What is happening here? No connection after intimacy?

2

Comments

  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    Maybe they just wanted to visit Pound Town?  Didn't want to buy a home and raise kids, just visit for the night.....

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    TemplarTenneeMiddleManPersephone
  • TenneeTennee Next Stop: AwesomevilleSilver Member Posts: 5,963
    MM - are you wanting to be in a relationship, specifically an exclusive one, right now? 
    "Fall down seven times, stand up eight"  Japanese Proverb

    How will you live well today?
    forestleafMiddleMan
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    Tennee said:
    MM - are you wanting to be in a relationship, specifically an exclusive one, right now? 
    I think it's ok if your answer to this is "I'm not sure".  I think you're mentally exploring the possibility.  But any answer is ok.
    TenneeTemplarMiddleMan
  • MiddleManMiddleMan Chicago BurbsSilver Member Posts: 1,898
    Tennee said:
    MM - are you wanting to be in a relationship, specifically an exclusive one, right now? 
    I'm not sure.

    It's a grind out there. I'm getting a little tired of the scheduling and the hot/cold that we're discussing in this thread. And I'm honestly getting a little concerned that some women don't think I'm worth hanging onto. Maybe it's just recency bias; I had better luck earlier on. 

    I'd probably feel better if I were doing the nexting as opposed to being nexted.
    [Deleted User]Tennee
  • TenneeTennee Next Stop: AwesomevilleSilver Member Posts: 5,963
    MiddleMan said:
    And I'm honestly getting a little concerned that some women don't think I'm worth hanging onto. Maybe it's just recency bias; I had better luck earlier on. 

    I'd probably feel better if I were doing the nexting as opposed to being nexted.
    As you know, that is a horrible predictor of any medium to longer term horizon; hell its iffy for short-term too.   So screw it.  And yeah, its coloring your lens IMO.

    We've all been Nexted, and done the Nexting - part of life.  Carry on man, that's what you do.  Maybe apply a little IDGAF / cavalier attitude here.  
    "Fall down seven times, stand up eight"  Japanese Proverb

    How will you live well today?
    MiddleManCartB4Horsethemacnut
  • MiddleManMiddleMan Chicago BurbsSilver Member Posts: 1,898
    @amblrgirl and @Jek raised good points. To clarify, it wasn't that I didn't want my own pleasure, but things just didn't go that direction. I was doing a good job pushing boundaries, getting her excited enough for me to get more and more of her clothes off, to going down on her, etc. I even took her hand and put it on my crotch and said, "Look how hard you've made me." But she didn't do anything about it. 

    So so maybe it would be good for me to start another thread regarding escalating or going for my own pleasure during a first hookup. 
    amblrgirlCartB4Horse
  • MiddleManMiddleMan Chicago BurbsSilver Member Posts: 1,898
    @Tennee - I don't know how to describe it other than it felt, to me, like she was stopping me.

    When I have a little more time, I'm going to start that other thread. 
    Tenneeamblrgirl
  • frillyfunfrillyfun East PodunkGold Women Posts: 3,386
    Why was she doing the nexting in that scenario?  You went down on her, and she didn't even touch your penis.  Next.
    amblrgirlJekWinter
  • AngelineAngeline planting seedsCategory Moderator** Posts: 14,501
    If that was Breasts Girl, she may not have wanted to wax oral on your penis when you didn't do so about her breasts. She may not even have wanted you to wax poetic so much as dive in and maul them ;)
    "Speak your truth." - Scarlet
    Remember to play!
    Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
    Be married, until you are not.

    Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
    TenneeLadyOrTheTygerWinterJellyBean
  • CartB4HorseCartB4Horse Southwest USASilver Member Posts: 4,155
    edited March 30
    Tennee said:
    MiddleMan said:
    I even took her hand and put it on my crotch and said, "Look how hard you've made me." But she didn't do anything about it. 

    Bubba, YOU didn't do anything about it.  Why weren't you taking your pants off, while removing the rest of her clothing, and then going all cave-man here?    The FO perspective above is spot-on, methinks the tentativeness and hesitation spoke to Ol Lizzie, and Lizzie made up her mind.

    Remember, 'Just Fucking Fuck Me Already'
    I took it more from a starfish perspective.  She didn't do anything?  WTF?  First encounter and she wasn't all over him spells issues for her.  NEXT.

    Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol.  Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....

    “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl 

    MiddleMan
  • JekJek CaliforniaMember Posts: 1,520
    you are missing it.  

    "escalating or going for my own pleasure" is a blanket.  It has to be what you want, not what you think that you are supposed to want.  You may not want to have sex, then dont go for it.  It is all situational, not cookie cutter.  

    Im not really good with all of the forum terminology, but it sounds like you have covert contracts in your head. "If I do this, they should do this", cuz it worked last time.  

    or maybe you just arent closing the sale?  I may be stupid, but any woman that goes out with me, is well aware that sex is 99%, if we end up at her house, mine, in a park, alone in an alley, that is a green fucking light.  It is well past any escalation or further discussion.  I have never had a woman come to my house because my coffee is incredible.

    Keep in mind, that my responses are biased.  I think that if a woman is with me, she is there with the intention of sex.  Anything else, she can hire someone for, or do it herself.


    CartB4HorseCrashaxe
  • TemplarTemplar WashingtonSilver Member Posts: 3,371
    Remember this, you are the prize but not every single woman wants the same prize! If every single woman was completely compatible, we'd wonder!
    HildaCornersMoonstoneTenneeMiddleMan
  • MiddleManMiddleMan Chicago BurbsSilver Member Posts: 1,898
    Dating is tricky for a man. On the one hand, you need to be Passionate Sexual Caveman. On the other hand, going anywhere near a hard no, or really even pushing a soft no, is a million times more dangerous with a woman you just met than it is with a spouse. 
    This was a very large part of my thought process. 
    LadyOrTheTyger
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