IrishGypsy's MAP - "Ah Go On!"

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  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    Although I'm still a neophyte I must say that my call with Athol was EXTREMELY enlightening.  About 60% of what he said I had predicted.  The other 40% was amazing, insightful and useful after I got myself out of the shit hole I was in.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    AdamBeckerTenneeMiddleManPatience
  • IrishGypsyIrishGypsy UKSilver Member Posts: 407
    edited December 13
    I've sent the contact form off to request the 1hr call with Athol. Hopefully he can slot me in for an hour before Xmas rolls around.

    @Adam_S I know she's gone a bit mad on Xmas with £80+ toys for the kids. She's also spent about £100 on food for Xmas day.

    But I only left myself with enough for fuel and to buy her a present from me and then from the kids. Now a chunk of that will go on the babysitter (as it's half the price of me taking unpaid leave instead).

    Either way, it's her credit card and her sole responsibility to pay it all back. Mixing interest bearing with interest-free balances means it's going to take her a lot longer to pay it back (due to the way interest is calculated daily and how her payments are applied to both balance types).
    frillyfunCartB4Horse
  • GraceyGracey USMember Posts: 119
    frillyfun said:
    You, and the kids could make her a present...I freakin' melt whenever H does something with DS' hand prints.  H does a "year in review" photo collage for me on Mother's day that's a big winner too.  

    I don't know if there's a UK equivalent to Groovebook, but it's really cool.  You upload 100 pics with their app, and they send you a photo album for $3.99.

    Google some stuff- you should be able to come up with something meaningful for a very tiny budget.
    There needs to be a way to choose agree and awesome on this post. I swoon over the handprints, photo ornaments and popsicle photo frames! 
    IrishGypsyJellyBeanamblrgirlfrillyfun
  • LordFlashheartLordFlashheart UKSilver Member Posts: 170
    Jeez you're now turning into @nubby with all the woodwork and making stuff :-) 
    Great idea btw!
    You want something?  You're the Captain?  You make it happen. Courtesy of @fredless
    CartB4HorseIrishGypsyJellyBeanfrillyfun
  • IrishGypsyIrishGypsy UKSilver Member Posts: 407
    Jeez you're now turning into @nubby with all the woodwork and making stuff :-) 
    Great idea btw!
    I really wish this forum had a 'thanks' button. And you should see my burgeoning tools.

    Hold on a sec... 
    ooh-matron-kenneth-williams-carry-on-bouvier-des-flandres-puppies-for-sale-uk.jpg
    350 x 343 - 28K
    LordFlashheartTenneefrillyfunJellyBean
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    @IrishGypsy - most of what I hear up there ^^^ is raw energy, at least it would be for me. I've used negative energy for most of my life, being driven when people tell me I can't do something.

    I also see that YOU know the real score.  If wifey cheats again you won't respond the same way again, right?

    I'd kick the fucking apple cart over @Tennee Style if I were you.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

  • TenneeTennee Next Stop: AwesomevilleSilver Member Posts: 5,963
    ^ ya gotta be careful doing that; I've said many time it wasn't exactly the most intelligent way I could have gone about it.  On phone, will comment more on this when I'm free. 
    "Fall down seven times, stand up eight"  Japanese Proverb

    How will you live well today?
    IrishGypsyCartB4Horse
  • IrishGypsyIrishGypsy UKSilver Member Posts: 407
    @IrishGypsy - most of what I hear up there ^^^ is raw energy, at least it would be for me. I've used negative energy for most of my life, being driven when people tell me I can't do something.

    I also see that YOU know the real score.  If wifey cheats again you won't respond the same way again, right?

    I'd kick the fucking apple cart over @Tennee Style if I were you.
    I agree with @Tennee on that. The applecart *will* be upset. But it'll need to happen at a gradual pace. One.degree.at.a.time.

    It will give my wife time to process that the changes are real and permanent.

    I have a feeling that, now my wife has been explicitly told I don't want her to either buy me clothes or tell me how I should dress anymore, dressing well to ooze power and status will be a quicker way to convey that brand of attractiveness (and therefore be a greater display of high value).

    Anyone know of any idiot-proof style guides for men?
    TenneeCartB4HorseAngelineShepard
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    Like I said, that's what I'd do..... Not the best thing to do by far.

    Focus on yourself though, use that energy to pound out the reps, go harder at work, do whatever it takes in everything that you do.  The Go Plan is the same as the Stay Plan, right?

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    IrishGypsy
  • LittlejoeLittlejoe TexasSilver Member Posts: 151
    @IrishGypsy - most of what I hear up there ^^^ is raw energy, at least it would be for me. I've used negative energy for most of my life, being driven when people tell me I can't do something.

    I also see that YOU know the real score.  If wifey cheats again you won't respond the same way again, right?

    I'd kick the fucking apple cart over @Tennee Style if I were you.

    I guess you are saying kick the apple cart over if she cheats again...right?  Because otherwise, he would be going against Athol's advice.
  • AlphaNowAlphaNow CTSilver Member Posts: 8
    Anyone know of any idiot-proof style guides for men?
    I have found some solid tips in the captains threads thread.
    http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/discussion/13057/the-new-threads-thread-for-captains#latest ;
    TenneeIrishGypsy
  • BlackwulfBlackwulf Leading the pack. Silver Member Posts: 1,782
    You can feel remorse and justified in this.  It's the way it works with cheating, they know its wrong but you are the one who was shitty first in their mind and so that gives them the reason to cheat.  Literally if you were a better husband she tells herself she wouldn't have cheated.  You have taken ownership though of being that naive and thoughtless guy, that guy is gone though.  

    If you want to get rid of the contempt,  you have got to hold yourself and her to a higher standard.  Make a commitment If you want to see real remorse you have got to get to phase 3.  She has got to see you as higher value than herself for the regret to exceed the justification.  The funny thing is when you make it to that point you have got to decide if you want to keep her.  




    IrishGypsyTenneeAngelineamblrgirl
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