Appropriate work attire?

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  • 42andatowel42andatowel United StatesSilver Member Posts: 325
    Another story. Ensign Corners has beautiful long hair. When he decided to grow his hair out (at age 10), I warned him people would think he was a girl, and if he wasn't prepared for that, he should think twice about his hair. He decided he didn't mind, and ever since, he's kept a mental count of the number of people who call him female.

    He's in his mid-teens now, and with light facial hair and a strong baritone, he rarely gets to reply to "How are you ladies today" with "That's 107." (with a big smile on his face) Last time I remember was when we went into The Art of Shaving store at the mall.

    Can the Ensign wear long hair? Sure. The consequence is being addressed as a girl. He was ok with that ... if he had complained, I would have suggested he get a haircut.
    I had long hair for a while, and I am not the most slender person, but I would still routinely get called Ma'am, etc. when approached from behind.
    Jek
  • CallmeCatCallmeCat DownsouthSilver Member Posts: 236
    I worked in a bank for years and there were lots of issues with dress code violations.  It was a dressed at almost every monthly staff meeting. The guys didn't seem to have any issues except for maybe an occasional shirt that was too casual. We also had dress down day on fridays and we're allowed to wear jeans and a nice Polo with the bank name on it if we would donate 5 bucks to the local charity which most everyone did. I was called out by a superviso once because my black dress pants had belt loops and she said that it made them look to casual. I was floored because I took pride in my dress and wore stylish cloths and matching jewelry all I had to say was really my belt loops are an issue which you could barely even see and one of the young girls I worked with wore such low cut shirts her boobs were always on display and I asked her about that and she said nothing. Imagine that. I continued to wear those pants just made sure  my top was ling enough to cover the belt loop.
  • telynitelyni Midwest, USASilver Member Posts: 471
    I worked in a bank for years and there were lots of issues with dress code violations.  It was a dressed at almost every monthly staff meeting.

    Nice one, lol.

    I agree that yoga pants aren't work attire, or at least, I would never wear them. But when I was working in an office mostly full of men a decade or three older than me when I was fresh out of college, my goal was to be as professional and competent as possible so that I wasn't seen as just a secretary even though my job included some secretarial duties. So I never wore anything other than nice pants and button-down shirts. Your situation is probably different.

    Enneagram type 5w4
    telyni at gmail
  • maverickmaverick Member Posts: 471
    It's actually not about the sexy factor. I wear a pair of bespoke grey suit pants that are so tight I have to sit down slowly so that they don't rip on me.  I get a kick out of watching people eyes to see if they look down.  They are suit pants.  They are not casual and they are not lazy. 

    We just railroaded a girl for wearing similar attire with sandles in the clinic.  Go with a short dress and opaque tights.  Nice shoes, etc.
    JekTennee
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    Aw thanks, @frillyfun.  That made me tear up a little. I love Eleanor Roosevelt.   <3
    frillyfun42andatowel
  • HowlAtTheMoonHowlAtTheMoon Silver Member Posts: 1,183
    Maybe get a nicer pair that are thick and indiscernable from pocketless trousers. I have the Old Navy compression pants and they are definitely the bottom rung of my collection when it comes to pulling them off as dress pants. Some other pairs I have that were a little more $$ look almost identical to my suit trousers once a top is added.
  • Husband3point0Husband3point0 Gold Men Posts: 3,294
    But you can't wear something outside of the accepted norm, receive the accepted consequences, then complain about getting those consequences.
    You ran right past the issue. 

    The issue is -- what's the 'accepted norm' for her workplace?

    That's why a few of us are asking directly and indirectly "what's the official dress code policy?"  Because that codifies the 'accepted norm' in writing. If it doesn't exist explicitly, then everyone is left to interpret it on their own, which is typically problematic. 
    BlackwulfTennee
  • TemplarTemplar WashingtonSilver Member Posts: 3,371
    When it comes down to it, ask your boss what the dress code is. Our opinions don't matter a sniff if they disagree with the policy there. If there is one, problem solved. If there isn't one, as @Husband3point0  said, that's where your own discretion comes in.
    HowlAtTheMoonBlackwulfTennee
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    But you can't wear something outside of the accepted norm, receive the accepted consequences, then complain about getting those consequences.
    You ran right past the issue. 

    The issue is -- what's the 'accepted norm' for her workplace?

