Appropriate work attire?

forestleaf

So it came to my attention yesterday that there have been observations made about appropriate female work attire.  It came up in a conversation between myself and a coworker (she is about 22).  She says that another male coworker of ours made the comment that we (she and myself) shouldn't be wearing yoga pants to work because they're too provocative (my word, not his, I don't know what word he used).  This man isn't a supervisor, but he's generally well-respected.  So as a result she (my coworker) has stopped wearing pants that are tight.  Which I think is bullshit, and I told her so.  (She happens to be my subordinate, but we are friends.)  She says she bikes all over campus, and needs to wear pants that allow her to bike and walk around as well as look somewhat professional at work.  I absolutely understand this and I encouraged her to wear whatever she would like.  

I live in the South, and there is still so much of this kind of thinking here.  I wear yoga pants everyday because they're so comfortable, and yes they make me feel feminine.  My husband has tried to school me on what kinds of underwear are best to avoid panty-lines, and I don't have the most perfect body, but I'm in decent shape and wearing tight pants is flattering on me, I think (and my H agrees).  My female coworker has actually said she doesn't wear underwear under hers because she's embarrassed about panty-lines.  My boss himself told me (somewhat inappropriately) that I was looking really fit in my legs (but it didn't bother me because I know him well).  I don't wear short skirts.  I don't wear cleavage-revealing tops.  And most certainly I've observed the male coworker who made the comment about our pants ogling me and my legs multiple times.  Really obviously.  It's slightly disconcerting, but he's harmless.  There is one other male employee that makes me (and my female coworker) a little uncomfortable, but we are both careful to stay away from him, and so all is well.  

So what is this attitude about women's clothing?  Or about yoga pants specifically?  I don't get it.  

Tennee

forestleaf said:

So what is this attitude about women's clothing?  Or about yoga pants specifically?  I don't get it.  

My attitude about W's yoga pants, specifically?  Speaking as a Southern Gentleman,  I.LOVE.THEM.  I would like a court-order that compels mandatory yoga pants wearing at all times, except when otherwise naked.  Or those jeans she bought the other day...

Seriously, W wears 'yoga pants' to work with various outfits frequently - had 'em on today in fact.   She has good, solid Girl Game, and dresses very well for her job.  Knowing you as well as an internet-stranger can, I imagine you look very professional with solid game - not see-through with halter-tops (those are for other occasions).  I have no issues with any of W's outfits - she looks solid, professional, and frankly hot.  

Methinks your co-worker is simply projecting his own issues here.   Eff him.   If you really have a concern, ask your Sup. - is my attire considered within our policy - either official or unofficial - of work attire?  Do you have any concerns?   Do we need an 'official' policy? 

JellyBean

Does this have anything to do with your other post about a terrible coworker who screams and makes a lot of ruckus and is just generally an asshole, and your boss who doesn't want to deal with that person?

Tennee

@JellyBean   Bingo

Pen_and_Sword

So much of this issue has to do with context...

SallyMander

Male or female, ideally you choose clothes that, if someone makes some comment about what you're wearing, you still feel confident about your choices.

"Yoga pants" covers a wide range of possibilities. I can think of yoga pants (more like tights) that would be wildly inappropriate for my work environment, and there are others that I've worn to work on a casual day. 

I work with students, and I've seen some jawdroppingly-inappropriate outfits, and that doesn't equal sexy or attractive, either. Just...please, no.

maverick

You are going to see a very wide variety of responses here and it largely depends on where you work.  FWIW, my wife wears fairly short sundresses, shirt dresses, and fairly revealing tops, but she would never wear yoga pants to work.  They are just SO casual.  I think you can do better.

frillyfun

I'm guessing you know how to dress professionally, and do.  There will always be critics.  I wouldn't worry about them.

forestleaf

JellyBean said:

Does this have anything to do with your other post about a terrible coworker who screams and makes a lot of ruckus and is just generally an asshole, and your boss who doesn't want to deal with that person?

@JellyBean, no.  The boss who doesn't want to deal with my passive-aggressive freakshow screaming coworker is the one who said he liked how fit I was looking.  The guy who screams has nothing to do with any of this.

Angeline

Can you post a catalog pic of these pants? Because I've seen a range of yoga pants, from those that just look like black pants, to those that are only appropriate at Lifetime Fitness.

Moonstone

Agree with @Angeline - we need to see the pants.  I work in a business casual office,  and I  personally would never wear what I think of as "yoga pants"  to work; they would be too tight,  too casual and therefore unprofessional.  However, I have several pairs of "dress pants" that are made of  a stetchy fabric and that are close fitting through the waist,  seat and thighs.  

Charlie

Another yoga pants LOVER here. They are sooo sexy and really show of assets. Whether it's appropriate for work depends on the dress standards at work. If you work in a casual dress environment, it's probably fine. But they are very sexy, and it's a judgment call how sexy to dress for work. Maybe that's the issue your co-worker has with it. He finds it really sexy, and that for him makes it inappropriate for work.  Plus, like Maverick said, to me they seem ultra casual. But maybe I've just never seen a woman who knows how to make it look professional. 

I work in a "business attire" environment, and never thought yoga pants fit in with that. There is a very fit young lady in my office who wears them sometimes. While the yoga pants never seemed appropriate here, I would never say anything because (a) it's none of my business, and (b) eye candy.

