lightly straightened it with an iron for me and I couldn't believe it was really my hair I was looking at!  I've never seen it that straight, silky and heavy looking (in a great way) before!  It looked like blonde Asian hair!  That's a good thing. 

I was so impressed I'm gonna pick some up next time I restock.  I bet it'd be great for your hair too

Pen_and_Sword

Ok, seriously? The girl in those pictures would have intimidated the HELL out of me when I was your age, because she's so pretty. That smile you hate so much looks a bit like Katie Holms when she's being demure. If there's a better version, then... jeepers.

I wonder whether your "undateable" feelings come partly because (as I'm told), attractive people don't get to be shy - because nobody believes them, so they seem stuck-up.

You're getting a lot of advice about working on the physical improvements you want to make. Good, fine. But if you're building a MAP, I think you should mark that as a Yellow, and look more to your frame and energy levels as Reds.

Also - in bed, hair down for sure. Much sexier on the pillow. And yours looks great down in these pictures. (In-your-face is a look deliberately cultivated by many women. I'll let someone smarter explain why it works, but it does.)

But for normal life? An updo shows off a graceful neck and good collarbones if you have them; ponytails also show high-energy and youthfulness, and a bun can be either retro/teacher pretty, or even red-carpet formal. Don't be afraid to do what works just because of some survey you read.

Flynn_Lives

Pen_and_Sword said:

Ok, seriously? The girl in those pictures would have intimidated the HELL out of me when I was your age, because she's so pretty. That smile you hate so much looks a bit like Katie Holms when she's being demure. If there's a better version, then... jeepers.

I saw the smile picture and it has the type of smirking smile that Natalie Dormer has.  Don't sell yourself short @Betty, you are far more attractive than you give yourself credit for!  And like @Pen_and_Sword said, your look probably intimidate some men!  Confidence lady, CONFIDENCE!

HowlAtTheMoon

All suave products are a nightmare for my dry hair. If you want drugstore/target brands I would lean toward Treseme and Aussie. Stay away from the hair dryer. You have the perfect texture hair for vintage rag rolling. Wash it at night, let it air dry 60% and roll in one big rag strip while damp and sleep that way. But dont ever do this right after an apogee or other protein treatment.  

dalef

@Betty I awesomed your post because your pictures were of an attractive woman. When I was single I would have asked you out.

Cowboy

dalef said:

@Betty I awesomed your post because your pictures were of an attractive woman. When I was single I would have asked you out.

Yep, you look good. The only thing I would fix with the outfit are the glasses. Maybe something with a thinner frame would work better, but if you like them, it's not a big deal.

Smile like you mean it, too. Don't overthink it.