Vanquishing Vampires - Am I Doing This Right

JustKeepSwimming

mrsthing said:

They treat me like someone with a f*cked up past that has gotten their life together.  And I guess it is true - I had a messed up past until I was 18 or so.  But none of that was my fault and I was not the person my mom has apparently portrayed me to be. Living on my own as a teenager I never got into drugs etc. and I was an honor student.  I went to college and excelled there too.

It is great that you recognize that none of this was your fault. You had a messed up past because the people expected to protect you failed in the worst way possible. To somehow hold that against you now is beyond comprehension. The last two sentences show just how remarkable and exceptional you are! 

Be remarkable with other people deserving of your time, friendship and love. 

mrsthing

That is really awful @Winter. I am sorry.  I don't like hearing this happened to you.

Unfortunately I think there is too much emphasis on forgiving everything and leaving the past in the past and all that garbage. I told my aunts that forgive is the worst of the F words because it is so often misused.

mrsthing

Thanks for that @JustKeepSwimming.  Need to hear that sometimes.  It took a while to get to the not my fault stage.  My mother told me over and over that I seduced my stepfather, and she kicked me out when she found a new guy because I was apparently going to "steal him".  And then when my uncle tried to make moves on me at age 19 (at a family party btw where everyone saw and he was asked to leave - and he continued calling me at college to invite me to stay over with him, which of course I did not) I just thought that well, I'm dirty and evil like my mom thought.  I thought that men just think they have a right to me and maybe they do.

I know that isn't true of course.  I got a lot better about that as I got older. 

But my cousin, I wish I knew where her head was at.  I feel like she will never tell me.  I'm so sad for her b/c I know how hard it was for me.  I never had a breakdown but I hurt for years over it.  I don't even know if she is in therapy.  I got help for all of this and it made all the difference.

mrsthing

So hard to get rid of vampires.  I keep finding myself alternately missing my two friend vampires and being mad at them.