Started MAPing 3 yrs ago, then regressed. Wife wants divorce, young kids. Help requested.

Saluki

My MAP started in April 2013. Made progress, but stalled out in terms of sex.  I stopped MAPing in July, 2014.  That was foolish and I regret it.  As you will see, I regret a lot of my actions.

Things went downhill. Started MAPing again, but I've still done so much wrong, including breaking the cardinal rule (don't complain about lack of sex).  Foolishly, I lashed out.

I'd say 80% of the relationship problems are my fault.  I've read all three of Athol's books and listened to the videos.  Some of them several times.  And yet I make the same stupid mistakes; doing what I knew I should not do.  I take responsibility.

She wants a divorce.  She hasn't taken concrete steps yet.  But she is dead serious I can assure you.  Our kids are 10 and 6.

The immediate concern is of course their well being.  We have scheduled a trip to Florida this weekend, renting a house and visiting family.  Do I take the trip, or does it give the kids the wrong message?  As far as I know, the kids have not been told we are breaking up.

I want to turn our relationship around, although honestly I don't think it will happen.  She's acting cold and emotionless and somewhat condescending toward me.

I had a triage and one point.  I can't find it.  Here is my MAP thread that documents my ambivalence about our marriage.

Again I want to keep us together, if only, for now, the kids.  She seems to think after divorce she can keep the house (move me out) and continue to send our kids to parochial school.  I don't see either of those things happening.  We're also in the middle of a big remodel.

What should I do?

Blackwulf

I think you go on the trip.  You act married until you arent.  What is blocking you from mapping?  

Mapping is action plus mindset which reinforces the other.

Lay out what is going on right now and why do you think your wife doesn't respect you. 

Kickboxer

The stay plan is the go plan. Own your mistakes with her, just once, and move on. Start mapping again so that her or someone else gets a better you. 

It sounds like you don't want a divorce. If that's true act like it. 

Reborn

I would say the question of whether you go to Florida or not is not the important question.

Angeline

I vote for going on the trip, and trying to schedule a 1 hour call with @Athol_Kay to try and put together an emergency plan for the weekend. If she hasn't taken any concrete steps towards divorce, however serious she is, you might have a chance to turn things around. 

I'm sorry you're back under these circumstances. 

@Jen_Kay ;