What is the hang-up some women have about BJTC?

zook

And that's exactly where you need to practice OI. Otherwise driving her away further will happen.

Takes superhero type mental strength in that situation but you totally got it.


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CountryDude

She gave me a BJ until CIM last night.

She was a little reluctant to suck for long as she is uncondifent in her ability to bring my to O with her mouth alone (normally oral is strictly a foreplay activity).

I encouraged her that it felt nice and she could make me cum (she normally can't).

Anyway, she found a nice rythym and suction and I told her to stick with that cos it felt amazing.

She did, and with just a little hand action (from her) and some very light thrusting into her mouth (from me), I reach a crescendo spurting warm spunk into her mouth. She took it happily and kept sucking til I had finished. In fact, she kept going til I became sensitive and ticklish, lol.

It only took about 15mins.

She seemed pleased with herself. Her mood was great after, lots of cuddling during the night. This morning she seems on top of the world.

I think it did a lot for her confidence. Me too, since I feel like I have had a mental block stopping me cumming from oral.

I am gonna think of ways to pamper her this weekend.

Take her for a haircut (she's been wanting to get one of those new shaved haircuts for women....she is a bit of a tomboy and prefers short hair).

 A massage maybe. And a nice lunch at her fav place.

But the best thing I can do is maintain my frame and be the man she wants me to be. I did a real good job on that last night with daughter throwing a tantrum over chocolate milk. I was the only one in the house who kept their cool. That is probably why she is in such a good mood this morning...well, maybe the mouthful of cum too.  

MrSmith

42andatowel said:

Now, if you made it through all of that, I have a question/need some advice.  Last week for Steak & BJ day, the actual BJ took about 20 minutes.  There was foreplay, and teasing leading up to the start, but when she actually started the BJ, it was about 20 minutes until the TC.  For my birthday, it was almost 40 minutes until the TC part.

I had previously mentioned her being able to finish one in 5-10 minutes before, and that being a repeatable experience.  I think a big issue for my wife is the time i takes to reach TC.  Let me be clear, she gives a great BJ.  I'm in heaven almost 100% of the time.  In the past, she has not taken even the slightest bit of feedback (beyond my indications of pleasure, etc. during the act) well at all.  

So any suggestions to leading her to working on her technique/trying new things, learning etc. to hopefully get to a consistent quick finish?

Or am I just one of those guys who is going to take 30 minutes most of the time?

It could be several things. As @MrsSmith already mentiond it could be Low-T. Easy to test.

Or it could be you being stressed, distracted, or something similar.
Back in my single days I had a FWB that I used to see every few months. Most of the time I was able to make her cum in 5-10 minutes through cunnilingus, but once I went down on her for an hour (she actually noticed the time when we started and when she finally came on her alarm clock). She attributed it to being stressed from work. The next time she came quickly again.

DonaldDouglass

frillyfun said:

If you just went no FAP that could be the reason the last BJ took a while.  It takes a while for your brain to reset, and it does make things tougher for a while.  

My experience has been the opposite. When I FAPped regularly, I had DE not just with BJs but with PIV. In those days BJs would take 10 or 20 mins and I could tell my wife was getting frustrated (jaws aching, etc.).

I went no FAP starting three months ago. Ever since then, BJs take one or two minutes and BLAM I'm done. For that matter I'm having trouble not coming too quickly with PIV. Kinda gone from DE to PE.

One of the most interesting aspects of going no FAP was I lost ALL interest in the FAP fantasies that used to occupy considerable mental bandwidth. I only think about wife now... and I think about her A LOT.

Seems like my brain didn't need a reset, but my penis got reset from "desensitized" to "supersensitive".

leoslayer

HildaCorners said:

I've never minded giving a BJTC, but one of my 127 former husbands put me off them.

One of his most common swears was "You cocksucker!" He wouldn't say this in the hearing of "You", but I would hear my then husband say it frequently and picked up that he thought sucking cock was an awful thing for someone to do.

I did confront him on this, and he stopped using that swear ... but by then the damage was done.

Size and taste are big deterrents to many women. Wash a cucumber and try deep throating it; you'll understand the size issue. And if you masturbate, taste your own semen. As they say "it's an acquired taste."

I hear women tell guys to do a taste test but you know that's completely unreasonable right? Ain't no way that's happening. Is it really an aquire taste? I guess women have it made they always seem to taste good.

But they say pineapple works wonders. OP do you smoke? That will screw up your taste really bad. Google things to make you taste better.

42andatowel

So I'll resurrect my dormant thread here with some new insight.  So far I'm at a four fold increase in BJTCs this year and the year isn't even over yet.  I'm still struggling (failing) in my two biggest reds (physical and money) so I'll update my MAP on those, but I'll share y latest BJTC experience and resulting insight here.

To preface all of this, the one area of my MAP that is firing on all cylinders is leadership.  I'm batting down shit tests, making decisions (instead of tying to lead via consensus) and even gaining some status through work.  We had a hectic/busy schedule all summer long, navigated getting kid #1 off to college, and helped kid #2 through some touch emotional issues.  I captained the shit out of all of it.

So we were having a discussion about a big work project of mine that just got approved and I casually mentioned I had this big meeting coming up with all of the senior executives and department heads at the company, and that my boss and put me in charge of the meeting.  As the conversation was winding down I just casually threw out "You know a nice BJ the night before would really help put me in a great mood and help my meeting run more smoothly."

Her response was basically it's not going to happen.  Which was fine, I was really just joking around and didn't seriously expect her to do it.  So my OI was of course at 100%.

However, the night before my meeting rolls around, and I'll admit to being a little oblivious, but she manages to drag us to bed a little earlier than usual, which I thought strange at the time, until she initiated the BJ.  Not just any BJ either, very enthusiastic, definitely made the top 5 list of sexual encounters.  As they say watch the actions, not the words.

I proceeded to "return the favor" and she was absolutely the wettest she has been in a long time, and had one of the best orgasms in recent memory. (After my BJTC which she claims to not like to do.)

So my insights are as follows:

1.  My meeting with the senior execs and being in charge was a huge DHV, that combined with being a solid captain these last few months really had the attraction dialed up.

2.  (Disclaimer: there are definitely some women that are truly not into BJTC, whether from a lack of experience, a perception issue, a bad prior experience, etc.)  For everyone else, BJTC really is all about the attraction.  Be a high value man, leader of your relationship, and they are magically back on the table, and she will probably even enjoy them.

3.  Not just for BJTC, but for sex in general, I find that as long as I'm injecting positive energy into the relationship, she's a lot more open to my advances.  This is the responsibility of the captain, to maintain that positive energy.

Bonus Insight:  Sometimes we, as men, can have a somewhat childish sense of humor when it comes to sex related items.  There is a significant difference between a sexy, even sometimes humorous, sexual innuendo, and the more childish high school locker-room type of innuendo.  The former can get the attraction flowing, the latter, even when she sees the humor in it, actually kills attraction.  That's because she wants to have sex with a MAN, not a CHILD!

So I will keep MAPing on, and keep bringing the leadership and positive energy to the relationship.

StikkyEbi

Wife here, I am willing to give my husband BJs, but don't really like doing it until completion for a number of reasons. Sometimes his cum tastes funny, my mouth can hurt because either my mouth is small or he's too big, and he generally smells bad and tastes funny down there. So, here's my advice if it's either of those three issues. Take a shower or just freshen up down there beforehand for the last issue. For the first two she could start with a BJ and you could finish with sex or do a mix of a HJ and a BJ and cum in a rag or something.