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Comments
Anything I can do to help myself finish quicker?
Anything I can suggest to my wife in the moment.
I might try and watch the movies @BMXgroupie suggested with her, but I know she won't be into gagging, etc.
Might need to try the more specific in the moment feedback @shibari suggested.
We'll just have to see if another BJ is forthcoming in the next week or two, or if this gets tabled for a while.
As someone who is fairly open minded about all sexual flavors and is paired with a loving S.O who is a good sport about things that she may deem a bit advanced (taboo?), for which I am grateful. I would be slightly irritated if the prevailing attitude in our bedroom was one where we remained sexually static. I see this as an area where their has to be some give and take. Now if there are hard boundaries and they are expressed as such that is one thing altogether different and has to be respected.
My S/O would give me mediocre Blow Jobs when we where dating. They eventually became a rare thing and then vanished from the menu all together. It was a gradual process. One day I requested one and was shot down hard. I was pretty butt hurt about it and handled it completely wrong as many of us do in the life before Map. This moment is one that stands out in my memory as hurtful rejection.
Many months into mapping BJ's did return but they were still mediocre at best. I asked my S.O about her hang ups with BJ's and it turned out that one of her previous boyfriends told her that she was bad at it and caused her to turn off of the act all together. Fast forward to today and we are in a much better place and I am quite satisfied with the BJ's I receive. Her previous experience was preventing me from getting a BJ. Mapping put me in a place where I could not only bring it up but go through the process of correcting it.
Mapping can get you to a place where you can make changes in the bedroom by creating the trust and communication lines needed to facilitate it. However, creating an environment where desires cannot even be discussed between partners is creating the possibility for a critical moment of neglect and will do damage. As one MAPS themselves into being a better high value spouse, I see nothing wrong with having and seeking out higher quality sex and sexual acts. Be aware however that the bedroom is rarely if ever the first place that we see results of the MAP.
During the act if you have a suggestion growl it...BJ's are very Alpha for females. You have to match that level of Alpha.
If you're passing the 10 minute mark transition to something else.
Also, satin opera gloves can be fun.
Just making sure we are addressing the root problem, rather than a symptom of the problem...
I'll employ this on the next BJ she gives me, if it's not next year. I'll keep somewhat of an eye on the time and at 10 minutes in I'll lead the transition to a very dominant pounding.
If however the next attempt is March 14, 2017, then I'm letting it go for as long as it takes.
With PIV, Anal, etc. it can take 5 minutes to 45 minutes, depending on my stamina (if I get wore out quickly it takes longer) which working on fitness and my MAP should help with.
BJs have always seemed to take longer than they should with me, but there have been a handful she has completed in under 10 minutes, and I don't have a lot of comparisons from 20 years ago before her to know if it's her, me, or a combination of both.
If a woman came on here, and said her H takes 40 minutes for a BJTC we'd tell her to look for outside sexual sources, and to get his t levels checked (and to stop giving you BJ's until things improved).
No solo fapping in the past two weeks. Have done a couple of "assisted" sessions with my wife.
Going back further, porn/fapping about twice a week.
If I want to I can come in under 5 minutes when fapping, but I usually prefer to take my time, but I'm still done in under 10 minutes.
I've never had my T-Levels checked, but never had a reason to have them checked. No problems with erections, still get morning wood occasionally, etc.
From your triage, and other info I'm seeing some signs of low-t. It wouldn't hurt to have it checked the next time you're at the doctor's office. It will certainly help with the weight loss, and lifting if you decide to supplement.
If you're looking for a great bedroom leadership moment, it's sitting right there on a golden platter.
In the mean time, I'll kick myself in the ass and get started working out, which could naturally raise my T levels as well.
Yeah, I get that.....just have to act on it.
The urge seems to surface anytime we go more than 2-3 days in a row w/o sex,
You don't even need scent, and if the tendency has been to bridge the hygeine gap with scent then it probably has a negative association, not a positive one. Many women like the smell of a healthy, clean man, even a sweaty one, if there is a regular program of bathing going on. It's when the funk builds up over days that the sexy sweaty man smell just becomes unwashed unsexy.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
Regardless, I think I may have overstated the hygiene issue in the beginning. It was more of an easy thing for me to focus on, where I could make immediate positive gains with little effort before moving on to bigger items.