Young guy looking to learn and grow.

tgrelyt

Before I met my partner I used my online celebrity fame to seduce beautiful women all over the world. I studied the art of seduction with some of the arguably best pick up artists on the planet. This was for a few years, I'd speak to a different woman every day. Enjoy the conversation and my freedom, until I met my loved one. That's when I thought I'd try to settle down, which resulted in us getting married not long ago.  But before that I genuinely loved and enjoyed speaking to women 

I've been married for 6 months, and my mind is rattled with images of infidelity.  I often find myself wanting to speak to other women, almost constantly fantasizing about meeting other women etc. Recently, it's come to a point where thoughts turned into action. I recently spoke to a model online, and got her number. It was a friendly chat, nothing that crossed boundaries. 

But I kept rattling my mind, why did I enjoy it? If it was just friendly banter? 

To quote the legend Athol himself.  "I do get bored and understimulated and that’s where I go astray and get into trouble. It’s so easy for me to start chatting and flirting and BAM! I’m starting to emotionally engage with someone and I can feel myself starting to line up a set of crosshairs on them." 

This is exactly how I feel. I'm 23 years old and trying my best to be utmost best to be committed. I love my wife. But this improptu sexual frustation, this energy and desire to want to speak to, flirt with and emotional engage with other women is draining. I'm here to learn and grow, from Athol and his great team of supporters and followers. 

I'm here to truly grow, into the married man. 

So that's my story, any thoughts? 

Jen_Kay

Welcome to the Forum, @tgrelyt

I would suggest doing your triage in this thread (triage questions found here). It's hard to give you advice quite yet, not knowing your story. 

Tennee

So, I'm a smidge confused. 

We're talking actual sex ("seduce women all over the world") - or some semblance of it, e.g. show-and-tell via skype, whatever., or more what we'd call Emotional Affairs (EAs) here? 

I speak and flirt with women every day - however, there is no 'emotional' aspect to it.  And I do this with the 94 year old lady in line at the bank just like the 24 year old SR 9.25 getting a salad at the deli.  The thing is, I make 'em laugh, flirt, whatever, and then walk away. 

And I totally agree you need to do the Triage before any of us have a clue as to advice for you.

tgrelyt

Tennee said:

So, I'm a smidge confused. 

We're talking actual sex ("seduce women all over the world") - or some semblance of it, e.g. show-and-tell via skype, whatever., or more what we'd call Emotional Affairs (EAs) here? 

I speak and flirt with women every day - however, there is no 'emotional' aspect to it.  And I do this with the 94 year old lady in line at the bank just like the 24 year old SR 9.25 getting a salad at the deli.  The thing is, I make 'em laugh, flirt, whatever, and then walk away. 

And I totally agree you need to do the Triage before any of us have a clue as to advice for you.

Thanks for your response, I will do the triage now. And post it here. 

IrishGypsy

I wish I'd discovered this quality of help when I was your age (now 36). The community here is amazing, brilliantly insightful and more than happy to smack you over the head with a much-needed virtual 2x4 if they think you need one. Looking forward to seeing your triage.

Reborn

My first thought is, have you read "The Truth" by Neil Strauss. It is exactly about this problem.

Maggie_May

Agree with reading "The Truth".  I think it takes some of the allure out of "The Game", especially as you age and mature, and life becomes more about the emotional connections you have than all of the physical connections you could have had.   

codename_duchess

Welcome. "The Truth" was literally my first thought whilst reading this.
It could be that you find being wanted by women validates you. The trick is to find the need behind the desire and work on that need. There's a ton of stuff out there on "Emotional IQ" which is about loving yourself and being able to differentiate between wants and needs, and asking for your needs to be met. I'm currently reading "More Than Two" which, although it's about polyamory, is all about recognising what drives us and communicating openly and clearly with partners.

Rockstar

@Reborn wow I just finished The Truth. Great book!  I'm glad you mentioned it  

george

Sounds like your past life was exciting and you took some pride in your skills. You retired from that life and now you miss it.  Only natural. Especially at your age.  Seems to me the only way forward is to commit to being married, accept it as a new challenge, and pour all of your time and energy into seeing how awesome it can be.  Stay busy = stay out of trouble.  There are things about beig married you can't get being single or being less than 100% invested.  Travel together, buy a house together, start a family together, build a life together.  Pretty soon you won't have time to chat online with models and get their number (which is crossing a line BTW, but you knew that).