New Video Series: Nice Card Mean Card

Athol_Kay · April 26

And here's the series I was working on shortly before I almost kicked the bucket from a heart attack last month.

It's 36 short videos, coming to just under four hours of total video. You can watch the first few videos for free on Vimeo.

One of the things that is clearly noticeable by everyone coming to the forum, is that we have all at some point run into the problem of weak personal boundaries and having someone run over the top of us and take advantage of the situation.

Or put another way, we played the Nice Card and they played the Mean Card. Repeat that cycle a few times and relationships can quickly stop being fun.

This series is about learning a simple, clear tool that cuts through the uncertainty of whether or not someone is trying to take advantage of you, and gives you an equally straightforward solution as to what to do about it.

You'll learn how to spot and handle incoming Mean Cards in real time, and learn how to encourage people to play more Nice Cards in your direction. All without needing to become unpleasant yourself.

Vimeo Hosting

Vimeo is the retailer and hosting the videos. You will need to have a Vimeo membership to buy (or rent) the videos. Vimeo membership is free and signing up is a snap. The Vimeo FAQ for buying is at https://vimeo.com/help/faq/watching-videos/vimeo-on-demand-purchases.

Please Leave a Comment on the Vimeo Pages

As a final request, please leave comments on the Vimeo sales pages themselves. There's been some very positive comments about the videos on the forum, but they would be a huge benefit if you can also say something on the Vimeo sales page.

And thank you to everyone who has been so supportive as we've pushed this project ahead.

All 36 episodes are live! Click here!

Athol_Kay · April 27

And issues resolved. Should be all set now.

IrishGypsy · April 27

Watched first episode then immediately bought the series. I also like how they're much shorter in length. Hasn't always been easy to fit in 50min videos into a day from the wife series.

Reborn · April 27

Yes, ditto that, I've bought the series, like the short format

Athol_Kay · April 27

The shorter ones are easier to script and shoot as well.

I'm moving toward a model of "The name of the product is the name of the tool" + "The product is about the tool and not much else".

If you're into spooky moments, the very last video in the series was almost my final message to the world.

anonym · April 27

Same. Watched 1st episode. Bought the series. Great stuff! Im glad you are ok @Athol_Kay.

Serenity · April 27

Yay!! Congratulations!!!

frillyfun · April 27

I'm glad you're ok, and excited to watch them! Congrats to you and Jen!

Maria · April 27

Athol, I'm super excited, because I really need that series!
I've often wondered why I always err on the side of being too nice in my personal relationships per default. Common explanations revolve around having had too demanding parents or even worse, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Your explanation makes so much sense! Thank you for your insight.

SaigoTakamori · April 28

Ba Bam!

AlphaBelle · April 28

No. More. Heart attacks. >.<

frillyfun · April 28

I *think* titles may be messed up? There are two of each episode number, but with different titles.

Athol_Kay · April 28

frillyfun said:

I *think* titles may be messed up? There are two of each episode number, but with different titles.

We discovered a titling error in the first eight episodes shortly after release, which is why we pulled it for several hours.

Because you purchased it before we figured out the error, you can see in your playlist both the original incorrect episodes, and the updated ones. Vimeo's policy is that once you buy a video, you get to keep it no matter what happens.

I've gone back and updated the wrong titles to be called "Removed - [title]" so they are less confusing to skip.

I believe there's a total of two or three people that bought the videos before we caught the error. I'm so sorry for the confusion.

People buying it after the title updating will simply see the correct episodes/titles.

frillyfun · April 28

Gotcha! No worries- that's the price of being an early adopter. The up side is that you get the really cool stuff before everyone else, so it's definitely worth it.

Also, I'd gladly buy the .mp3 version for the same price...available on Amazon??? You're always about 25 steps ahead of my marketing brain, but I thought I'd put the idea out there, and beg. Streaming isn't so hot at my house at the moment.

RPG46 · April 28

Thanks for the videos. I'll be checking them out shortly.

I was very concerned to hear about the heart attack. Very glad to hear that you're OK. Be well, my best to you Athol.

Athol_Kay · April 28

shibari said:

Bought the vids today.
Do you plan to eventually add a low resolution mobile version, just like with the Guide to Wife series? Would help with storage/bandwidth. Well appreciated.
Don't sweat it, though, will ya?

I haven't added a mobile version to the MGGTW series. That's through Vimeo somehow.

RedPillRon · April 29

I just made the purchase and look forward to the material.

maverick · April 29

Just purchased the series. This is great material. Thank you Athol.

MrsJon · May 2

We just bought the series yesterday and have watched the first five already. Really thought-provoking. Loving them so far. We are planning on watching a few each night as couple time.

Thank you Athol.

Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery now.

Athol_Kay · May 3

http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/discussion/comment/536731/#Comment_536731

Legs said:

I've watched the Nice Card Mean Card series. It has changed my perspective and approach. It also ties into a concept Serenity is having me try with my enneagram 4 type. Turn emotions into actions. I'm seeing a sudden change in my husband when I apply tit-for-tat approaches.

Example: my husband has been complaining of a cold this week. Instead of being frustrated with the same old cry of sickness, I canceled our date night and planned something else. He fought dirty with gaslighting, almost word for word from the video series and told me how uncaring and mean I was to not want to spend a quiet evening snuggling with my husband. I told him to get some rest and I would be back later that night. He had a miraculous recovery and I didn't hear a peep about his cold all weekend.

Example: I asked for a discussion on the budget and adding a bucket for discretionary spending. He turned to emotional sabotage to DARVO the conversation. The next day, I set up a separate bank account and changed my direct deposit. It was amazing how quickly he wanted to have a conversation about budget.

It's a helpful video series.

Thank you! And a nice bump for @Serenity as a coach as well.