    That's why a few of us are asking directly and indirectly "what's the official dress code policy?"  Because that codifies the 'accepted norm' in writing. If it doesn't exist explicitly, then everyone is left to interpret it on their own, which is typically problematic. 
    I ran past the issue specifically because it's different in every workplace.

    Forestleaf needs to learn both the official and the unofficial dress codes. Sometimes the unofficial one is more important*. Though if she's getting negative comments from more than one person, chances are her yoga pants are over the line.

    * for example, you probably have to wear a suit and tie to work, and the official dress code says so. But the unofficial code is that you don't wear a zoot suit or a skin-tight Italian designer suit, and you don't wear a string tie or one with naked people printed on it. My dress code says "blue pants", but I'd get sent home if they were light blue flannel pj pants.

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
    Blackwulf
  • AngelineAngeline planting seedsCategory Moderator** Posts: 14,501

    "Speak your truth." - Scarlet
    Remember to play!
    Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
    Be married, until you are not.

    Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
    JellyBean
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    Ok this topic is not a super important topic, but, since some people seem so interested in the dress code, here it is:
    *******************
    3.3.1 APPROPRIATE DRESS EXAMPLES
    Clothing that is clean and free of wrinkles
    Clothing that is suited for activities scheduled that day (public contact or meetings)
    Suits, sport coats, dress shirts, ties, and dress slacks
    Dresses, skirts, pants, blouses, sweaters
    Polo, golf, and sport shirts
    Dress sandals, loafers, and boots
    Neat jeans and t-shirts (for certain classifications in the Department)
    3.3.2 INAPPROPRIATE DRESS EXAMPLES
    Clothing not properly laundered or having tears or holes
    Visible undergarments
    Clothing with inappropriate advertising, slogans, or emblems
    Revealing, see-through, or strapless attire
    Clothing that does not fit properly (too tight or too baggy)
    Sweat suits or wind suits
    Shorts or skorts
    Short skirts or dresses (more than 3 inches above the knee)
    Skirts or dresses with revealing splits
    Tank tops, halter-tops, or crop tops
    Flip-flops or house shoes
    Open-toe shoes worn around heavy equipment or machinery
    ***********************

    My pants are tight, but they definitely fit.  They are my size.  They're I believe mostly nylon with polyester (there's a slight sheen to fabric), so they're not that stretchy cotton knit you might be thinking of.  Regarding my boss's POV, he's complimented me in them probably 4-5 times, each time mentioning something about fitness and segueing into a discussion about what weights I'm lifting.  After walking down the hallway today after a coworker wearing Reebok running pants and an oversized green t-shirt, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about my wardrobe choices.
    maverick said:
    It's actually not about the sexy factor. I wear a pair of bespoke grey suit pants that are so tight I have to sit down slowly so that they don't rip on me.  I get a kick out of watching people eyes to see if they look down.  They are suit pants.  They are not casual and they are not lazy. 

    We just railroaded a girl for wearing similar attire with sandles in the clinic.  Go with a short dress and opaque tights.  Nice shoes, etc.
    @maverick "railroaded"??  Please tell me you're kidding.  Perhaps that's what sparks most of my ire, is the brazenness of my male coworker who told my young female coworker she shouldn't even wear the pants.  :s   Also, my H wears tight pants all the time.  His quads are fairly large, so there's no way around it.  It doesn't seem an issue; he's dressed more professionally than anyone at his work.

    Bottom line: I am happy with the choice.  My boss and my H seem to be happy with it.  So I'm sticking to it.  Sorry to go on about a less than important topic.
    HowlAtTheMoon
  • maverickmaverick Member Posts: 471
    Not kidding.  An otherwise great student that was applying to our residency lost the offer because she wore 'casual' clothes for clinical observations.  It was actually a female faculty that made a big deal out of it.  Casual pants and sandals ...

    I'm not picking on you.  When I started I got lectured on my dress on two separate occasions.  Once because I didnt have the little buttons done that hold down the my collar over my tie and another time because I was wearing pants that had shrunk a little over a few wash cycles and a little bit of my socks were showing.  Both told me it looked sloppy and unprofessional.

    People are always watching and judging what you wear.  Some of these people have power over your professional career.  When I leave the house every morning, I make sure that I am looking my 100%.  This is in context of your workplace of course, and only you can tell what is too dressy or too formal.
    TemplarWheelMan
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