Parenting teens.

Winter

My son in question, who recently got his drivers licence, was miraculously able to earn the required GPA we set up for him to get access to a car...  

TooEarlyTooLate

Going back to my MAP at age 13...prior to that I was a solid C student, only a distant friend or two, fat and lazy.  I visited a motivational camp where they taught about rounding out your life with school, family, religion, friends, social, health...(sound familiar) We were required to form short, medium and long term goals for each.  There was no parent around and these were "our" goals that you shared with the class.  Once home we were required to post them in our room to look at every day.  I remember my parents being amazed at my goals as they were so far from where I was in life.  Within a couple of years, I had lost weight, gained any number of friends, become social at school and church and had taken control over my life.  I registered for colleges on my own, found a roommate on my own and leased an apartment without my parents involvement. I got out of college in 3 years with a business degree and got a great job.   

I am a firm believer in not just letting kids go but forcing them to really think about their life and what they want it to be without your involvement.  Make sure they understand the well rounded part too.  I think where we fail as parents is a lack of attention, not being there when they need to talk, too much guidance into what you want for them versus what they want for themselves but most importantly not letting them grow into their own adults.  

I ask my kids all the time about what they want from their life.  It is not my life, it is theirs.  I am here as a mentor, guide, feedback mechanism and provide unconditional love.  The rest is on them.  

Do they have a MAP of their own?