@forestleaf, you asked, "So what is this attitude about women's clothing?  Or about yoga pants specifically?  I don't get it."  Well, I, and probably a lot of men, think it's about as sexy as cleavage. (Even sexier if worn with thong or no underwear - we can tell.) That's probably why some people don't like it outside of the gym or home.  

forestleaf

No, @Tennee, no see-through pants with halter tops.  Ha. 

I think I do dress professionally.  I came from working on a farm where I was wearing jeans and t-shirts daily, so when I began this job I bought a number of basic blouses/tops that I felt were appropriate although not super "dressy" (and far removed from the informality of t-shirts).  I usually feel a little more exposed wearing tighter tops along with my yoga pants, and more comfortable when I have a looser, longer sweater over the top or at least a looser top like today.  I'll admit my top today isn't super dressy.

I should point out that I rarely interact with public, although I do.  I certainly don't have to wear power suits or anything like that, LOL.

@Angeline I am going to post a pic I just took.  Lighting is not great, sorry.  I pulled the shirt up a bit to see the actual pants.  Can't get a photo down to floor because it's a bathroom mirror.  And I know I have panty lines.  Which is what my H comments on.  Is that maybe the issue?

Angeline

I think the guys are unintentionally making the point that some things might be too sexy for the workplace, unless you're willing to accept the attention that comes along with it. That doesn't include comments or touching, but looking?

"And most certainly I've observed the male coworker who made the comment about our pants ogling me and my legs multiple times.  Really obviously.  It's slightly disconcerting, but he's harmless.  There is one other male employee that makes me (and my female coworker) a little uncomfortable, but we are both careful to stay away from him, and so all is well."

There's NOTHING wrong with looking.
If you're going to wear clothes that show off the assets, it's poor form to act as if the guys who notice this are somehow dangerous, and need a wide berth.

Angeline

I don't see a thing wrong with those. But neither is there anything wrong with someone who enjoys the view.

maverick

forestleaf said:

No, Tennee, no see-through pants with halter tops.  Ha. 

I think I do dress professionally.  I came from working on a farm where I was wearing jeans and t-shirts daily, so when I began this job I bought a number of basic blouses/tops that I felt were appropriate although not super "dressy" (and far removed from the informality of t-shirts).  I usually feel a little more exposed wearing tighter tops along with my yoga pants, and more comfortable when I have a looser, longer sweater over the top or at least a looser top like today.  I'll admit my top today isn't super dressy.

I should point out that I rarely interact with public, although I do.  I certainly don't have to wear power suits or anything like that, LOL.

@Angeline I am going to post a pic I just took.  Lighting is not great, sorry.  I pulled the shirt up a bit to see the actual pants.  Can't get a photo down to floor because it's a bathroom mirror.  And I know I have panty lines.  Which is what my H comments on.  Is that maybe the issue?

I need to see that from the back and sides before I can pass judgement.

growingafamily

I can't imagine "yoga pants" and "professional" fitting in the same sentence. But from what I gather the main point of them is to show off literally the exact shape of your butt in a way that even tight jeans can't accomplish. I only bought them to wear aground the house for my husband's sake (OK I lied, I didn't buy them, he did). So unless you teach yoga by profession, probably not work appropriate.

forestleaf

Charlie1975 said:

Another yoga pants LOVER here. They are sooo sexy and really show of assets. Whether it's appropriate for work depends on the dress standards at work. If you work in a casual dress environment, it's probably fine. But they are very sexy, and it's a judgment call how sexy to dress for work. Maybe that's the issue your co-worker has with it. He finds it really sexy, and that for him makes it inappropriate for work.  Plus, like Maverick said, to me they seem ultra casual. But maybe I've just never seen a woman who knows how to make it look professional. 

I work in a "business attire" environment, and never thought yoga pants fit in with that. There is a very fit young lady in my office who wears them sometimes. While the yoga pants never seemed appropriate here, I would never say anything because (a) it's none of my business, and (b) eye candy.

This kind of bugs me.  I'm glad to hear about your attitude toward it because who the hell cares what someone else chooses to wear?  But I don't think it's justified to ask women who wear yoga pants to not wear them.  I felt kind of protective about my female coworker who is now too embarrassed to wear them.  I felt pissed off that the male coworker would say something to her (but nothing to me).  Damn.  Maybe I should just wear a burka and call it a day. 

forestleaf

FTR I don't have anything against someone who "enjoys the view" per @Angeline.  But that's not what I'm going for.  I'm going for comfortable.  And they ARE.

Charlie

@forestleaf, I didn't think you'd like it. But we're internet strangers, so I can give a super honest response  .  Again, I work in a business attire environment, so that informs my opinion a lot. Sounds like your work atmosphere is quite a bit different. 

 Angeline said:

I think the guys are unintentionally making the point that some things might be too sexy for the workplace, unless you're willing to accept the attention that comes along with it. That doesn't include comments or touching, but looking?

Yeah, that's part of what I was getting at.

Angeline

That's not what you said in the OP. If you like looking and feeling sexy, own it. I imagine your job might involve some physical stuff where full-on office attire would be a PITA. So comfortable and practical is a job requirement. Sexy is a bonus. Don't pretend that element isn't there, but don't take on other peoples' hangups either.

There is no black and white answer here, sorry!